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Thank you for taking the time to reply. I DO know how you feel and I even have the same mindset. My current PCP HAS given up on me despite the fact that it was her idea to "save my life" but my choice to follow through. I have often said that if I ever have the chance to choose between life and death again I'm taking death. I'm sorry to hear about your situation. but it's as though we've become invisible and yet still seen as a medical mystery.
I had a recent visit with my PCP and I told her how I felt, especially before surgery when I would get so sick and testing showed nothing to be wrong and she became content. I told her that for all of these years I was forced to feel like all of my illnesses were in my head, psychosomatic, and she confessed then that I am actually sick. In my head I was yelling at her--WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY THIS TO BEGIN WITH INSTEAD OF MAKING ME FEEL LIKE ALL OF MY ILLNESSES WERE PRIMARILY OBESITY RELATED OR ALL IN MY HEAD. I still fight with the medical community and I know I'll probably never win but as long as I'm still living I'll continue to rant and rave and anything else to get my point across about how I was neglected as an obese patient and now as a post-op bariatric patient.
I have been looking for clinical trials and things of that nature with very little success. My recent labs show that now my kidneys are beginning to slow down. I'm not frightened or too concerned with it because I'm tired. I feel as though I'm practically useless now as a living being, weight loss surgery may have given me a longer life but it sneakily robbed me of my short lived livelihood, something I was promised and wasn't given permanently.
I spoke to a Social Security Administration judge and was told that I had basically traded one set of health problems for another. That's shrewd and heartbreaking; I had so many dreams...so many that will never be carried out as I had hoped. People like you and I have God and each other, that's about it. I will continue to pray for you and myself perhaps God will one day have more mercy on us.
Take care!
I also have been dealing with multiple health problems since my surgery in 2009. I lost weight and felt like doodoo...even tho most of the health issues I had prior to surgery were gone, many more came to replace them. I am at the same place you seem to be, wishing I weren't in constant agony, often wishing for a "dirt nap". It's as if after a while the medical community decided I was too difficult a case and wrote me off...nothing for pain, no response to my pleas for home health or some type of assistance at home (it is at a point where I am not able to dress myself etc). Where can we go from here? I pray often and it has made a difference, but the question remains why does this happen? Is there a corelation to the WLS? Who can we turn to when drs give up on us?
Videoman23, I am so sorry you are feeling so poorly. I had my surgery 13 years ago. It DOES get better. Be HONEST no matter what w/your surgeon. That is the only way he can help you. I had a very difficult post-op road to follow. I did not do well at all w/the protein drinks, threw up constantly, etc. I finally had to admit after 6 weeks of surgery that I needed help and was admitted to the hospital to get help w/eating/drinking enough to keep me alive! I was in a very grave condition. I even told my surgeon I wanted it reversed. The next day I told him I didn't want it reversed because I thought long and hard. I decided I went through extensive prep to get here, the surgery, etc, and I had to fight for my life on the other side of surgery. This is what I desperately wanted. I needed to hang in there and TRUST my surgical team that they were there for me and would not let me down. I had all of my cards out on the table with them. The bottom line is, I am more than 165 pounds lighter 13 years later and have maintained it for all of these years. It is possible and you can do it. Take one step at a time. If you need to break it down to one minute at a time do that. If you are in fear for your life, immediately call 911 or your MD and seek help. I promise, it will get better. I have been in your place and you will make it. Trust and have faith in yourself and your team.
I am considering a reversal. I really think i have to do it. I dont want to go back to being 300lbs again but which is worse, the way i feel now or gaining weight?
Have you considered a reversal?
SAABABY!
Before my surgery I knew I had an addictive personality. During the times I was able to control the food my spending and other negative behaviors would swing out of control. About 6 years ago I invested time in therapy and also joined a 12-step program to deal with my compulsive overeating. Did it magically make me skinny? No, but it gave me some great tools for how to live life and how to be accountable for my behavior. Periodic therapy visits and regular attendance at OA are critical to the success I'm having now. I'm really glad I had these things in place before surgery...otherwise I could easily be in your shoes, Brian.
If 12-step programs don't seem like a good fit for you (the spirituality component freaks some people out), then please look for programs like Rational Recovery or go to www.soverrecovery.com and do research on a program that sounds appealing. You will appreciate the support and the new view of life it will give you.
