Will it EVER end??

I have not visited here in a while, and only posted a few times.  Life has become a pain - pun intended.

Not sure exactly WHEN I first posted, but I believe it was before my husband left me.  AND he left me with the house,  all the bills, responsibilities and maintenance, which I can do very little of.

Other than the fact I am seriously overweight, I DESPERATELY need joint replacement surgeries (both hips, left knee, right knee was done in '04), every ortho surgeon I consulted said they would NOT touch me unless I lost at the very least 100 pounds.  One even said he wouldn't do surgery unless I had weight loss surgery.

I had always been against weight loss surgery, mostly because I was never this much overweight, I didn't have other ailments made worse by weight AND it just plain made me nervous.  But the more years I have behind me, and the fewer years I have ahead of me, the less worrisome I am.  I am currently working to get Medicaid on the advice of the CPN I see.  First time she saw me she ask me WHY I wasn't on disability.  I guess I just never thought about it, but at this point I'm working on that as well.  Two of my professors have also suggested I go on disability, like all I have to do is WANT IT and voila, it's mine!  But the reality is, I have more than enough ailments to warrant it, at least for a while.  The one professor who was insistent in my filing is my Administrative Litigation Professor, so he does know about Social Security.  So I'm filing for disability, filing for medicaid and filing for SSI.  I need any and all help I can get.

Too many more weeks like this one and I'm just gonna crawl in a hole and pull a rock in after me.  And now, my therapist wants to check into medication for ADHD as I have all but two or three symptoms.  I've had enough of taking pills and having "new" labels and things to worry about.  And I've read a bit about some of the different surgeries and some will not allow you to take certain medications??  Aside from Obesity and OA, I also have Fibromyalgia, Myofascial Pain, Lumbar Stenosis, Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Separation Anxiety, depression, Lymph edema, Shingles and now ADHD (I think I forgot a few, its tough to remember them all.  

My only real hope for weight loss surgery is Medicaid.  According to their requirements, they WILL authorize it IF it is necessary to aid another serious medical condition.  The woman I spoke with at our Jobs and Family Services Department after asking me for my laundry list of maladies told me I should have more than enough reason and health conditions to qualify. I just want to feel better.  The pain from the OA is unbearable most days, despite narcotics.  My fear is if I have weight loss surgery, but cannot take pain meds until I can have my joints replaced, I'm going to be in misery.  I've tried going off of them, and I feel like death warmed over.  Someone PLEASE tell me taking pain meds isn't a big deal?

I've also been studying and researching the different surgeries, and have absolutely no idea what criteria is used to decide what one to have.  I am a total novice with this, and have no idea what is good, bad or other.  I am throwing myself on your mercy, those of you with experience in these things.  I truly have no idea what to expect.  I just know I'm tired of being in pain, I'm tired of NOT being able to walk, or sleep lying down.  I can't even remember what it felt like to be pain-free.  

And this may sound like a crappy reason for wanting to lose weight and have my joints fixed, but I am almost 54 years old, and I am in my last year of college for my Paralegal degree.  I WANT TO WALK ACROSS THAT STAGE AND GET MY DIPLOMA.  It's something I've worked so hard for, and something I'm doing for ME.  Using my walker, or a wheel chair to get it, would be very sad graduation for me.  I just worry I don't have enough time.....

Any and all advice, words of wisdom, or just a friendly post would make my day!

I think I remember you posting a while back. Yes, medicaid will absolutely pay for WLS if you meet the medical criteria, which it sounds like you do. That's how my dad paid for his RNY.  The approval process can be long, so start as soon

Stupid website cut off my reply.  Admittedly it was kind of long, so I'll summarize.  Check out the VSG.  It has the lowest risk of complications and no post op med restrictions after the initial healing period.  Also no malabsorption, so you need fewer supplements.  Average excess weight loss is about 60% five years out. Medicaid does cover it.  RNY patients can't have NSAIDS, and both RNY and DS can affect the absorption of extended release meds.  Good luck.

Thanks so much for the information.  I should be having my face to face meeting with person from Jobs and Family Services really soon.  If I'm not mistaken, I think Ohio has their own Medicaid, but I'm not sure about that.  I just want to get back to a normal life, I would settle for a semi-normal life compared to what I have now.  It takes me all day just to sweep the floors.  My son used to do a lot of the cleaning when he was here, but he left also.

I've had an extra rough time, my son let on a Friday, my husband left on Monday.  Just up and left.  My son lied and said he was going to his sister's, and he never came back, and wont talk to either us.  That has been really hard on me, my son is my youngest, and my only boy, so it hit me hard.  I knew he was preparing to move out, but I didn't expect him to leave and not tell us and then not speak to us.  Needless to say the stress from that has had a not so good affect on me, I've been hurting extra bad.  Hopefully that will all be gone SOON.

I do have another question, but it may belong on another thread, but when you lose weight with surgery, does the lymphedema go away? I have it bad, especially in my left leg, and I wear compression stockings EVERYDAY.  I hate dealing with it, and it's pretty well controlled in my lower leg, but now my thighs have it, the stockings just pushed it UP.  I so hope that I can be "fixed" and not have all this pain anymore.  I am worn out from dealing with it, and I'm sick of taking all the pills I have to take.  I so want to have this done.

