So what do we say to people...

when they say we took the easy way out. I went to lunch with my friend the other day and I told her about my surgery. Mind you, she is also overweight and probably weighs more than me. Anywyay, she said to me " what ever happend to old fashioned dieting and exercising" "Everyone wants to take the easy way out." I just looked at her and said, you think this is easy? There is nothing easy about this you still have to watch what you eat and exercise. I was also thinking to myself, how many diets have you been on and failed. So, my question is, what do we say to people who think we took the easy way out?

GRRRRrrrrrrrrr! How bout....."If you were to reserch obesity as a desease? You would find that it often has very little to do with "easy vs. difficult" but is rather based on genetics, illness, medication issues and general health. Heart bypass patients haven't taken the easy way out, cancer patients do not take the easy way out with surgery, etc. We are all choosing to LIVE which; fortunately is made possible through surgical options!" Or you could say! Soooooo....would you like a referral to my Bariatric surgeon so you can take the easy way out too?!!!! It''s all simply a lack of education. We need to be forgiving of our negative folks and then hang out with our freinds who cheer us on and are proud of us! (like at support groups!) *winks* Huggggzzzz, Joyce

Maureen- I thought I replied but I put it in a new post. You are a wondeful person who is trying to be healthy for yourself and your loved ones. You are positive and your friend is jealous or defensive deep down. People who get help when they need it have courage. Individuals who try to grit and bare it are arrogant. As a Counselor, I have heard people make comments that Rehab is the easy way out--substance abuse should be fought off alone or with an AA mtg. We all need help and sometimes doctors recommend more aggressive intervention. As a teen with severe bulimia, a relative told me that I didn't need therapy--- I just needed to pray more. Well, you know what--- I needed prayer and therapy and a nutritionist. Help is good--- all help is good. Judging is bad.

Maureen, I've heard my fair share of "Easy way out" the last three years. My response is this: Easy way out? You betcha! Much easier than 30 years of yo yo dieting. Easier than watching the scale creep up no matter how hard I exercised or how diligently I counted calories. Much easier than feeling like a failure because no matter what else I accomplished, I couldn't lose 5, 10, 15 pounds. Much easier than sitting on the sidelines while life passed me by. Much easier than waiting to die. Connie

Connie, Those are good replies, can I steal some of them? I need to be prepared for the next time someone says that to me. I'm not good with comebacks. I'm sure I will be using them soon as I'm going to my mom's in Florida soon and I will probably be hearing a lot of that. I need to be prepared.

Maureen, Feel free to repeat anything that works for you. Enjoy your trip to Florida and enjoy the compliments that you're going to get on the new lighter you. Connie

Maureen Yep I took the easy way out ! I found even as hard as it was to allow someone to cut open my body . I found it easy to be able to say good bye to increased chances of cancer, high blood pressure, high colesterole, risk of of heart attack, diabetes, and a lot of other health issue that come with being obese ! not to mention the high cost of food, clothing , medications. ---- I am now able to exercise and do lots of other things I could not enjoy 150 lbs ago .. So if someone wants to say I took the easy way - Go ahead - they can deal with the ugly stuff in life on their own ! maybe they should open their mind and shut their mouth ..

Sometimes people get confused and jealous when they see us having success. Try taking a gentle approach with her. I might say, "I've tried all of the conventional methods, and this was my only option". If you can come up with something better, by all means try it and WE can give each other support. There is also the sad realization that this may be a person you will have to "let go" off on your new journey. You do not need anyone that is going to negative or judgemental about your decision. It can be hard to do, but in the long run, your life and your health are what is important. Stay away from those "nay-sayers" and cultivate new, fresh and positive relationships. Maybe you wil meet some other kindred souls at a RNY support group meeting. Hope this helps. Wishing you the best. Robin

I have a friend (who is a registered nurse) eye me with dismay when I told her about my decision to have WLS. Her comment to me was, "you could lose weight if you only dieted and exercised." Mind you, she has more than a few "vanity" pounds to lose herself. To be fair, as an infusion nurse, she deals with post-op patients on a regular basis *****quire supplements injected via IV in order to achieve even a minimum level of health. I'm very grateful that I do enjoy good health (but I also follow the rules!) so I wonder if ALL the infusion patients she deals with just got dealt a bad hand or if they got a little lazy with the supplements, water, protein and exercise? Even now, she's firmly convinced I could have done it "on my own" if I'd only eaten less and exercised more. She knows how careful I am about what I eat today and that I'm a "regular" at the gym (for the first time in my life)! I was one of many women who would exercise and eat healthily, only to weigh MORE at the end of a week! So I know that WLS was the only way I was going to lose any significant amount of weight and keep it off, and I guess what I believe about myself is what really matters at the end of the day. Other than her, no one else in my circle has told me, even indirectly, that I took the easy way out, so I don't really have any catchy comeback suggestions. But because of her reaction, I am a little more careful about who I tell I had surgery, particularly now that I've entered the "health manager" stage as opposed to the "weight loss" stage. Reading the other responses, compared to what I went through pre-op trying to lose weight, getting weight off post-op has been relatively easy, but I know I have to do my part if I want to be a long-term success story. It helps a lot not having to deal with the constant hunger (the "grellin" component?). Maybe one comeback to the "easy way out" comment would be to suggest that the person who thinks it's easy just try to negotiate the insurance pre-authorization process alone! Ramona B

When people even seem like they are going to go with "Gee that's the easy way out." I make sure they understand that this isn't gastric bypass where the weight falls of because you are not absorbing food. I tell them the same thing you do, this still requires work. It is a big help but it isn't automatic. I think I was so thrilled with my results that as time passed I couldn't care less what people say. Most of them have no idea what a lapband is or how it works. I'm eleven months out from my surgery and have lost 70% of my excess weight. I wouldn't have traded this for anything! Good luck!