I can so relate to what you said in this post - I hate my new body, I find myself wearing my "fat" clothes as I feel better in them, my pants fall down, but when I was fat I was happy and I knew who I was, I hate it when people comment on my weight loss and people look at me, to anyone who didn't know me before surgery I just look like an ordinary person, but to all of those who knew me before it is hard for them to understand.  Even my son thinks I took the easy way out by getting this surgery, and that has hurt my heart.  Nothing about this surgery has been easy for me and I am 9 months out and still having problems.  There is not enough support for post op or even pre-op and there is not enough studies being done on the way this surgery effects your heart and your head.  I wish you all the best and share your pain, laughter and tears with you.

Post Date: 1/29/08 8:03 pm
Hi, I am having to have my proceedure reversed. Should happen within the next 2 or 3 weeks. I can not gain any weight and contnue to lose. I pass out alot, have no energy look bad and feel bad all the time. I am eating everything as told and trying to eat more but my stomach is still only 8 oz's after almost 2 yr's. I am scared of dying and now I'm even more so with the risks of having this done.But, it is for my health to do it, just as it was to have it done the first time. If anyone has gone through this, PLEASE let me know. I can't even sit against anything without a pillow behind my back, there is no meat on my spine, my bone's are going, I am having to have a surgery on my knee. I can't even lay on my side's without a pillow between my knee's or the bone's hurt my legs and leave brusies.My hair used to be half way down my back and now it is barely to my shoulder's. Dr Huse is a great doctor, he said it is just the way my body is dealing with it.I hope all I have learnt will get me through this after wards.I would look and feel good at 220, I just want to feel better. For everyone having surgery, good luck and don't let my story discourage you, everyone is differant !

SoniaB: Hello, welcome and thank you for the topic. WLS is a very personal decision. Making the best-educated and informed decision is recommended for long-term success and happiness. Doing it because someone feels pushed or for others typically results in unhappiness and self sabotage in the long run in my experience. Doing this for YOURSELF and feeling 100% confident in that is helpful. As for factors such as moral/spiritual how we view that is also individual. We can choose to se that as a barrier or as a support. Meaning we can allow it to be a barrier when we view it as altering god's creation or as a support that bariatric surgeons are God's 'plumbers' to fix what is no longer serving us well. Letting go of judgment and blame and shame in this that Obesity is not a character flaw, it is a disease with a multitude of factors and the solution needs multifactor support. Meaning no surgery or diet or exercise plan or pill will fix it. We can lose wt and gain health with diet and exercise and lifestyle changes or we can lose wt and gain health with WLS and diet and exercise and lifestyle factors. The surgery is ineffective without using the tool properly. It is a failed diet attempt to many who see it as a magic thing and change nothing after sadly. Many take years to decide when it is right and some never decide. That is okay. Being emotionally in the best spot is quite helpful as well. As for US doctors and kickbacks from pharmaceutical companies I am sure it is happening but not as it once was PHARMA has changed and there are many federal regulations now (I can attest as I am a prescribing nurse Practitioner) but that is off topic to your real issue here I won't get off on that soapbox. :-)

 

Regrets in my mind are again a personal decision we can look at each moment as an opportunity to grow, learn that there are NO MISTAKES only lessons. I believe we will have the opportunity to learn until we do. Meaning the issue will come again and again presenting itself. Regrets only happen when we remain in the victim mentality and are filled with shame and judgment. It is not easy to reframe things but it is possible. It sounds as if you are feeling so alone and isolated with your decision and obesity. You have noticed or feel you are alone without help. Consider seeking support of those who are able to give you that, sometimes we unconsciously are not receptive to help and are not aware because we feel less than or not good enough or worthy of it. Sometimes we only can count on ourselves and that reality we can be angry about or embrace. Of course we always have our higher power (GOD) if we choose to let him in.  Many have WLS and believe it will fix everything sadly they are thinner and just as unhappy because it truly is not all about being overwt. Our problems and issues are still there 10# thinner! Then we don't have our wt to blame our bad marriage, job, friendship, financial issues, etc on and start emotionally eating again perhaps.... This will be long but this is what I have sent to many people considering WLS. First a few quotes that help me: "I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be." – Groucho Marx"We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same." – Carlos Castaneda"The art of living lies less in eliminating our troubles than in growing with them." – Bernard Baruch ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

