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Thanks for sharing your story.
I just stopped in to see what's happening. I was impressed with what you have written.
For you it's not all rainbows and sunshine. You have to fight your addictions and depression and hopefully you are getting the help you need.
Personally I think we all have "addictive personalities". I know I do. I knew about transfer addictions so I decided before I had surgery I would pick exercise to be my "transfer addiction".
I'm not a drinker and I knew shopping once I was getting thinner could be an addiction so I only shopped at Thrift shops and garage sales.
I also have an Eating Coach. Yes an eating coach. I'm not on a diet and I don't freak out about food. I post mainly on the over fifty forum (OFF) because I connect with people there.
So Brian we don't have a time machine and you can PM me if you want to talk more. You are being honest. Major depression is something not to "pooh-pooh" and I hope you can stop your destructive behavior. You are a worthy person, you deserve to be happy and healthy. This surgery is not about vanity...it's about getting your life back and being healthy.
Yes and more issues crop up with more and more people. I do want to say your not alone.
You are in a deep dark hole right now and hopefully one day you can swim out of it. This isn't about motivation. For you now it's about survival. I want you to survive. If you have to take your life minute by minute then do so. Find a good bariatric support group. Go to OA and AA meetings. There is help out there for you. You have fallen and when we fall...what do we do? We pick ourselves up and move on.
So today, don't look back on your life. Look forward. Take charge and take baby-steps. Love yourself.
Oh and by the way I'm not talking out of the side of my mouth. My body makes adhesion's, had emergency surgery for bowel obstruction. Each time they open me up it makes more adhesion's. I have stomach pain but I'm pushing through that pain and not taking any pain meds, I don't want to become addicted to any drugs. I exercise but not like I use to. I had to compromise and now am working out in the pool and I do spin class, ride my bike and walk. I have to push myself. It's not easy but I do it. I will have to have surgery again but hopefully I can hold off for 5 or more years.
Because I'm not exercising like I use to (I usually did 3 hours a day, not all at once) I went from a size 6/8 to 12/14. I've lost 7 pounds in the last few months, slowly. Again, I'm not on a diet, just practice Mindful Eating and journal...and moving. Take care, you are not alone. Debbiejean
on 6/5/11 1:15 pm
All of those issues are resolved for me, and I traded a buttload of expensive medications, which I take NONE of now, for multi vitamins and calcium. And my blood work is the envy of my 30ish skinny doctor!!! Get real.
I had a similar situation. I was considered healthy, but only because I wasn't dead yet I suppose...
But sadly, the big headline is "alcohol" and not the focus on the root cause of the addiction and other problems. Here is an excerpt from the article:
"The gastric bypass surgery cohort had higher Hazard Ratios (HR) than the restrictive surgery cohort for substance abuse (HR, 3.8), suicide attempt (HR, 4.1), alcohol abuse (HR, 4.0), and depression (HR, 2.4). For the restrictive surgery cohort, these HRs were, respectively, 1.4, 2.4, 1.2, and 1.8, she said."
Gastric Bypass Lap Band % Increase
Substance Abuse 3.8 1.4 2.7
Suicide Attempt 4.1 2.4 1.7
Alcohol Abuse 4.0 1.2 3.3
Depression 2.4 1.8 1.3
I translated this to a table to show, though indeed alcohol abuse is a big problem, there is also a large increase in problems in substance abuse, depression and suicide attempts which are reflections that there is more going on here.
What I've come to discover over the past couple of years is that these “addictions" are likely being caused by malnutrition that is created by nutrient and amino acid deficiency. This causes the brain to act strange and the patient to feel “wrong" or be in a constant state of "un-well-being" or "dis-ease" all the time and need to self medicate. As soon as the drug of choice provides relief (such as alcohol or narcotics) the brain puts 2 and 2 together and comes up with WOW pretty quickly and creates those addictive pathways in the brain FAST! But it could be other behaviors as well - shopping, gambling, sex, eating, exercise, etc. Whatever. But, these problems are not happening at nearly the same rate when the intestines are not bypassed - that is the key.
I figured the answer to getting my life back would be in attempting to compensate as much as possible for what the surgery took away from me, in terms of nutrients. What did the intestines do (the duodenum and jejunum specifically), and how could I compensate for their role now that they were bypassed? Once I was able to renourish my brain and my body, the need to self-medicate disappeared. I slowly returned to my former self.
