Jealous Friends

I have recently lost 60 pounds and had a tummy tuck and a breast reduction. I have since found that I am treated different and that I have lost some friends. Anybody out there have any feelings on this? I have had a really in depth conversation today about this with a friend of mine and she says that I am irritating and need to stop acting so "stuck" on myself.

Tami, My thought .... = get a really great outfit and ask her how she likes your NEW body in yiour NEW clothes? he he he !!!!! Some of us have a lifetime of being invisible. We deserve a moment or 2 in the spotlight....and, if you need another moment after a while then head back to the plastic surgeon and see what else there is to perk you up!!!! Big Huggzz and High Fives on your weight loss! Joyce ....I don't usually have "attitude" but sometimes people forget that compliments work sooooo much nicer in maintaining friendships than petty comments!

Wow, that put a smile on my face and a tear in my eye. That is sooo true. I do feel like I have spent my life invisible and now here is my time to shine and I got knocked in the head by jealous, insecure friends. I think I will head to Nordstrom to buy my size 4 jeans and my size small shirt. He He Thanks for responding!!!!

Hi Tami, First off... congrats on the 60lbs and your Tummy Tuck and the new "girls" I know EXACTLY how you feel. I have a friend that has issue with her weight also... I barely hear from her since I had the surgery. I think it is jealously, but who knows. When I told her I was having the surgery (she was the last person I told too) I knew I couldnt count on her for support and she didnt do crap for me. Now that I am down almost 70lbs, I get the up and down look when I do see her, i can feel her eyes almost burning thru my head. What ****** me off the most, is that I have been there for her, thru EVERYTHING. I have been by her side during major events in her life and I went thru one and she wasnt there for me at all. I told her this, but it was useless really. She is very selfish in my eyes now. I have read in many books, after you use a large amount of weight and do things better for yourself, your circle of friends do change. Because in most groups of friends, there is usually the "fat" friend, the person everyone can usually count on because they felt more worthy that way... well, when the person's life changes and becomes skinner the others get jealous, because they no longer feel better about themselves. Fortunately for me its only been that one friend. I am still the same person on the inside... and so are you. Friends come and go, I have learned, but the few that stick around are friends for life. I have become friends who some great ladies from this site. Enjoy your new body and flaunt it. That person doesn't deserve you as a friend if she is jealous of the exterior. ~Nicole

You go girl!! That's what your new friends (me) are for, to support you. I've never had too many fat friends, but I wonder as I get down to my skinny friends' sizes how they'll take it, but most know my struggle and are happy for me. May change when their husband start looking at me!!! LOL!! Katie

Tami, After I had lost 80 pounds, a friend who hadn't seen me since surgery called and asked me if I wanted to go to lunch. We weren't great friends, but were former co-workers and would meet once or twice a year for lunch. We both loved to eat and that was really our common bond. I was standing in the doorway of the restaurant when she walked in. At first, she didn't recognize me, but as she looked closer, a look of disbelief covered her face. I reached out to hug her and she spat out "*****!", spun around and stormed out of the place. I've never seen or heard from her again. I've lost relationships with friends and relatives over my weight loss. In most cases, it was people who had their own issues with weight and I can't own someone else's issue. I guess I would advise you to ask yourself honestly if there is any truth in what this person has said. If not, consider it her issue and let her own it. Connie

Wow. Everyone has stories of a friends betrayal. It makes me curious who in my life will turn on me once I have lost the weight. I don't think anyone of my friends would tell me I cheated as they all wanted me to have the surgery long before I wanted to have the surgery. Perhaps it will be someone in the family. Hopefully it won't be anyone, but after hearing everyones story it will be interesting to see. Thank you everyone for sharing.

Tami, I had some of the same issues, my so called best friend is now larger (size 8 real big mind you) than me and she is pretty vocal about it. "thats not fair your smaller than me, its not like you work hard to loose weight" OMG Well I went off on her.. "quit drinking soda and eating crap an maybe you can borrow my Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen size 14 little girls skirt to wear to church!" Well she called later and said sorry and is that skirt really from the olsen twins clothing line!!! ( I took it from my 14 year old) To funny, I had other friends that said I was diet cheating and it didnt count that I lost weight. WELL it counts in my book. They are just unhappy that we happy and darn good to look at!!! Enjoy the fabulous body you worked hard to get and don't think twice about the petty people that can't be happy with you! Jen

Hey Tami, Congrats on your 60 lbs...gone for good! You go girl!!! Keep that pretty smile on your face and love in your heart. The new friends you make will appreciate the angel you are! Robin in Mesa