To assist in finding inner peace with your decision to have WLS consider YOUR CHOICE reflects the responsible, powerful masterful spirit that you are and you're ready to start creating miracles in your life. Taking some time to meditate, journal, pray, use positive affirmations http://www.dailyinspiringquotes.com or http://www.nawls.com/public/department27.cfm or here http://www.unityonline.org/pray_prayersaffirmations.htm  etc on your decision. Writing all the reasons why this is your choice, what your expectations and goals are (*consider those beyond wt loss itself), what you are fearful of.

 

 

 

Those that have goals that are health focused and functionally focused do the best (vs. those that are scale or weight/number focused). I am such a firm believer in not allowing the scale (or hunkametal that it is) to rule or dictate ones life/thoughts/feelings any longer, I agree we want to lose wt but gaining our health and ability to function in life are far more important than any number the scale can read; otherwise if it never reads the number we think, others say, a chart suggests we fail and that is simply not true!!!

 

 

 

As I have said before in other forums: Most of our lives we have set RIGID, UNREALISTIC WEIGHT LOSS GOALS for ourselves that are BOTH UNATTAINABLE and CHRONICALLY DISAPPOINTING and lead to DEVASTATION & the slippery slope of self-sabotage...Review the UNDERLYING lifestyle change such as exercise, food choices, self-awareness/monitoring, avoidance of emotional eating, adherence to living self responsibly in a CONSISTENT way that is the foundation to our long-term success. For me I keep telling myself daily that***THE GOAL SHOULD NEVER BE A NUMBER***

 

 

 

Consider that happiness and success will NEVER EVER come from an external source (person, object, number on the scale). It can and will ONLY come from internal self-discovery and love. Listening to my BODY/Mind/Spirit/Heart now and though your journey can be most helpful. Many times we are so busy or do not find the 'me' time needed to really connect internally w/ ourselves. Anxiety is just fear in disguise, ask yourself what are you fearful of? The changes you will go through physically/emotionally/relationship wise, pain, dying, complications, loss of food, fear of failure? Write about them, get them out of your head, feel them....

 

 

 

The goals you write today and reasons may help now as well as down the road when a complication or stressor or plateau happens, it can re-center you within your self, helping you refocus on the big picture and choice you made, well aware of a few bumps in the road. Deciding to have surgery, being as well informed and educated as possible, having supports (in person groups, online, friends and family) to talk to, to normalize and validate ourselves and journey is a key as well.

 

 

 

ONLY you know if this is the right thing at the right time for you, anxiety/fear is common and normal, consider embracing the feelings, they are only that feelings they have a beginning/middle/end and serve us well if we listen vs avoid/repress/stuff them. See this opportunity as one where you can grow. I was motivated but scared as well of dying..a hard decision but one I do not regret making....

 

 

 

I recommend you consider trying to fill your mind with as much optimism and positive thinking as possible! Basically, become more conscious of what you are thinking and feeling, and start preparing yourself to think of food and your life in a different way. This is a courageous step for you to take, and it's not just about weight changing -- it's about

 

life changing. This is why so many of us are challenged by the enormity of the decision.

 

 

 

http://www.livingafterwls.com/Library.html  this site has many good articles for preop/postop! Check it out periodically many good topics!!!