If you are interested there are some amino acids that can be quite effective in dealing with the symptoms that drive a person to self-medicate. In my case, I felt deficient in endorphins (your body's "joy chemicals") and serotonin (that sense of "ahhh" and "well-being"). I added the amino acid DL-phenylalanine (DLPA) in the morning and afternoon (which boosts the endorphins) - WOW what an improvement and right away - no waiting 4-6 weeks. I added 5-HTP throughout the day to increase serotonin. I also added GABA and Taurine in the evening for relaxation. You can feel a difference with DLPA within 30 minutes and you'll know whether or not it is working for you. I place the GABA under my tongue as the effects are a bit more subtle (think of GABA as natural Valium or Xanax).
These, of course, are not a substitute for overall brain/body nourishment - but they can be effective in that difficult transition stage. You will still forever have to compensate for what you've lost but amping up your absorbable protein (to get a good dose of ALL the amino acids), all the vitamins, minerals, as well as Omega-3 fish oil. Your brain consists of approximately 30% DHA (a major component in fish oil). Also, many of the aminos depend on certain vitamins to work properly, so it really is a package deal.
Another reason I think the aminos are so effective, is that a recent study the surgeons are terribly excited about that explains why this surgery is so effective at "curing" diabetes immediately (even before much weight is lost) and they discovered a huge drop in branched chain amino acids in the blood, which they believe is causing the cure in diabetes - BUT at what side effect? They believe the amino acid drop is caused by protein malabsorption.
I am very empathetic to what you are going through and why you posted - so many have gone through this or are going this now. Also, so many want to hide away, when they are no longer the poster child for success. We need more people sounding this horn.
If you are interested in a sample list of vitamins, doses, amino acids, etc, that I take daily I post it on my blog at:
http://www.itsnotaddictiontransfer.wordpress.com
Good Luck to you! I hope you find something that works for you.
Lisa
FIRST, everyone has a different make-up, physically and mentally. The gastric bypass is not one size fits all. There are all kinds of reasons we got to the extreme weight. But I'm sure that myself included, most of us got to this weight via a mental void. The food filled that void somewhat. And the surgery can cause some remarkable weight loss. However, how you feel on the inside after surgery could be a whole different story.
The psychiatric evaluation before the surgery is a joke. Even with a documented history of minor mental disorders, I easily slipped through the cracks. I knew that people with depression and addictive personalities were not good candidates for the surgery. Three years later, what I thought were minor mental disorders turned out to be much greater. I have Major depression (possibly bi-polar), extreme social anxiety, and compulsive addiction disorder. The gastric bypass changes the physical anatomy, not the mental anatomy. Not the brain. Before the surgery, I also knew that smoking and alcohol was a NO. And the thought didn't even cross my mind. Until last year at 28 yrs old, I was the most straight-edge young guy out there. Never smoked and drank once in a blue moon. I was abhorred by cigarettes, mainly because for years I told my Dad to stop smoking and its at least 25% of the reason he had a heart attack and died at 61. I also had a bad experience in college with drinking which really turned me off from the stuff. Furthermore, when I tried marijuana in college, I had the worst experience of my life- a horrific panic attack that lasted for several hours and made me almost want to go to the ER.
ADDICTION TRANSFER is the name of the game. I'm telling you guys, I was the last person who would've turned to other substances. They really don't tell you enough about Addiction Transfer in their little information sessions. The food was the drug and it won't be anymore once you have surgery. Because the experience of eating won't be nearly as satiating anymore. Hence, people with mental disorders like myself MAY eventually turn to other things to fill in that Void. Last year, I started smoking cigarettes and drank a ton of alcohol. Then, I turned to Weed which got me off the alcohol a little bit but is just about as bad with the Gastric Bypass. Most people out there say, "Just stop doing those things." Its really laughable because they have no idea what they're talking about, unless they've been in the shoes of a person like me. Needless to say, I now suffer from major abdominal pain brought upon by ulcers and unless I stop my current substance lifestyle , the Bariatric surgery team says I may die from ulcer-related major internal problems in the stomach and intestines. I've been to ongoing therapy and through a whole host of anti-depressants- I am skeptically optimistic that these things will help me, just because for years, they haven't.
Again, I stress that this post is NOT for everyone. I have talked to so many people who've had the surgery and many experiences are fabulous success stories! But, from what I realize now, I personally would not have had this surgery if I could take a time machine back. And a person like me with major depression and compulsive addiction disorder should really do some research on addiction transfer or feel free to send me a message. Please don't potentially ruin your life like I did.
Westchester's Post-Op Support Group meets Wednesday
May 25th @ 6:00 PM
White Plains HS
550 North Street
White Plains, NY
Room G-122
RSVP if you need more info.
Let me know if you get a revision! I wish to God I could have had the DS instead. I heard it was a better solution to those with PCOS like I have.
Paula