Do you lose your hair after the surgery and while losing weight?  I know that is a VERY vain question.  When I've lost weiight in the past I know I would shed a LOT of hair.  But it could have just been a normal thing.  But my hair is  below my butt, and I would REALLY hate to lose it.  It's kind of my security blanket.  I can hide behind it and no one can see my expressions!  I've had long hair almost all my life, but this is by far the longest it's been.  I know, vanity.  With the rest of me so messed up, my hair is about the only thing I have that looks decent!  

Well, I've been extra chatty tonight..  Living alone is OK, but it is lonely at times, and I get on here and bend everyone's ears.

Thanks again for the information, I am really grateful.  I've researched some of the WLS but It's far better to hear the information from someone who KNOWS.

I haven't actually had my surgery yet, but I know several people who have, including my dad, and have been doing my own research as well.  I don't know about the lymphedema, but hair loss is common.  You can reduce it by making sure to eat enough protein and get all your supplements. I'm really concerned about that as well because my hair is two and a half feet long.  I'm actually more concerned about my hair falling out than the loose skin, because I already have bat wings, but my hair looks good now.  Everyone says hair will grow back, but it takes years!

As for your son, I'm sorry to hear he's not talking to you right now.  Maybe you could give him a little cooling off time and then try contacting him again?  When you qualify for disability, you might be able to get a home health aid who can do things around the house for you.  In Washington state, where I live, the state can even reimburse relatives for helping you out through a program called COPES.  I'm not sure if it's available nationwide or just state specific, but your case worker should know. With all the health issues you have they should be expediting your case.

You will only lose your hair, if you don't take in enough protein.  Take in tons of water and protein every meal.  Those and lots of vitamins and minerals will keep you healthy, while you are losing weight.  I'm still in alot of pain from arthritis, but it would be much worse, if I hadn't lost 55 lbs.  50 more to go. 

so you need to lose your weight first. First made your diet proper, and your eating times. this will help you lose weight. i do not have much knowledge about surgery.

Well, for good or bad, I am pretty much a professional dieter!  And had always done it all on my own - but that was before menopause.  Post-menopause, I just look at food and I gain weight.  All my old diet staples don't work.  I always drink a lot of water, no sugar, no wheat, only good carbs, or at least carbs that do not contain bad stuff (sugar, hydrogenated oils, wheat, etc.), I always did a lot of label reading.  I've tried multiple times since  '08, for weeks at a time an the most I ever lost was 9 lbs.  Talk about discouraging.  This is why I'm finally giving in and agreeing to weight loss surgery, if I can get Medicaid.  This is NOT how I envisioned the second half of my life, alone, morbidly obese and mental.......  {insert sarcasm wherever you deem appropriate!}

I have had very good results taking Cymbalta for my severe osteoarthritis for 2+ years. My surgeon approved its continued use after my RNY surgery and it has not caused any issues for me post-op.

I had a hip replacement 5 years ago and now need both shoulder joints replaced. The left shoulder will be done in late fall and the Cymbalta makes the pain manageable until then. The only alternative I had for pain was Vicodin, but I can't work or function adequately during the day if I take it.  Cymbalta keeps me comfortable, but on days when I've stressed the shoulder, I use Voltaren gel, a prescription NSAID that can be used after surgery because it is a gel applied to the skin that does not affect the digestive system.  If I have a really bad day and my pain goes to 8 or 9, I will take a half or a whole Vicodin at night  to ensure I get a restful sleep, but that only happens a couple times a month.

Cymbalta also works well on the depression that many of us with chronic pain experience. I find that with Cymbalta's help on that score, I feel and function much better than I did on a combination of Lexapro for depression and an ADHD med. Don't want to sound like a Cymbalta ad, but I told my doctor I feel 15 years younger and much happier and calmer since I have been taking it.

Please ask your doctor if Cymbalta would be an option for you.  Good luck--it sounds like you are about to turn the corner to a better life!

Yes, my doctor is fine subscribing Cymbalta, it's the money that is stopping me.  Having not worked for over two years, and my husband gone, my meds are almost my biggest expense.  I believe it's supposed to come out in 2014 as a generic, and is already available in generic form in Canadian Pharmacies (found that by accident looking a pretty price than local prices).

Lately, they thing that has totally side-lined me is CFS.  I had not had to battle that for years.  It went into remission after my first knee replacement, and I could not believe how I felt, it was incredible.  But it's back now, worse than before.  I don't know if it's from  the pain, the depression or the issue I had at school earlier in the year that cause a nervous breakdown, OR all of the above.  I remember when I had it before, there wasn't even really anything they gave me just for that.  But I can't make myself do much of anything.  I have zero energy.  By the time evening gets  here, it gets a little better.  I never go shopping until late at night because I just have no energy.  I can't make myself go to class, I just can't.  The lymph edema makes it horrible to get dressed, hard to get in the car.  And that is a variable, it gets better, then gets worse.  I think the hot humid weather here at the moment is making it worse. 

But by far and away the biggest issues right now is the pain, and the CFS, oh, an the Urinary Incontinence.  Hard to ick the winner in this trifecta.