 

 

 

Maybe use positive thinking such as:

 

“I AM COMMITTED TO FACE AND RESOLVE THE PROBLEMS OF LIVING” (i.e. no longer be morbidly obese)

 

 

 

“MY SUCCESS DEPENDS UPON MY CHOICES AND MY BEHAVIOR IN THE PRESENT” (i.e. having the surgery, committing to a healthy lifestyle)

 

 

 

“ALTHOUGH I MAY NOT HAVE TOTAL CONTROL OVER WHAT HAPPENS IN MY LIFE, I CAN ALWAYS CONTROL MYSELF AND HOW I RESPOND TO WHAT HAPPENS” (i.e. complications but how I manage them if they happen is up to me).

 

 

 

THIS EMPOWERS YOU NO MATTER WHAT LIFE BRINGS!!!

 

 

 

YES THIS IS NOT THE EASY WAY OUT! It takes extraordinary courage to make the decision and live w/ the choices we make to consciously limit food choices for the rest of our lives (and potentially limit social opportunities built around meals) among all the other potential complications it can bring short or long-term....

 

 

 

There will be plenty of opportunities to grow/change in life as it can be one stressor/problem after another but deciding to keep on keeping on will always help!  I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers! You are a warrior and worthy of this opportunity to change your life...Be well.

 

 PS I will leave you with the Serenity Prayer! *I am taking by your original post this/prayer will not be offensive...

 

"God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and wisdom to know the difference."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Deciding to have WLS is a major, life-changing event and shouldn't be made on impulse (I am not saying this is you I am saying this for anyone thinking about it!). I recommend anyone be 110% sure this is what you want to do because it is PERMANENT!

 

Things to think about:

 

·           How long have you been researching WLS?**Hopefully at least a good 6 months or so****for many it is years!

 

·           Do you understand the procedure, I mean really understand the nitty gritty of what they are going to do to your intestinal system! Not just it will help me lose weight but *for instance w/ the Roux-En-Y gastric bypass* that they are going to cut your stomach in 2,make a small pouch, the old stomach hopefully is transected from pouch by staples and surgically cut in 2! Then the intestines are cut a few feet or so down and rerouted so you lose weight because the tummy is restrictive and bypassing the intestines decreases absorption....Know the risks involved with this!!!***(Nutritional/metabolic/physical/psychosocial): ex B12 and vitamin deficiencies/protein deficiency/hernia/adhesions, risk of depression post op related to grief over loss of food and hormonal surge of estrogen/trauma of surgery, marital/relational difficulties/high divorce rate)...

 

·           Surgical risks: (not all inclusive..

 

~Bleeding, ~Complications due to anesthesia and medications, ~Deep vein thrombosis/clots, ~Wound Dehiscence, ~Infections, ~Pulmonary problems, ~Spleen/Liver injury, ~Stenosis of new connections (stricture), ~Hernia, ~Death.

 

·            Depression possibly related to grieving the loss of food, decreased metabolism, and hormonal surges from estrogen being released into the body from rapid wt loss/fat breakdown....

 

·            Gallstones....need for 2nd surgery to remove this.

 

·           Long-term osteoporosis (metabolic  bone disease), severe vitamin./mineral deficiencies

 

·           Hair loss (temporary due to anesthesia, trauma of surgery but will continue if you are protien/vit and mineral deficient!)

 

·           Food intolerances (possibly meats, esp. red meat, lactose intolerance, sugar, fats, fried food)

 

·            Dumping syndrome (Nausea/vomiting/diarrhea/chestpain/palatations/sweating/tiredness for minutes/hours/days) *when eating highly concentrated fats or sugars (a desired behavioral response that ~ 50% of post-ops get)

 

·            EXCESS SKIN....OK my philosophy is you fit in your skin or you don't...Do say you don't want to feel bad after, ask yourself do you feel bad now? If yes are you healthy now as a MO person? Yeah many insurance companies pay for some plastic surgeries if medically necessary it may be a fight, but you can get some of it removed possibly....If though this will deter you I say the chances are great you will have some amount of excess skin, no one knows how much...Age, gender, prior diet/weight changes, pregnancies all affect this and the best chance on has to control this is (although limited) exercise, water and protein....So if this is a huge issue don't have surgery.......Excess skin may be by far the most distressing side-effect for people as we already come with altered self-esteem/body image!!!

