I am scared to death - looking for guidance....

I just received a call from my surgeon's office to schedule my Gastric Bypass surgery - they can schedule me for June 20th. I just realized that I have gone throught this entire process, and maybe I don't really want to do this. YES - I want to lose weight very badly. I have a BMI of 40, so I have been told I am on the borderline for being accepted. I am a 47 year old female with bad knees and high blood pressure. Other than that, I am healthy and not on any meds at all. I have been overweight since I can remember and put on mega weight after my kids were born - it just won't come off. I am afraid because I don't heal well - I have been told I am full of adhesioins. I also keloid scar when cut. I am afraid I will make my life worse then it is now if I have this surgery - serious cold feet. I guess I also can't help but wonder if I have done EVERYTHING I possibly can (non-surgically) to lose this weight.... I join Weigh****chers; I join Jenny Craig; I start an exercise program; I take diet pills; I vow to drink only protein drinks - I JUST DON'T STICK WITH ANYTHING!! I quickly told the woman from my doctor's office that I will call her tomorrow. I have to give this some more thought. Thanks for listening, Karen

You said "I just realized that I have gone through this entire process, and maybe I don't really want to do this." I don't pretend to have any answers, but if you are at a point where you are scheduling a data and you are still saying that "maybe I don't want to do this", then I would say you don't. Maybe you need to chill out for a while and do some more research, soul searching, praying, whatever you need to do BEFORE you make this life changing decision. For me, it came down to simple common sense. I am 30 years old, 5'5" tall, and I weighed 325 lbs. I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter, and to put it quite simply, I want to live a long time to see her grow up. My decision had more to do with her than it did with me. However, I will reap most of the benefits. I will lose this weight that is keeping me from being the best father I can. I will lose the back problems and knee problems that are starting to develop. I won't develop diabetes, high blood pressure, heart problems, strokes, respirtory issues, etc... Sure, I might get something totally unrelated, or have a car wreck or something, but the weight is a problem that I can do something about. By no means am I trying to say this is what will work for you, I just wanted to explain MY reasons for undergoing the surgery. However, I say again, you are only 18 days away from a surgery that is life altering. It is NOT a 6 month diet that you can cheat on or quit when you feel like. It is permanent, and you need to make sure that your head can handle what your body is going to throw at it. I would think that anyone with any reservations about it would choose to NOT go through with it. My advice would be to just hang back a bit. It took me over a year to make this decision. You can take your time. Don't feel pressured because some doctor has scheduled a date for you. Hope this helps...

Jaymie, I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your advice - you hit the nail right on the head. I just called and cancelled, explaining that I need to work out some issues before making this commitment. I fully understand what you are saying and I know how beneficial it would be to my overall general health (I have had 4 knee surgeries) myself. I guess the simple answer is that I am just not comfortable - I can't honestly tell myself that I have done EVERYTHING I can possibly do on my own to get some of this weight off. Jaymie, I wish you the very best of luck in your weight loss - Thank you so much for helping me with this. Karen

glad to...

Hi Karen, You definitely need to feel this is your own decision done for the right reasons, at the right time. I have been digesting this surgery for over 5 yrs. Only difference between you & me I am definitely ready. I too was concerned about healing due to keloid scarring. My surgeon assured me that in and of itself, is actually a good thing as it helps healing. So that helped me a tad. Be at peace with your decision. You did the right thing for YOU!

Karen, I was in your shoes just one year ago. I even went as far as "making myself" schedule and thought I could somehow work my way through the fear. I had pre admission testing, got coverage at work, had help lined up at home....even borrowed a recliner at the suggestion of a friend.....I had a full blown ugly panic attack at work and it was the worst thing I had ever experienced. I was present but not there.....somehow not able to function. It was then that I realized I was simply not ready. It took so much for me to get that message but I finally did, though embarassed and humiliated as everyone knew I was on my way to surgery in just a couple of days. I applaud you for realizing you are not ready before getting scheduled! I am now again pursuing this journey after another year of questions/answers, research and consulting with other surgeons. I am taking it slow. There is no urgency here. I've been this way for a very long time and I can take my time with this most important decision. Best wishes to you! J P

JP, Thank you for sharing with me. I really appreciate the feedback. What you said makes a tremendous amount of sense. This is such a huge decision - I thought I was ready, but realized I am not. Taking the time to REALLY be at peace with a decision like this is the best thing that one can do. It is a life altering surgery - I have read in many cases, people are extremely pleased and have a huge difference in their quality of life. I have read of some instances where people have had great difficulty and have regretted the surgery. I have decided that I will make a HUGE effort to lose the weight on my own. I cannot honestly say that I have REALLY fought to lose this weight on my own. It would be more accurate to say I have made some half-hearted attempts. I have been a Weigh****chers member on and off for many years, and I know it is a good plan. If I am unsuccessful and I can say I gave it 100% effort, then I will be more at ease with surgery. Thank you again for your kind, supportive words. I wish you the best of luck in your weight loss endeavors. Karen

Hi Karen! I had been researching this surgery for 8 years! Being a nurse who took care of post-op RNY's at my local hospital was enough to scare me for a long time! Everytime I failed at another diet, I came back to thinking about WLS and gathered more info. I found that counselling had really helped prepare me for my decision and surgery. Anyway, I'm still in Mexico, had my lap RNY on 6/3/05 and am doing great! I've already got to get off of my 3 diabetes meds because my blood sugars are now normal. I've also lost 17 pounds in 6 days. I don't care if I lose anymore weight, I just wanted to have diabetes under control and avoid the complications from it. I want to live a long time! I wish you all the best in your journey! Bonnie

Karen, I understand where you are coming from. I could never bring myself to seriously consider RNY - I have a small child, and even though his dad would take the best care possible of him if something had happened to me, I just could not bring myself to accept the surgical risks. I instead chose to have a lapband implanted. It's a slower journey, but there was practically no chance that I wouldn't be coming home to my son. My risk of being in a car accident every day are probably higher than the risks of complications with this surgery. Just wanted to share my thoughts and experiences. Good luck on your journey.

Take a deep breath and think about what you are saying, if you think that this WLS is not for you, then you need to try other options, because it could be GOD speaking to you and telling you that this is not the best option for you to lose weight. Listen to your heart, not your eyes and head....good luck and I will pray for you......