I am struggling....need help!

Some of you know my story...it has not been a easy ride for me....I thought when I had my band placed that the band i would work together to get me to my goals....I have had 3 surgeries since my original one...and i just feel like i have been on a rollar coaster ride....after my last surgery I switched surgeons and started to do well....between Oct -Jan i had lost 18 more pounds that had brought my total to 80 pounds lost at that point. I was on a role...i felt so good and was doing great! Then i had a slight fill....it was too much and i ended up having to had a unfill in Feb....i was pretty sick so it was a big unfill.....My Dr and I have been working to get me back to a good fill so that the band will help me again....but i am not there....it has been frustrating..... At my last Drs appt i was explaining to my Dr how i felt....and he said that he thought that my problem was me and not the band....he told me if he gave me another fill that he guaranteed i would be throwing up....scared me to peices because that is NOT what i want...I have been there and that is horrible...i have a 1 and 2 year old Granddaughter to take care of full time so I cant be sick...he did give me a fill...and i did not throw up....and i still need another fill....i am afraid to go back in after our last conversation.....I know what it feels like when the band and i are working together....i am not there....my doctor says i should not "feel anything". I dont understand that....if we didnt feel anything with the band then why have a band placed???  I am starting to gain some weight....i dont want to put the weight i have lost back on...i have weight still to lose....i am not sure what to do...if i should just give up and say take out the fluid in the band and go back to some other weight loss program (which never worked long term before)....i am just not sure....What do you think??? What would you do??? I need some help and suggestions....pleased be honest...i dont want anyone to pat me on the back if that is not what you think....i need some honest opinions....i am just at a loss right now and not sure what to do...Tonight my Dr has his support group meeting and i know i should go...i want to go...but they have now made it mandatory that you have to weigh in....it is for some study....and i dont want to go and get weighed in...i dont need that right now....so i wont be going to that tonight even though i really need to be there..... Thanks for listenning..... LuAnne

LuAnne, So sorry to hear what your going through, I know you have been through so much too and have so much on your personal plate right now that this must be like IMPOSSIBLE!!  HANG IN THERE!  I know how our Doc talk to us and I have often wondered as well why have the band if there is no PHYSICAL help from it, but I am learning through a bad overfill that that IS NOT how we want to feel and I think Doc wants us to train ourselfs with portions and control and IT ISNT EASY!  BUT rememeber Lu - you know your body, yes hes the Doc but you know YOUR body better then he does, I would FOR SURE go to tonights meeting, get weighed in, thats the most important part of this journey for us all, to be ACCOUNTABLE, so if the scale is up we need to relize what we did to get it there, and then I would make an app't with the Doc for another fill,  he is probably being VERY cautious with you because of all you've been through too.  But if you can get the kids covered GO TONIGHT, you'll see people who will help motivate you and get you back on track!!  I wi**** wasn't so far for me cause I'd come and get you, but I think it will help..  HANG IN THERE and we all know it is frustrating at times and we only got a TOOL to help US with our weight loss, but we have to operate that tool!!   Thinking of you!

Hi Candi, Yes at times I am feeling like this is impossible right now...but on the other hand i dont want to give up...i have been through so much the past 2 years to quit now....No..I dont want to be overfilled at all...I have been through that a few times now...and it is the worst feeling! I dont want my band so tight that I cant eat...but on the other hand i need it to help make a difference...if I could do this all on my own I would have done it all by myself!

It was too late to get a sitter for tonight...i thought about the meeting tonight...i love to go to them...and i really dont like missing them...i do think that making it mandatory to weigh in is not a good idea...it will affect others who are having a tough time too etc...

Thank you for caring...your a sweetheart!!! What happened with your overfill??? Let me know....

LuAnne

Hey Lu - Just hang in there and do call DOc!!  But I do understand how you feel about if you could have done t you would have FOR SURE!!  But I am also learning that I DO have to do it and that the band is just there to guide me, but I do wish at times I had a little more "GUIDENCE" from it!  :) Once I got a little UNFILLED I was fine, but had a few rough days cause didnt called Doc right away cause I wasn't sure what the heck was going on, I'm new at this ya know, so went in on the follow Tuesday and felt MUCH better once he took a little out!!  Thanks for askin!!  We're HERE FOR YOU!!

80 lbs is awesome!!  Sorry to hear that you've had a rough journey.  Don't forget to give yourself credit for how far you've come, and that it was you who made the decisions necessary to push your life in a positive direction.  When you're not losing, focus on making sure you are engraining healthy habits into your lifestyle.  That is the only way any of us will get the long term results we really want. Stay positive!!! --Dave

Dave, Thanks for your reply!!! How encouraging! Your words are what i really needed. Thank you so much for taking the time to write them.....

