Why am I doing this?

I am one year out, and have lost 130 lbs. I now wear a size 8. I love the way I look in my clothes. I am a breast cancer survivor, and am having breast reconstructive surgery next month. So I even get the breast lift and implant on the other breast done for free! So please tell me why I am not eatting correctly and exercising the way I used to????? I eat 'good' foods, but less protien and more fruit than I used to eat. I exercise only a couple of times a week, compared to 4-5 times a week the first 9 months or so. I take most of my supplements, but miss the 2nd dose of calcium more often than I take it. I don't even take it when I remember I didn't take it in the evening! I go to my 1 year check up this Thursday, but haven't improved my eatting/exercise because of it. I go to support meetings 2x a month, but the last one didn't move me at all. Could I be sub-consciously trying to sabatoge myself? I have started snacking - a few crackers here, a few there. I know I shouldn't eat them, but I go ahead! Why? I fought so hard to get approval for the surgery, and my health has improved so much, why would I start doing these harmful things? I know what to do, but that doesn't seem to be enough to make me do the right thing. I haven't gained weight, but know I will if I continue the way I am going. I just don't know how to jump-start myself again. Any words of wisdom out there?

Karen, You are going nowhere fast sweetie pie! You've done the public honesty declaration and now you've got to make a plan. You are right. You will gain weight. You are coming upon the end of your honeymoon phase and the sad reality is that you have to focus on counting caloreis the rest of yoru lfie or you can regain all the weight; many do. I know of several folks who have joined weigh****chers so they have more accountability. You can actually count your protein drinks as points (I think I figured mine as 2 points) and stay within their program nicely. Since you are already at a goal weight range then you could get the free privileges quickly. ..... just an idea. Sometimes WLS support groups are filled with newbies that are dropping 30 plus pounds a month and so the discussions don't address grads. Do lots of research on living a "low carb" lifestyl.e and enjoy! It's a great journey but it's up to you to make commitments to keep you on the right path. Your tool will just be as good as the direction you choose to take it. You CAN do it!!!! You've done incredibly well! Congrats on t he size 8!!!! Congrats on being a breast cancer survivor! .......Counseling? I do believe some of us sabotage ourselves......after all....hasn't our lifetime of dieting always included REGAIN!!!!! whatever you do.....don't drop off from us....we will be your lifeline!!! Big Hugggzzzzz! Joyce

Karen, Take advantage of all the support around you. By posting this you are reaching out, I just hope you do a one on one with someone professional. It kind of sounds like you don't think you deserve to have such a great new body, and since you believe that to be true I'm concerned, you'll make it true. Find another support group, there must be some other's than the one you went to. Start your own! Seek out other people that are at their goal weight and see what they are doing to maintain all that they have done. Throw out all your fat clothes! Don't keep any of them around, you never want to wear them again! You might need to do some serious self talking when you get into a mood to eat what you know will cause you to downward spiral. Going once to a support group isn't going to be enough, buy some books on healthly living, establish an exercise plan of something you like doing. No point in joining a gym if you can't make yourself go and hang out with people that are into a healthy lifestyle. Distance yourself from people that do not encourage you. I think they call it taking control of your destiny, the fact that you've done it once, tells me you can do it again. It took a lot of determination to lose 130 lbs., you CAN DO IT! CaroleM

Thanks so much for responding. I appreciate the honest replies to my situation. I will continue to go to support groups. I think I will take the advice to see someone one-on-one. It's can't hurt!