Lady A-A response

Guess what - I exercise - 3 times a week at the gym and then on the off days I walk at least 2 miles. Guess what - I follow the diet approved by my surgeron - who is highly qualified to perform the surgery I had. Guess what - I take my vitamins regularly. And guess - what - I have many, many regrets about having the surgery and I have had complications. Guess what - I say at the SUPPORT meetings I go to that I regret the surgery and had complications. Because people need to recognize that bad things can happen and that they need to be sure this is the way they want to go. If you want to live in denial - that is your choice - but you have no right to impose that requirement on anyone else.

I am sorry that you have had numerous complications and you regret having the surgery, but, I (like many others I'm sure) am aware of the risks AND benefits of the wls. I did not impose any requirements on anyone, you seem to be taking my post totally out of context. Instead of being angry believe me when I say that I care about the folks on these boards and want success for each an every one of them. I am not living in denial by any stretch of the imagination. I have done my homework! I know what lies ahead for me (which could be regrets for me as well). Don't take your anger out on me for voicing my opinion. Guess what-I am entitled to that!!

Phia, What I think you need to remember is that Lady A is also entitled to her own opinion and why it may not be the most popular or what everyone wants to hear it is HER opinions and HER experiences that she is venting about.Lady A may also be having other problems and the surgery is just where she can put everything.You don't kick people when they're down you should try to encourage them. I think your post would have been better served as sending an email to her and voicing your opinions/concerns. Since you have not had surgery yet you have no idea of what lies ahead of you because regardless of what you have read(I researched and planned for almost 3 years) this will be all new to you. This is not easy and in the back of your mind and I know everybody else whether or not they admit is that small voice that's telling you I can only eat a little food and the weight is going to fall off but guess what the weight it won't be that easy. You will still have cravings to eat even when you know that you're not hungry. I am one of the blessed ones because I had a complication free(so far) surgery and so far I have not had any other problems and I can't eat pretty much anything I want(except bread and foods/drinks made with artificial sweeteners I know weird regular sugar doesn't bother me but artificial sweetners make my stomach cramp). I am wishing you a complicated free surgery and if you do have problems/concerns I hope that you will be able to post and someone helps you not tear you down. Please don't take anything I am writing the wrong way but just remember that everyone is entitled to voice their own opinion. Jo Ann

Jo Ann, Your point is well taken. Thanks for responding. --Phia

Hi Phia, I really do not know where begin. First let me say that I am sorry that you are so angry with me for my opinion on what has happened to me. Secondly in no way have I ever discouraged anyone not to have the surgery because of my issues. You obviously have not done your homework about me and what I have done and continue to do for Pre and post op patients. 1. I have a Non Profit Organization for WLS Patients, we raise money by having fundraisers to support our cause. 2. I have sent thousands of dollars to people needing help with Vitamins, Protein Drinks, Medication etc. 3. I have sent brand new clothes to patients who have had surgery, but no money to buy clothes. 4. I have helped several people with financial assistance in paying for their surgeries as well co payments and deductibles for doctors. 5. On any given day I get no less than 300 emails from people who have read my profile and have been helped by my honesty, and my openess about my feelings as a Post Op Patient. 6. On a daily basis I sign no less than 200 surgery pages, sending support to Pre- Op patients and responding to them when they write back to me. 7. I have gone to hospitals to support people whom, I never met a day in my life. 8. I have called many people to give support as well as I have given my number to anyone who has requested and have been waken a many of night from people who needed help or just someone to talk to. The list goes on and on of how much I support people and their decesion to have this surgery, inspite of all that I have been through. Sweetie, you are Pre-Op and you can not possibly begin to understand what I have been through or what I am going through. You think you have all the answers and I am glad you are so confident with your self. I will say this, I hope that you keep this post you sent to me and read it when you have a day when you are feeling so regretful of your decesion to have surgery. There will be a day when you have some form of regret or disappointment for one reason or another. Last but not least, I started researching this surgery in 2002 and at that time, the information that was given about having this surgery was very vague and it did not stress that exercise was a requirement for me to loose the weight, trust me when I tell you that I know me and i honestly thought that by me not eating nearly as much before surgery that I would loose the weight and not have to exercise, because had I known that exercise was a requirement, I would not have had the surgery, because I know that I am a person who does not like to exercise. Yes, now they are stressing exercise big time, and you know why? Because so many people were misinformed as I was about the importance of EXERCISE. This is a WLS REGRET FORUM, this is the place to come and vent your feelings, that is why I posted my feelings here, not to be browbeat for my opinions, but to vent to people who understood what it was like to have a regret. You being angry with me for speaking of my regrets on a regret forum is just like me going to the SEX forum and getting mad because people are talking about SEX. If you do not wanna hear what is spoken on this board, then my suggestion would be to go elsewhere and read all the positive. One thing for sure and two things for certain, when you become POST OP, you will understand a whole lot better if you dare to ever be as BOLD as ME and ADMIT openly that you are having some regrets. Thanks for sharing and thanks for letting me share, and I wish you nothing but success on your upcoming surgery and I hope and pray that all will go real well for you and that you will never have a regret and I mean that with all sincerity. Adrienne

You handle yourself in a very respectful way, There is always an appropriate way to voice your thoughts and feelings, and i think you handled that flawlessly. My name is Jeanette and I just got my approval today, my surgery day is March 1st, 2005. This is my first time to the message boards. I am excited as well as scared. I know the pros and cons of this surgery very personally... my dad passed in 1982 due to complications from a bariatric surgery, yet my mom had open gastric bypass surgery in 2001, and is so much more lively and healthy, she looks great. I am a single mother of three boys, and i am very scared of the unknowns of post op, but i am more scared of dieing from doing nothing. Thank- you lady!! I plan to be on this site alot durring this next 12 days before surgery, hope to hear back from you. Jeanette in california

Hi Jeanette, Thanks for your kind words and I definetly understand your concerns. This is a very big decesion to make and alot comes with the surgery, however you have GREAT reason to want to pursue it and I applaud you for it. I wish you nothing but the best and please feel free to email me anytime. Adrienne

You are a true lady! You didn't take the 'bait' and I commend you for that. Some people just don't have a clue and sometimes they don't even after they have surgery. Not everyone flies through this surgery unscathed and people have a right to know that. But to watch you respond to those ignorant individuals is a true pleasure. Thank you for giving so much back to the WLS community even though you've had complications of your own to deal with... Jen

Thank you Jen, I appreciate your kind words. Adrienne

Adrienne, I've been keeping an eye on this whole discussion, and I have to hand it to you, you're being much more civil about it than I would be. It amazes me that people come to a REGRETS board, and give you grief because you posted something that was honest. And some of those people were just plain cruel. I first checked this board out because I was suffering from depression and second guessing myself after the surgery. It's better than it was, but I still have a long way to go, and sometimes I get in a funk. That's normal and I'm entitled to feel that way. I can't stand it when people flame others because they express regret. Hey folks, if you don't like the opinions expressed here, leave! It's a REGRETS board for God's sake, and none of us have the right to tell someone that they're right or wrong for having their opinions. I admire you for being able to deal with the negative posts here and not tell those people to f*%K off, like I probably would. And for all of you that did post so negatively to Adrienne, remember: Opinions are like a**holes; everyone has one, and everyone thinks theirs smells better than everyone elses. Terry