Considering WLS, unsupportive spouse. . .

I have been considering WLS for about 6 years now.  My husband and I have been married for nearly five years.  We are both morbidly obese.  I have tried so many things to lose weight including diet/excercise, Weigh****chers, hypnotism, and SlimFast.  I finally got my husband to go to a seminar with me in March 06.  After the meeting hubby said that he would support me in my decision if I could try to lose weight on my for 6 months and go to the gym a min. of 3x a week.  The 6 month supervised diet is part of my insurance requirement so I said I would give it a shot.  I last 4 months on WW and lost 25#'s.  Then we decided that we would try to have another child.  We've been trying for a year, with no success.  A year later, I have gained back the 25#'s plus an extra 5 #'s.  I brought up WLS again last night and he thinks that because I couldn't stick with diet/exercise for 6 months that I wouldn't be able to do it after surgery.  He says that if he really wanted to lose weight he could.  I know I can't.  I need the tools that the surgery provides.  Did anyone else have an unsupportive spouse and go ahead with the surgery? I know I can't make him change his mind, but I can't go ahead with the surgery without his support. Jaime

Jamie  Just a guess here, But I think you and your husband need to do more research , go to some support groups and see what life is llike after surgery - I learned a lot  from the groups - Its no longer a matter of willpower - witch I have more of now than ever before, But a lot of it has to do with getting so physically sick - you loose your desire for indulgent diet & behavior ,  Is you husband feeling pressured by your decission, you know it may be easier to have a child after you loose some of the extra weight.  I applaud you for your decission , I wish you both the best of luck and hope it all works out for the best !

Yep I would do a lot of reading and going to support group together.

Ahhhhh, you're telling my story!  .....My hubby was NOT supportive at all.  He came with me to support groups BEFORE I signed on for surgery so that he could prove it was wrong for me.  .....  I had the surgery (my choice...my body...my health...my future!)......8 months later HE had the surgery too!  .....and we're living happily ever after! Hang in there!  Save YOUR life!

Jamie - Always remember it is YOUR body, my husband and I are both Moribly Obese as well, he is not as much anymore since being diagnosed with Sleep apnea, Diabeties, high blood pressure, he now HAS to watch what he eats, BUT.. and this is a very big BUT - he lost over 80lbs just by switching to diet soda......  WOMEN are very different with weight and that was one thing my hubby never agreed with me on, untill I took him to a seminar and also got him things to read that EXPLAINED how different men and women are with loosing weight.  Please consider factors though, your age, your health and your commitment.  I am now a BANDER as of 3/14/07, and it still is a tremendous amount of work on my part, even the RNY people have to deal with the MENTAL issues of loosing weight, definitely go to some seminars for BOTH surgeries, the band is VERY good for people looking to get pregnant, not sure how the RNY works with getting pregnsnt, but do your research and make sure this is the thing for you.  I have battle weight all my life,  I am in my early 40's and finally decided to do what I needed to do for MYSELF for once in my life!  I am 5 mths out and have lost 63lbs and I feel WONDERFULL and thank god everyday for the decision I made to do this, but remember it is still a personal fight.  Good Luck and try and let hubby read some of these responces, I let mine.  Hang in there and TAKE CARE...  Dont hesitate to review my profile or ask any questions, it's what we're here for.