 

·           What type of research have you done? (Internet, in-person support group meetings, talking with others who have had surgery, surgeon consult, surgeon seminar, articles, books?????)***Knowledge is power and is the best tool we have for success and happiness afterwards****

 

·           What are your present support systems? Friends, Family, co-workers.....**Although not 100% necessary if others are on board it sure as heck makes the ride all that much easier!!!***

 

·           What are your current stressors? ***WLS is a time when you need to be as stable as possible, going through a divorce, bankruptcy, death of a close relative, job loss...well WLS may be a good option but pick the optimal time as it is stressful enough if everything is good, when you are going through something extra stressful you are hampering your success possibly and not having the old standby of food to rely on can be HELL!***This is not to say there ever is a right time and things can happen post-op but be kind to yourself and do what’s best for you, waiting 3 months may make all the difference in the world! After all this is about forever!!!

 

·           What is your nutritional/obesity/diet history?***WLS is not for everyone, it is for the Morbidly obese (BMI above 40 or 35 with major comorbdities such as sleep apnea, Coronary disease, Diabetes....)This should be no ones first attempt at dieting (*I know this is not yours again just general guidelines)...Anyone who says this is the easy way out, KNOWS NOTHING about the surgery or the struggles you will endure and lifestyle changes necessary post-op for success! They are usually ignorant, jealous or both! Again your education and knowledge here goes a long way...Everyone seems to know someone who 'died' or had a 'terrible experience' with WLS...BUT no one seems to have a name or number to call that person!!! It is again based on hearsay a lot of the time and their own fears and insecurities...You are doing this for you remember that, it is nice to have support, so educate friends and family, bring them to a support group!!! It can only help! Many programs require wt loss preop...I know many people disagree with this or don’t understand why..IMHO I think it is a generally good idea to start instilling dietary, exercise and overall lifestyle changes preop, there is nothing magical about the surgery that makes u wake up and think like a thin person (*I WISH!!!!) So making small changes are helpful pre-op...EXERCISE is one of the biggest keys to success (IMHO again) and anything you can do preop will help you keep up with this and be healthier for surgery!! (and a better surgical risk!)...Start eating smaller portions, it is hard if you go from eating super sized fast food today to clear liquids for 2 weeks (*this is my equivalent of psychological hell/torture!!!) Start slowing down when you eat, put that fork down in-between bites, cut up your food to small pieces, stop drinking and eating at the same time (cant do it or shouldn’t postop so start now!) Start taking in 64 ounces of fluid a day if u aren't already, will need to postop! Cut out carbonation, caffeine, sugar, alcohol and chocolate (these are 5 recommended things to avoid postop for many esp. in the first year) again make postop life easier on yourself not harder start ahead!!!!Try on new coping skills for size, they wont miraculously appear postop! Stock the house with clear liquids, crystal lite, diet kool-aid, broth, diet jello etc so u are ready when u get home!!!!Try and avoid the 'last supper syndrome' you will eat most everything again eventually, perhaps in smaller quantities, so don’t have a feast each night of things u think u will never have again!

 

·           Ask yourself: What is my ability to make lifestyle changes? Be compliant with post-op recommendations???

 

This is only a tool....(*sorry can't say that enough!)....

 

a.         Need to exercise nearly daily for health/wt loss and help with excess skin

 

b.         Need to supplement with B12, multivitamin, folate, Iron, Zinc, Calcium citrate, protein shakes possibly give or take things.

 

c.         Need for LIFELONG FOLLOW UP!!!! If you’re not taking care of self now you MUST postop or you may trade far worse illnesses for the Morbid obesity you have  now malnutrition and vit/mineral def can be permanent and irreversible!

 

·           Know that extended release medications may not be as effective or absorbed well (**esp. birth control pills in woman of childbearing age use alternative form of BC)

 

I could probably ramble on all day about this..I hope some of this helps you! Any specific ? email us or me offline! Take care and good luck it is an awesome journey!! *not perfect and a positive attitude helps!

