I don't want to tell my family...help.

The decision ultimately is yours. I can tell you how I dealt with this issue. Most of my family and friends were supportive, but there were a few that were not. For them I found that it was a lack of knowledge about the surgery and how this procedure has improved tremedously over the past five years or so.  During the seminar there were many statistics thrown out about this surgery compared to other surgeries and the weight loss success rates. I wrote them all down to relay to my husband, as he was unable to attend the seminar with me. What I didn't realize at the time was how handy these facts would be in speaking with unsupportive family members and friends. After talking about the advances made in WLS, explaining the procedure in detail and giving the statistics from the seminar, every single person had a new outlook on WLS. Now, I tell everyone that I had WLS! I am very proud that I was brave enough to take this step to improve my health. I will admit that I do get upset when someone states that I took the easy way out and make sure that they are aware that there was nothing easy about it.  When people comment about my weight loss, I think of it as an opportunity for me to educate others on this wonderful procedure. No matter how busy I am, when an overweight person inquires about my weight loss, I will take the time to answer all their questions. I hope to give them enough information to consider having the surgery themselves. Most of all, don't worry about how your family members will react. You know that the right choice was made for the sake of your health. They will come around as soon as they see all the positive changes resulting from the surgery. Take care, Michelle 

I just wanted to tell you good luck with your surgery.  I had a few individuals in my life that were not fully supportive of the surgery and that was a bit hard to take in.  A friend I met through here had the same issues, although it was her direct boss/owner of the company she worked for.  She took a week off and told her boss she was just going up north on vacation.  She came back to work and the first few days she had to leave early because she couldn't stand sitting at her desk all day.  Her boss just thought she had the stomach flu or something.  When her boss started questioning her about her weight loss she simply said that she started a low carb diet, is drinking more water, and exercising like crazy.  That was almost 3 years ago and her boss has yet to know.  It is possible :)  Just stick with your original story.

For myself, I am not telling hardly anyone. Partly it is my own personal journey, and also I feel that it will put pressure on me to lose. I am not sure that people understand that this is not the "easy" way out. We've all tried EVERYTHING before getting WLS. I just told people that I had to have shoulder surgery and am doing fine now. I just got my band, so I haven't really seen dramatic results yet. Friday is my first fill, yikes!  Janice

I have been up front in telling my entire family. I sat everyone down and presented a video of the surgery that I found online. My entire family is very supportive of the surgery although some co-workers were surprised. If they are not supportive now, how are they going to feel once they see the outcome? Tell them you have decided to make a change in your life and whether the family supports YOUR decision it’s their problem. Luckily you do have support in your husband and friends as well as your online friends that feel the pain and have lived with the pain. Don’t let anyone ever tell you what’s best for your health, your heart knows what’s best for you. Family can be very cruel but if they love you they should accept your decisions whether they agree or disagree. Keith

Whatever you decide to do, it is YOUR choice!  It doesn't have to be complicated...just tell people that you have made lifestyle changes, and you don't eat sugar, white flour or soda anymore.  You drink more water and exercise.  You are under enough stress being overweight, try not to fret over this.  People will speculate, but stay strong.

I decided that my fanily and friends did not need to know about my surgery.  I tell them that I am finally doing what my doctors have been telling me to do for years...and that is TRUE!!!  I am eating better, feeling better and getting more activity.  Then, I just change the subject...(smile). Good luck to you.  Start thinking about where you are going to put all those new size 8 clothes your will be wearing...very soon....(grin) Hope this helps.

Hey there,

I am sorry to hear that you don't have the support network that you really need in your family. I also have family members that are very concerned and are opposed to me having the bypass instead of the band. For me it came down to realizing that I am making a life changing decision for the better. I am proud of what I am preparing to do. It doesn't matter how you do it, what matters is that you have decided to do something about it. Having the surgery doesn't mean that you don't have to work just as hard to take it off and maintain. Many of us just need the surgery to help us achieve what we desire to achieve. Be proud of your decision, and don't be afraid to share with others. They should be proud that you have committed to changing your life no matter how you decide to do it.

Hang in there!

Nataiya