How many divorces have come after

My hubby well xhubby became so jelouse and mean and nasty i had to say good bye. by the way incase you are wondering it has beenalmost 16 months and i have lost 140 lbs went from a size 30 to a size 7 thanks Dana

I'm worried about it myself! We almost split up before surgery because he's so against it! Anyway, thanks for the post. It's making us talk about it before I lose a ton of weight! Bonnie

YOU GO GIRL! I don't understand why spouses feel so threatened? If anthing you think they would be so proud! also respect the fact of how much youv'e acomplished. His Loss.

Hi, One Dr I saw (not my surgeon) said that 40% of WLS patients get divorced, where he got that # from, I have no idea. However, I can see how that is possible. Weird though, I'm actually discovering that my hubby is attracted to "plus size" women & I'm heading out of that range on a fast bus..lol! Guess we'll see what happens!

The divorce rate in the US is OVER 50%. I'd guess that post-ops get fed up and know they can do better, but I don't know. Then again, why would the divorce rate be any different in this population than the general population? Interesting... Nichole

I don't think its just the physical changes that threaten, its all the personal growth we go through. Emmotional, spirtual etc. I have grown so much more than my husband in the past two years, and we were truly growing apart. I am still pre-op, and now we are going to counceling, because I knew so many divorces came out of this. I would have regretted so much losing him because we were growing at different rates, I feel like he's worth the time, and so am I. Luckly though he is my biggest supporter in this, and he seems to listen to all the research I share with him. -Jen

Thanks for the response, I hope he stays that way. That is how my x was in the begining. He was wonderful. Then I started wearing clothes in the twentys, he got a little shaky. and then I left the twentys and hit the teens, things got very shakey. Then I hit a size 9 and he lost his dang mind. You should have seen him the first time I put on a 7. I am kinda glad he is gone now because I just hit a size 5 (tight but doable). At the end he wanted me to quit my job and stay on the property only leave the property if he was with me. I didnt go there. I kept my job and lost him. I do pray that everybody else has a better go with the mate then I did. Thanks Dana

Jen, I have to agree with you. I am also pre-op and at one point, when I would casualy mention WLS, my husband would say "NO WAY". When my doctor said that all my weightloss efforts were not working and that my health was in serious jeopardy, my husband became my biggest supporter! I think for a marriage to work in general, WLS or not, there has to be good communication. This is something he and I established before we got married. Now we have been together many years, we have 4 children, and he's watched me put on 80 + pounds to my already overweight frame. To this day he tells me daily how much he loves me and that I make him so happy. I tell him about all my appointments so he is not left wondering and next month my WLS surgeon is having a support group that my husband will go to with me. Unfortunately, to those who are getting divorces or going through divorces, I have to wonder how solid the marriage was to begin...not to seem insensitive. I have to wonder what the communication was like before surgery and how supportive was the spouse? When my husband comes home from work, dances me around the kitchen in front of our children humming "strangers in the night", I could never imagine life without him. Or am I just being naive???? Good luck to everyone and remember, your are a beautiful, strong, and capable woman with or without a man!!! Jennifer

One thinng I think I need to add.... My husband met me when I was chunky and I was the 1st chunky woman he had ever dated. He is a Marine, and image is everything in the Marine Corps. He used to get razzed about being with a chunky girl. He would tell them that he fell in love with me, the me inside and not my body. That was back when I was a size 16, now I am a size 26. He has never made any negative comments about my weight except that he worries about my health. And he has always been supportive of my weightloss efforts...so I hope he will be this time too.

I just want to say thank you to everybody for thier posts Dana