 

DO this for you and only you!!!!Start journaling now www.obesityhelp.com is a great site, start your own profile there! Also if you haven’t seen this document (pouch rules) print and read! A good basic guide to things that will help you use the tool and be successful as possible (*for most of us!!!)

 

http://www.digitalhorsewoman.com/pouchrules.htm

 

 

 

What is agreed on is careful screening medically, surgically, nutritionally as well as emotionally/psychologically. Eating disorders need to be looked at, esp. compulsive eating/emotional eting. A good aftercare plan is key, having a multidisciplinary team to follow you (Good PCP, Surgeon, Nutritionist, therapist, support group) are all factors shown in research to lead a person to the best outcome/wt. loss possible.

 

 

 

How To Choose A Bariatric Surgeon

 

http://www.beyondchange-obesity.com/medicalMatters/howToChooseASurgeon.html

 

 

 

When you're looking for a Bariatric surgeon/points to ponder:

 

http://www.amylhwilliams.com/questionsforsurgeon.html good link also

 

Education is a tremendously important part of the preoperative process & there is no question that there are major risks associated with the operation. However, those risks can be minimized by having a thorough preoperative workup so there aren't surprises during the procedure, and by making sure the surgeon is experienced and qualified. This is a courageous step for people to take, and it's not just about weight changing -- it's about life changing. SO take your time, find the right surgeon/surgical program for you for your life and your health and success long-term! WLS is a decision many of us make, but should not be made impulsively (*the average time one thinks about and has WLS is 2 yrs!) as we as MO people can feel quite desperate and see this as a last resort and can sometimes go with whoever is telling us they will perform, that may not be in our best interest!

 

Ask him all these questions or any others think of or you think of, if HE isn't right, find someone who is! After all you’re putting your life in his hands and needing someone to care for you for life!!! Be an educated consumer of your own health! HUGS! ____________________________

 

The single BEST piece of advice I can offer being 5+ yrs out is this to anyone:

 

***Disclaimer some may consider this a no-brainer, others a downer, some a new view, psychobabble, whatever thought it is just my opinion, so take it for what it is worth, and it is meant to be helpful/insightful and thought provoking at a time so many of us are caught up with the right vitamin to take, amount of water to drink, etc.. it is meant to challenge beyond those tasks to see the small stuff matters but that there is a larger and more global view as well to consider!!!***

 

 

 

Establish your mindset to accept that weight loss surgery is not a cure/quick fix for morbid obesity, it's a very effective/powerful/wonderful tool that can be used lifelong to combat the chronic/lifelong disease of morbid obesity that has NO *current* CURE (*So at 1 yr out when many say 100# gone forever I sometimes shudder, it is never gone forever it is gone for now but the work has just started at 1 yr out IMHO). The tool is flawed and can be defeated as well (emotional eating, grazing, drinking calories, eating/drinking together, alcohol use, high calorie dense foods, too many simple carbs, overfilling pouch, carbonation, no consistent exercise routine). Considered WLS as part of a life-long process & commitment to challenge your personal awareness/responsibility/consistency/accountability and that a life-long requirement to follow up with physicians, a regular exercise program, and healthy eating. Accept it will come w/ potential challenges & imperfections (risks, side-effects, complications, challenges such as plateaus, not meeting goal, regain, possible depression, grief over the loss/safety of food/obesity may of offered/invisibility it offered although may of been unwanted at the time/the new attention you get, possible anger or anxiety w/o comfort of food as it used to be/limits it may impose, effort it requires to be healthy etc.) that these frustrations are part of the process to make you healthier see them as challenges not difficulties, positive self talk helps!. Your mindset will be the most important tool for success, as all the challenges of traditional diets/exercise plans for health will be present after WLS as well *Yup so many say I will never diet again, well let me say diets don't work *because people go off them* correct but you will have to be mindful of food and pay attention to intake and exercise for life, so in a sense your dieting for life! Even after WLS.... The surgery won't make a person change, but the beauty is YOU HAVE COMPLETE control over those changes/choices needed after surgery for success, the choices are there and the best use of the mind/psychology will harness those. Surgery is such a drastic choice that so many are successful due to a recommitment to healthy living and choices that is one reason it works and we say it is a 'rebirth'.

