I confess...

Thanksgiving was bittersweet for me... The good news I could eat.... last year I was on clear liquids THe bad news I could eat... I ended up in bed feeling like ka ka cause I just didn't stop eating... thank god you can only eat so much!!! I guess it was just so radically different from every other thanksgiving... old habits die hard! But guess what Christmas is coming!!! Damn....how to focus on getting enough of the right things, minimize the bad stuff and still feel good!! I also confess that since surgery for the most part I have felt like crap - my doc has me on some new meds and some new iron supplements which seem to be doing a little better but I gotta tell you, inside I am scared that I have a lifetime of feeling like this ahead of me. I am tired of being in pain, tired of being tired, and feeling like I can't ***** about this to anyone since it was my choice... Now, don't get me wrong, I move around better... its nice to be down to a size 16-18...but am I condemmed to a lifetime of always feeling like I am playing catch-up to life!!!??? Most weekends I come home and really don't care if I come out at all again until MOnday am when I have to go to work - everyone talks about how wonderful they feel -- truth is I am barely making it... and I have to make a living so I keep quiet about it,,, suck it up and keep going. Christmas has me scared!!! So many rituals and feelings that have to do with food... and so much that really isn't that great - nutrition wise that is... there is never a social occasion this time of year that doesn't revolve around food in some way???!!!!! What are you guys doing??? Is anyone else worried about this??? Now I have passed my year... and quite possibly have finished losing what I will lose??? but am wondering whether I have traded feeling like crap in one way for feeling like crap for a lifetime??? B

Girl, I feel your pain! I am only 9 weeks out, but haven't felt good since I woke up from surgery. There is nothing physically wrong with the surgery, it went as expected. I just have this feeling of not feeling good and I hate it. I have asked myself and my husband so many times, is this the way I'm going to be the rest of my life? Of course my husband says it'll get better, my question is when? I should have all this renewed energy and feel like doing things. All I want to do is lay in bed, luckily I'm a stay at home Mom so I don't have to go anywhere if I don't want to. Before surgery I was on the go all the time, now I'm lucky if I get out once a week. I have traded one problem for another, eating too much for not getting enough to eat. I know that is the reason I feel so bad, but geez I can't eat the amount I'm supposed too each day. I can't get in the protein or water. I struggle every day with it. My sister had the surgery a year ago and is feeling great. She is so glad she did it. I on the other hand would love to go back 9 weeks ago and say forget it I changed my mind. It's not worth it! I do believe it is a life saving "gift" for some people. And there are some of us who just don't do well with it. Anyways, hope you get better with your new meds.

I was just talking about this with one of my coworkers who asked me to talk with WLS surgery with her last week. I am almost 3 years out, and trust me, one day you will be able to say, OMG I made it through and don't I feel and look great! You may still have medical conditions that effect your energy level no matter how much weight you lose. My weight came off slow, I was really scared a year out when I had only lost 50lbs. But I went and saw a weight loss specialist again and he realized one of the meds I was on actually caused weight gain! He also referred me to a doctor who finally diagnosed me with sub-clinical hypothyroidism and put me on thyroid supplement. That was the root of a lot of my problems. I was only on the thyroid supplement and off the other med that made me gain weight for about a month when things totally turned around. I started working out again because I had the energy and the weight just dropped off. I'm 4 lbs away from my goal, which I am perfectly happy with, and I have so much energy that I would never have guessed I could have the first year after surgery. I also totally understand the food and family ritual thing. I was always the small one in my family, even at 240lbs. I guess it has been easier for me though since I had moved away from my family for work just before surgery. But now my fiance's family is big into food, though they are blessed with thin genes...but I prepare myself all week when I know we have to have dinner with them on the weekends. I count my calories, and the day of the event, I eat very little for breakfast/lunch, like 300 calories between both meals, and cut the corners when the big meal comes. For example, I just use a drop of gravy for taste, load up on whatever veggies (bu****ch those potatoes), try to stick with white meat turkey, avoid the butter, and try not to feel guilty because I was very good all week! I hope this helps? It will get better, I promise. But remember, being obese took a toll on your body before the surgery, it will take some time for it to heal from the hardship it was under Blessings! Stephanie

Well here I am 10 1/2 weeks out and I have to say that I am feeling much better about having the surgery. There are days that I still wish I hadn't done it, but for the most part I'm glad I did. I survived Christmas dinner with my family last night and really enjoyed myself. I wasn't stuffed like everyone else. I also have 2 sisters who are going through this with me, one is banded and one was bypassed like me. Having them there really helped me get through Christmas dinner. Life is getting better and by this time next year I really hope I am a lot smaller than I am now. I have been cheating more the last couple of days and have found that I don't get sick from sweets. Not a good thing, but glad I was able to at least try some of the desserts. I have a little more willpower now than I did before. So that's a good thing!

The biggest help for me my friends. They know when we get together I am bring something low fat and sugar free. Also if you had any emotional problems before surgery they don't go away. Talk to someone see a therapist. There is no shame in this. You have to live a very disciplined life. Get a cookbook for bariatric patients or Diabetics and start thinking about eating flavor instead of consuming food. Take the right vitamins, and exercise (it will not only help with the weight it releases endorphins which make you feel good). Watch a good girl movie that makes you cry. I hope you are doing well soon and I encourage you to email me it you would like. What do you love to do? Start doing it. I never had a problem wanting to stuff my face but I love food the different flavors and exotic flavors. I still love food and love cooking. Now I experiment with making what I love healthy. [email protected]