Thanks for reading...

Thanks for all the kind words of encouragement.  I know in the long run this will all work out.  I know right now I sound very discouraged about this and I thought I would share my thoughts.

I am 38 now and looking back at my life I very much enjoyed the early days.  I never had a weight problem even though my mom did.  I was very active and guess basically I burned off whatever I ate.  I always ate a big dinner and rest of the meals was I would say pretty normal size.  Anyways just after High School I was playing basketball at the local park with some friends.  When I landed and had messed up my knee badly.  The next few days I was in terrible pain.  It was a holiday week so I had to wait 4 days for a surgeon.  To make a long story short my knee was never the same again.

I could no longer have the active life because of the injury.  As the years passed by gained some weight but not a lot until I reached my mid 20s.  I had jobs that did not require a lot of getting around and the weight became an issue.

A few years back now I was laid off from my job, which is a story itself witch I will not bore you with other than to say I became severely depressed and could not longer work even though I wanted too.  My depression got so bad I could not leave the house anymore and my weight showed for it.  During this time I did meet the love of life (Thank GOD!).  We had a beautiful baby girl which I love dearly.  At this point I knew I needed help.  I thought to myself how can I have this girl and I cannot even leave my house to take her anywhere.  It was like a slap in the face for me.  I knew I have to do something.  During this time I was declared disabled due to my depression.  This was a blessing and a huge issue.  Getting the extra money to help us a lot with our bills and my getting insurance for my other medical problems, but this did not help my depression at all.  I hate the fact that I need to depend on federal help to get by.

About 6 months ago my family could no****ch my kill myself anymore.  They knew they needed to do something.  They contacted the TV show “Intervention” about me.  The show came here and filmed us for 2 days.  I was told it was a documentary about depression and weight but I was pretty sure I knew what was up.  I knew in my heart they could help me.  Well after filming for 2 days they called us all into a meeting to tell us that we were just “too nice of people” and they would not be able to sell the show to the network.  We did not have conflicts of fight and that is what the network wanted.  Then they told my family since they could not sell the show they could not help me.  I was crushed.  How could someone do this to us?  Now my depression is worse.

Now I am getting better.  I am trying to do something for myself.  It is hard for me but I will make it.  Like I said before I was hoping I could get the surgery sooner but I will do what I need to do to get my life back.

Thanks for reading…

 

hug and kiss's to you Ray ! hnag in there , things are going to get better for you ! you just have to keep the faith !!!

Hang in there Ray. It is definitely a tough road. I've actually struggled with weight since I was 11 years old! It took me many years and 5 cousins going through the surgery to finally make up my mind to do it. Have you checked out Carnie Wilson's website? She has some information on getting help for the surgery. Dena

Thank you all for the replies.  It does help to know that I am not alone.  My wife is my best friend and she helps me a lot!  Yesterday I had to take her to her Dr. because she hurt her lower back somehow.  She started to ask the Dr. what she thought about the lapband and if she should consider it also.  For some reason just hearing that made me feel very good.  I know I need to do something but knowing she feels she may need help feels good. Anyways I got my first appointment with Dr. Simpson for Aug 7.  I am looking foward to meeting him.

Ray, I can tell you that you definately aren't alone!  I too gained my weight in my 20's and enjoyed a much more active life prior to gaining my weight.  Don't let it get you down!!  It sounds like in the past the world was an open book for you, and it really can be once again.  My life has been re-invigorated this year, and it all started in January by visiting my surgeon.  Some of my issues had to do with food and weight, but others were just related to my letting my life get out of balance.  For me, the more I confronted my issues and made changes, the better things have gotten.  I've also gained an increased appreciation for the things I have. All the best as you begin your journey, Dave

Ray, Thank you for being so open about your situation and the pain you have been through.  I know it is hard...but  we have to keep moving forward.  I went through a very painful period where I was just a couple weeks from my surgery (last October), then it was postponed because the office did not submit correctly to my insurance.  WOW, what a punch in the gut!  I was devastated when I was told that I had to start all over again and go through a 6 month program before re-submitting me.  I cried for days & days.  I know how depressing it is...I just wanted to give up.  I thought, "this surgery just isn't for me".   But my family would not let me give up.  They were my rock...and their love got me through it all.  I also prayed a lot and journaled. Today, I am 6 days post-op and working towards the goals I have established for myself.  These first few days have been a little difficult, but manageable.  I will not complain, because this is what I prayed for. I will offer a prayer for you, too.  Your new life is just around the corner.  Hang in there and know that there are people that truly care about you. Good luck to you and God bless. Robin