Honesty?

Prior to my surgery, I didn't tell anyone why I was out in September. I didn't want to be under a microscope while I lost weight. Now, co-workers are noticing that I'm losing weight. When they ask what's my secret, I'm very open about the surgery. I don't get this idea that losing weight has to be some great personal triumph over pain and deprivation. (Isn't religion filled with talk of pain and deprivation?) I think this attitude buys into the myth that fat people are weak and undeserving of health. What is this whole concept of the "easy way out"? Who gives a rats rear if it IS an easy way out? There is nothing inherently superior about thin people. Why do people assume that one must be miserable to be thin? You know, I couldn't lose weight on my own. The surgery did make it easy for me. Maybe not for anyone else but for me this has been a relative breeze and I'm not sorry one bit. I don't feel I have to 'earn' my thinness. I using the best technology available to me at this time. So therefore, I have no problems telling anyone about the surgery. If they feel I'm undeserving of my weight loss because I'm not miserable, well as we used to say in the army "Eff em". Barb

It does seem some people need this to be hard(er) than it is or should be. Its just the way some people are. Some people need to be miserable to be comfortable. I'm pretty outspoken about the being "the easy way". I began to wonder, did I feel this way pre-op? "Dec 20, 2002:... There has been a lot of talk recently on Obesityhelp.com about WLS being "the easy way." Well, I have been calling myself watching what I am eating (aka dieting) but on days like today I can say "What the heck, it's only one day." The "hard" part is that I won't be able to say it post-op... there will be no "days off." I guess the "easy" part will be that eating like I have today will not be an option. There will be no choice to make, I simply will not be able to. Period. Unless, of course, I have a strong desire to Dump or Vomit." And you know what, it is just as "easy" as I thought it would be. Sometimes it doesn't pay to be right... not this time though Tek

I haven't had surgery and won't be having it, but I do take offense to people saying, "you're losing weight so well; at least you didn't take the easy way out with surgery." How ignorant!!! What is easy about having your insides rewired, and having to take vitamins, eat a certain way, and completely obliterate certain foods from your diet or face dumping/vomiting, and physical misery. What is easy about learning to eat a way you've never eaten before?? I am loosely donig the Adkins diet and it has helped me lose 53 pounds since June. People ask me what I'm doing and I'm honest; I am loosely--which means I do go off the plan on occasion--I'm not going for anyone's view of sainthood; I'm trying to find a way to lose weight that I can live with!! I do tell them I exercise my butt off 90 minutes a day, 5 days a week, and that's the best I can do. I don't pray. I don't think anyone or anything is helping me: I am doing this, the best I can, all by my damn self. I have the love and support of my partner and my family, don't get me wrong. But when I hear, "Thank god you found something that works for you," or, "god knows you're working hard and he's rewarding you." I'm learning to take control over my life, over my decisions, and over the conseqences. It's time for me to grow up and do what I can to make my life what I think I deserve. I wanted surgery, and tried with every fiber of my being to have it, but since that road had a big old boulder slammed into the middle of it, I took the detour that lead me here. We're all just doing the best we can with the options we have. I think it rocks that so many of you were given the opportunity to turn your life around through the surgery. Few people get it, but I most certainly do. Jessica

You have something I didn't have when it comes to weight loss, for which I admire you. I guess I am ignorant, because I did take the easy way out. I have never lost weight so easily, so quickly, as I have with RNY. Tek

Tek, I think you misunderstood my post. I would never say that someone who had WLS was ignorant. I feel quite the opposite, actually. I feel the ingnorant come in the form of the people who think that you, or anyone who has had WLS, is taking the easy way out. As I said, there is NOTHING easy about the decision you made, the preparations for surgery, the surgery itself, or the entire reprogramming of your life post-op. I think it's awesome that you are losing weight quickly and easily: without WLS, you may never have had that opportunity! Somehow people think that losing weight is all about discipline, suffering, and sucking it up to change a problem we ourselves created. But what is lost on them is the fact that each and every person who has ever tried to lose weight --over and over again--have had discipline, and they have suffered--but the disease of food addiction was beyond their control. I'm not sure how a person could equate WLS with the easy way out; by the time one qualifies for WLS, it's damn near a matter of life or death. I wholeheartedly respect anyone who has or will have WLS. It's a monumental change in life, and one that each of you had to work long and to acheive. Please accept my apology if I sounded as though you or anyone who'd surgery was ignorant. My ranting was in the direction of those who don't have a clue as to what we all go through to make that decision to go through with WLS, and that there is nothing EASY about it. Jessica

I think you may have misunderstood my post... I DO think I took the easy way out. Why would I not be ignorant for thinking this, and a non-op would be? When I was pre-op, I thought I was taking the easy way out, was I ignorant then, but not now? My point is that people have different opinions than ours (heck, you and I have different opinions), it does not make them ignorant. If THEY are ignorant for believing WLS is the easy way out, consistency demands that you label me likewise ignorant, for I hold the same opinion. You are wrong about my decission, it WAS easy. Didn't vex or lament about it one second. I was not unhealthy, aside from the fact that 300 pounds overweight is inherently unhealthy, I had no comorbidities that the WLS was going to fix. The pain of surgery, and all the stuff that goes with surgery, was my trade-off for getting fast, easy weight loss. I traded something I did not have, willpower, for something I could deal with, temporary pain and discomfort, to acheive my end. To hold that temporary discomfort up as some sort of badge of acheivement would be hypocritical. As I've said before, I've got other things I did achieve, the RNY pouch can have credit for weight loss. Losing weight without WLS is IMHO about discipline or willpower, discipline or willpower I did not possess. I could lose weight in the short run, but did not have the willpower, mojo, or whatever it is to do it for the longer term. With WLS, it would have been harder (and in fact, sometimes is) NOT to lose weight. Morbid Obesity is something I did to myself. I put the food and drink in my mouth. Others may be able to blame other things for their Morbid Obesity, by I place the blame for my morbid obesity on me. Tek

Well said, Sir, and thank you for your honesty. Sally C