OT: I need your opinion!

My cousins talked me into going to have a drink last Monday. I didn't want to but I did. I had water and they drank. They are two very beautiful girls. We live in a small town and I guy that we knew growing up had come in and one of the girls bought him a drink and talked with him all night. The two girls acted like goddess all night. Had the music they wanted everyone would buy thier drinks. One complained that her shoulder hurt and wanted someone to rub it. Well this guy that we knew growing up is married now. His wife had called the bar looking for him and the bartender said that he just left. Then the 4 of us left. I wanted to go home. I wasn't drinking and I am not into that. If it were my husband I would be mad. Today the wife called me and wanted to know if I knew where he was. She was upset and stated that he got home at 7am and beat her up and raped her. She was crying and everything. I am shocked now. She didn't deserve that. When we where heading to my house the two girls where saying alot of bad things about the wife to him. Almost like they where trying to get him mad at her. When they where at the bar they kept saying that they wanted to go skinny dipping. If the wife wanted she could easily find out that he left with us. (Small town people talk) They she would be really mad at me for not telling. What do I do? Tell her yes he left with us but I went right home. Lie to here. Or see if I can find out the truth for her. Honestly I know that my cousin is a big tease. She is beautiful and her job is a stripper so she wouldn't htink anything to skinny dip in front of someone. Do I think that anything else happened. NO! I have never know her to be like that. I just want someone elses opinion..... Thank you! Karen

I would tell the wife. Maybe she asked you because she already knew and wanted to see what you would say. I think it is best to be honest. I would not want her to be in an abusive marriage. You will do the right thing other wise it would not be bothering you. Good Luck!

Caryn, Your male friends behavior is a secondary issue to the fact that he beat up his wife and raped her!! She needs support and help with this issue first and foremost. Believe me, all the other stuff is irrelevant if this guy is violent toward his wife. She needs help and support. I would find out where the closest domestic violence program/rape crisis center is and try to connect her. This woman is a victim of a crime and needs your support. Lynne

Unless there was rape---continuing from the last response. This could be a trick on her part. But, maybe not. You have to judge for yourself whether was a true occurance. This looks to me like this is NOT a first incidence. Should you tell the wife? My thou ghts are no. This is for the simple reason that she is a friend and you ma y form a wrong opinion about this. I would however, tell a minister or someone of that nature because of the sensitive issues involved. It is serious to cry rape, or child-molester or someone like that. i would lay off and see where the chips fall. If it hapens again, meet with the man and tell him you know everything and then tell him if he does this again you are taking his wife away (and kid as well) to live with you. If he goes crazy then you have a cop nearby. If he seems complacent, then repeat the same. However, you do need more facts before you do anything

Karen, yo said you wanted to go right home after...did you? If so, you can honestly answer that yo all left the bar at the same time, bt you went straight home. If thisis the case, yo have no first hand info of what happened. I hope your friend is OK. Abuse cannot be tolerated. SH