Wishing you the best...
Tracy
Tracy 5'3" HW: 235 SW: 218 CW: 132 M1: -22 M2: -13 M3: -12 M4: -9 M5: -8 M6: -10 M7: -4
Goal reached in 7 months and 1 week!
Lower Body Lift w/Dr. Barnthouse 7-8-15
Hi there - I'm only 5 weeks out and had some of the same issues as you. Part of it came from trying to advance my diet too fast and eating too big of bites (as small as you think your bites are, cut them in half). I also thought I was experiencing "hunger" and found out it was mostly the acid in my stomach. Who knew? I'd never experienced it before but evidently you can have silent heartburn (no burning in the chest) for years and not know it. And it masks itself as "hunger", that growling kind of hunger. I had to really back off hard proteins. Antacids and Zantac have really helped me too; so has pushing my fluid uptake to 80 oz. per day (this includes shakes). That said, if I go too long without a meal I can feel some hunger but nothing like I used to get.
If your stomach swells and burns every time you go walking then slowing down is great advice. You might be swallowing a lot of air as you breathe and that will affect your tummy. Still walk, just don't go as far or as fast. And breath through your nose - I know it sounds silly but it helped me.
Everyone's recovery is a personal journey. I will pray that yours gets easier!
Tracy
Tracy 5'3" HW: 235 SW: 218 CW: 132 M1: -22 M2: -13 M3: -12 M4: -9 M5: -8 M6: -10 M7: -4
Goal reached in 7 months and 1 week!
Lower Body Lift w/Dr. Barnthouse 7-8-15
Hi all,
I just want to get some feedback and have some accountability. I had my RNY in April 2006. I lost 180 lbs in the next 8 months. My starting weight was 483. Slowly but surely, I've gained back half the weight I lost. I also ended up with some pretty significant nutritional deficiencies. These made it difficult to move around and even be able to function normally let alone lose any weight. Going to the Dr. is a joke. Even my hematologist doesn't really "get" RNY and the effects that it has on the body. My husband and I desperately want to have another child. Nutritional deficiencies are messing that up as well. I have a friend who told me about a product she used. It is called Shakeology. It is like nutrient overkill. I wouldn't say its a protein shake but it does have protein in it. But that hasn't really been my problem. I NEED NUTRIENTS. So I'm going to try it out for 30 days and let you all know how it goes. If I lose some weight that would be great but I know I need to supercharge my nutrition to get the scale moving in the right direction. I need your support. Most others don't know the shame I feel and the pain I go through. Iknow this surgery probably saved my life but I don't feel ike I'm necesssarily living just yet. Thanks in advance.
I had RnY in January '05. My high weight was 320, I was 250 on surgery day, and my lowest weight post op was 180. I'm now 210 and not happy whatsoever being over 200 again. I can still only eat small portions, 1/2 of a sandwich, open faced so only 1/2 of a slice of bread, so I know I haven't stretched too much.
I know my issue is sugar. I was hoping to have the sugar intolerance they said I'd have before the surgery was done, and I should have never tested it.
i did Atkins for 2 weeks and dropped 11 pounds then took a 2 day break...no breaks this time!
goal: 30 pounds regained to be gone then to lose the 20 I never lost and get to 160.
How are you feeling today? I do hope you were able to go to a counselor because it sounds like you are dealing with depression caused by making a life altering decision. Similar to what many women go through after childbirth. The restrictions are much harder in the beginning and soon enough you will be able to eat almost normally. I know it doesn't seem that way now. You didn't put yourself first before surgery, but you need to collect yourself and do that now. I never regretted having the surgery, but one thing I can tell you is that I didn't realize what I was missing out on being heavy. I can go on an airplane without asking for a seatbelt extender. I can ride any rollercoaster I want to. I can run... me!!! the kid who couldn't make it around the gym and almost keep up with my boyfriend's 10 y.o. daughter. I can climb a flight of stairs without being winded. I didn't even realize that I couldn't do those things before. I hope were just having jitters and feel better now, but do seek help. You are not alone. Another place to talk to people who've had surgery is www.sparkpeople.com. There are online support groups there for gastric bypass patients.
