Can things get worse?

For a very brief time, I actually thought that things were starting to go my way. My wife was feeling better and her bleeding had all but stopped. We learned of a local program that helps people get into a home of their own, and they seemed excited to help us. I was doing well in school and had aspirations of finally finding work in a career. My surgery was still a little ways off, and other than struggling to loose weight, I am right on track. What a glorious week that was. I remembered what it was to be happy and full of hope. Then as I should have expected, but didn't, Life kicked me between the legs... again... It all started with a phone call about 7:00 pm Last Thursday. It was my wife's Doctor and he was worried because her amniotic fluid was low. His concern is that the subchorionic hemorrhage had blocked some nutrient from reaching the baby. My wife is now on limited activity (again), but has also been placed on disability, because the doctor does not want her to work. Next to call was the housing people, who told us we didn't qualify for low income help because we couldn't qualify for $140,000 mortgage. If we could qualify for a mortgage like that we wouldn't need their help!!! My current job ends in a few weeks, and the only interview I have is for a internship making a whopping $7.00 an hour... What will I do with all the money? Then Dr. Blackstone's office calls and tells me my surgery (already rescheduled 3 times) is being rescheduled again! At least it was a short move, from June 8th to June 25th. So basically, I have to continue to live with my parents (My wife and I had to move in with them last April when I was layed off), have zero career options open at the moment, and after paying insurance premiums, will have little money left to work with. I have not been considered seriously for any "real" jobs due partly to my necessary time off for surgery in a few months, but mostly because of my obese body. I keep telling myself that after the surgery things are going to look up. I will feel better, and be more competitive in the job market. I will be a Healthier Dad to my first child (Due in September) and with a little luck and a lot of work, Life will be better. Am I deluding myself?

Hang in there Richard! WLS has saved many lives and improved many many lives! I'm sure it seems like September is soooo far away but by then you could very well be many pounds lighter, feeling healthier and ready to start your new job as a Dad and a great new employment job as well! How bout a student loan for now and do some on-line educational course while you wait and while you recover that will improve your job possibilities and will keep your mind in a healthy place? Take care! Joyce

Richard, I know that God gives each one of us different challenges to face everyday. It is hard sometimes to be grateful for what we have been given...even if it only to have a roof over our heads! I like what you wrote about being optimistic about your FUTURE! You are the one who is in control of that reality. Just keep reminding yourself that you will get there. Every day you take a step closer to having the career you want, the home you want and the life you want. Set goals...even if they are small ones...and read them everyday. It REALLY works. Don't let negative energy enter your mind. You have already taken the steps to improve your health and lifestyle, and I believe that you will see all of your dreams come true. I am praying that your wife and baby will be fine, and you will be holding them both in your arms very soon. Just hang in there...OK? Take care and be well. Robin

Richard I was thinking of you & your family the other day , I was praying this would get better soon , Ok - So they are not going so great right now -But YES things will look better in a few months, You just have to find strength to get through the HUMPS in life. Hang in there and keep positive thoughts up. Know what you can change and what you are blessed to have help with. One day soon you will be able to reflect on this all and remember how blessed you are. Someone told me once "God will only give you what you can handle " - I guess he has a lot of faith in you !

Have you tried any temp agencies? Hubby lost his Job, and was 500lbs... it didn't seem like many people wanted to hire him... I think partially because of weight, partially because of a mess up with his previous employer and verifying employment.... Anyway he went through an agency, and found a job earning $11 an hour (Which I know isnt much but we were desperate)... sight unseen.... he worked there 2 years.... Have you tried The Univeristy of Phoenix? They are always hiring, central locations.... $28-$34k a year for most starting positions... plus free school. In all honestly, maybe you need to do the best you can for your family.... and wait until after surgery for serious job looking, that way having to take time off for a surgery won't affect whether you get the job or not? I stil think you could probably find a decent job through a temp agency for a while, and then get back on your feet after surgery!