 

 

 

Changing habits pre -wls is the mindset that will keep you going, the surgery is a piece, the easiest/smallest IMHO. *It is however the milestone/landmark we set to focuses on. But truly the afterlife is the most challenging, the ever evolving challenges from things like getting in enough liquids to food introduction to vitamin taking, new ways of eating/drinking, introduction of exercise consistently to battling with the scale obsessions & disappointments as well as all the wonderful WOW moments. Have the support system needed to create the healthiest environment as well, willpower fades, the tools robust effects fades as well as the honeymoon closes...Harness your enthusiasm and mind for 6 months doing all you can to influence (not only wt loss) but the healthy lifestyle you want to adopt for maintenance, that elusive animal no one has mastered pre-wls. Exercise can become more routine after 6 months as well. Again the mind is just as/more useful than the pouch...it is the operator of the tool! Stress inevitable, so see each issue/stressful time as an opportunity to use your new tool/mindset! (Like I say use things as excuses or opportunities because holidays come and go each year as do parties, office food/celebrations, hurt feelings, sadness, losses, etc)

 

 

 

I know this isn't one message it is a million crammed into one right! Anyone who knows me knows I am never brief, this is my PASSION (giving back), WLS saved me from myself. It isn't easy or fair, but accepting life is imperfect just as the world we live in, embracing that imperfection and controlling what I can has helped me get thru many issues. There is no perfection, I work on that daily. So what to do about all of this babble?

 

 

 

Get a good journal, start writing today all the reasons you are COMMITTED to this change, what your expectations are (hopefully realistic for wt loss 50-80% of excess not an ideal body wt) and that the goals are not wt related alone, the functional ones how you can integrate into life easier, (clothes fitting, less medical co morbidities or risk of, less meds, less pain (physical/emotional) the benchmarks you are setting, take measurements and photos each month along w/ weights to document the journey. the mind is powerful but may be challenging to change so the photos/measurements help when the HUNKAMETAL doesn't register a loss. We are much more than a number on a scale, free from the numbers and see how much you are more than that as a person, your abilities etc....The journey is full of hills and valleys, some bumps and many more pleasures to see, it can be an awesome ADVENTURE!

 

 

 

The letter you may write/journal entry today may save you from backsliding at your first plateau or at 1 yr out, a recommitment to those thoughts, and how you have grown over time. These are the things I recommend. I think everyone else has you covered w/ the 'physical items you need'. These are the ever-elusive psychological things you need LOL!

 

OK if you have read this far thanks for hearing me out! I wish you well.

 

  Feel free to email me off list if you want info on anything! [email protected]

 

Take Care,

 

Jamie Ellis RN MS NPP

 

Lap RNY 10/9/02 Dr. Singh

 

320 preop/163 lowest/186 current 5'9'' (lost 45# before surgery)

 

Plastics 6/9/04 & 11/11/2005  Dr. King

 

http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/members/profile.php?N=c1132518510

 

"Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections!"

 

I appreciate your post, but I always get annoyed when I find "no regret posts" on this board....This is perhaps the only place where a person who has regrets can post without getting flamed or second guessed.. I suffered from a long recovery period and felt very isolated and depressed during my first 7  months, and even at support group, every time I mentioned how I was feeling, people would try to invalidate my feelings.... Four years have passed since my surgery, and given the same set of cir****tances, I would do this all again....I just would hope that people would be more willing to accept that some of us do feel regret and need a safe place to express it....

VSG and VGB are two different procedures! VSG is where the stretched out part of the stomach is removed leaving a banana shaped 'tube' behind.  Many have been very sucessful with it!