You are right...it is the lifestyle change that is important no matter what....thanks for reminding me!

LuAnne

Luanne! Go back to your doc and have a pow wow!  He is a warm and caring man and wants you to succeed.  ....You can imagine that docs see hundreds of patients and  they always have a few who are non-compliant.  It's hard for them to know for sure who is truthful and who is full of bologna!  .....  It's wrong to assume that ti's the patient's fault but all they have to go on is the amount you have in your band and compare it to others with similar amounts.  But, .....everyone has different needs for fills and different levels of success. I"m babbling.....but, I do know that you should send an e-mail to D or C or the Doc and express your feelings .  In fact, how bout just forwarding a copy of this post.  You  shouldn't have to weigh in if you want support.  Come to the Chandler Support group.  WE have a handful of bandsters each time and we're all  on the same page with trying to make better choices and live healthy lives! I know that I do my very best with my choices when I am journaling my food.  I haven't done it in a while and my jeans are screaming at me now! .....  I have got to count protein, count calories, coun****er bottles, count vitamins and get it all down on paper to prove that it all adds up right at the end of the day!  Join me??? Hang in there sweetie pie!  Your band is "adjustable" .....it's supposed to have a "sweet spot"........Go for it!

Hey Joyce! Thanks for your post! I need to go back and have a pow wow...I have never had a problem doing that before but after my last visit and the way he talked with me i am not sure he will be receptive. Maybe I am all wrong...but i dont think so.....I know he is a warm and caring man...and i think he is so knowledgable about the band...but i dont know what else to say other than to tell him what i am doing and that the band is not helping me like it was in the past...the fill he gave me back in Oct was great....from Oct until i saw him in Jan i had lost another 18 pounds and was doing so well....he gave me a tweak in the band at that visit and i so wish i could take it back...it has messed everything  up....the tweak made the difference and i was too tight and got pretty sick...had a pretty big unfill and just cant get back what i had before the unfill...

I wish they had not started making it mandatory to weigh in at support group meetings...i think that is a big mistake....i didnt have a problem with it until now as i was losing every time...but going through a hard time like now makes it very hard to have to get on a scale...especially in the evening.....

I hope I get back to my sweet spot...but i dont know if he believes in that either...does he??? I sure hope so!!!!

How are you doing????

LuAnne

Hi Luann, My friend is also a patient of Dr. Simpson, and he is a very nice man that wants to help his patients succeed.  I found that generally he can be intimidating sometimes...but if you persist, he will listen and come up with a solution.  My friend was having a lot of problems getting her ban set correctly...much like your situation.  Ask Dr. Simpson to perform the next fill under x-ray...not with a glass of water while you sip.  He cannot see what is going on inside you and doesn't know what you are feeling.  He also made my friend feel that it was "her problem" not the band.  Well, somewhere the two have to co-exist for you to have the benefits. It is awesome that you have lost 80 lbs. so far.  You will find the right setting for your band...but I also think a pow wow is in order...and stick to your guns!!!  Good luck! Robin

Luanne~ I think next support meeting we should do a sitdown and refuse to be weighed.  I never heard them tell me it was mandatory and I missed weighing in several times in the past.  In fact this last time I only weighed in the very end right before she put away the scale.  They wouldn't of even known if I did or didn't.  I also feel that "YOU" and only "YOU" can tell if your in need of a fill or not.  I agree with Joyce that he sees many patients and he's only going by what is a rule of thumb but you know how you feel.  Maybe your band shifted a little and you can hold more fluid in your band.  I would throw a fit you know me.  Right now I too am struggling because I figured out how to cheat my band after all these months.  I won't go into details but it freaked me out and I too had a fill a few weeks ago when I was at a pretty good level and now I feel less restriction as before.  I don't know why the band is a funny tool like that and I've been hoping for three weeks it would kick in but it's not.  I sat down and made a chart of what I'm doing wrong and what I should be doing to help make this work.  Exercise is one thing I have ran from and I don't know why because I do like it once I start doing it.  Snacking is something I've been doing and that's BADDDDDDD!  It won't make you feel satisfied and you can snack all day on the band if you like.  I wish you well but I think you need to just go in and cry and stomp and throw a fit.  I'll go with you if you make it late in the afternoon.  Maybe having someone else there will help.  YOu know your body better then anyone else doees and since you've had it so long you also know that feeling you get that helps you lose weight.  Don't give up that's only hurting you in the long run.   Your in my thoughts and prayers you will pull through this I swear.