Lady A-A response

I went to my pre-op testing yesterday and I asked the doctor about complictions after surgery and what I could do to lessen the likelihood of them. He told me that I need to follow their instructions, ALL OF THEIR INSTRUCTIONS. I think that you are not following your doctor's instructions and that is why you are not reaching your goal as you thought you would. As I read your post about "being real" it seems you thought that you could get the surgery and go home and sit on your butt and watch the pounds just melt away. Well it doesn't work that way!! I have been doing extensive research on this procedure and one thing that I assumed is that with any wieght loss program (surgery or not) you have to watch what you eat and EXERCISE, yes, I said it, EXERCISE. It seems to me anyone who does not realize that is not covering all of their bases while doing their research. Did you even go to support groups prior to surgery? and if so, no one mentioned EXERCISE?? or did you shut that part out and thought, oh I'll just have the surgery and I don't need to exercise. Someone in a response to your post said that you seem lazy and I definitely agree. YOU ARE LAZY!!! and I think it does a dis-service to others for you to be spewing your nasty attitude on the boards and probably at any meetings that you may go to (I'm sure I would not want you in any meeting of mine, complaining I DIDN'T KNOW THAT I HAD TO EXERCISE!!!) WHA, WHA...get over it! If you don't want to exercise don't complain that you got a raw deal, you should have done your homework more throughly. The groups that I go to I ASK QUESTIONS!!! obviously you didn't. Many people have regrets maybe because their surgeon was not up to par and they ended up with major complications, that's a legitimate complaint, not I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS GOING TO HAVE TO GET UP OFF MY LAZY BUTT AND EXERCISE!! If I thought you had a legitimate complaint, I'd be all for your speaking up, but all you complain about is hating exercise, how stupid!! Exercising is necessary for weight loss and also it builds muscle which plastic surgeons want if you decide to have plastic surgery at a later date, it also helps reduce depression. So, there is a legitimate reason for exercise, they don't want you to do it just for the hell of it! If you have a legitimate complaint I'd like to hear it, but you're belly-aching about exercising is just plain stupid. You need to take all of that negative energy and get out and walk, and walk some more. Then maybe you will lose some more weight and feel more positive about your procedure instead of trying to poison others out there by saying "DID THEY TELL YOU YOU WILL HAVE TO EXERCISE?", My dear, that should have been a given. Weight loss experts have been touting diet and exercise for years now, where have you been??? If you insist on trying to ruin the meetings have something meaningful to say at them. I do know there are pros and cons to this surgery (even the head part), but if you truly want to be educated about it you need to research in every area possible, and ask questions. So stop trying to say you are "being real" when it is your own laziness that is keeping you from reaching your goal, stop blaming everyone else and look in the mirror and ask what can I do to turn myself around? AND GET A LIFE!!

Hmm. I love the fact that you haven't even had the surgery, yet you're preaching to those of us who have. Lady A has every right to say what she wants on this board, as do you. At least she didn't make her post a personal attack against you. You might want to think about that. I'm going to tell you something before you go in for surgery: This will be the hardest thing you EVER do. You will never be the same, and sometimes, you just need to vent your frustrations, your anger, your SADNESS that your old life is over. As much as you may have researched WLS, and you think you're the expert, there is a difference between "hearing" the risks and REALLY hearing them. And don't get me started about how different it is to actually experience the complications. Why post something that is just full of venom towards someone who is clearly in pain and needs some help? Come on, this is a support board, not an opportunity for personal attacks. I wish you luck on your surgery, and I sincerely hope you don't have to post to the "WLS Regrets" boards when you're post-op. Take care.

I found it very stressful to hear her continally complaining about something that is under her control. One of the things the doctor told me is that most of the time if you have complications that one, you may have had a surgeon that does not specialize in this special surgery (that is unfortunate) people are indeed in pain that is why they subject themselves to this surgery. And two, that they are not following their doctors instructions. I may not have had my surgery yet, but, there is a difference between trying to help others and trying to convince them that this surgery may not be worthwhile. I think this surgery is going to change my life, and I am very, very aware of the pain that I am going to subject myself to (both physically and emotionally), so I am in no way taking this procedure lightly. I don't consider myself an expert by any means, but she was attacking others and I found it difficult to understand that she blames others for her shortcomings. Pain or not that's not fair. I, too, am entitled to my opinion. I have been bothered ever since I read her post and I had to voice my opinion as well.

I remember being a starry-eyed pre-op thinking I knew all there was to know about WLS because I had spent over 2 years on this site, attended meetings, the whole nine yards. We all get our reality check cashed when we wake up in recovery. Read my short profile for details. Phia just needs to realize that blowing out someone else's candle isn't going to make hers burn brighter. I had a negative reaction to Lady A's post when I first read it as well, but now that I'm post-op, I totally get where she's coming from.

Hi Shayna, I guess I am starry-eyed at this point. I do, however, appreciate the changes that I am going to be going through, but of course, I won't know the entire impact of my decision until my surgery. I have a tendency to be somewhat hard-lined and I'm sure I will have a completely different outlook after my procedure. I truly have no idea what it is really going to be like and I don't pretend to know. I am a very strong, independent woman, but, I know I am not completely prepared for what's ahead of me. Someone mentioned that they hope I don't need to post here after my surgery. I hope so too, I'm sorry that I seem so hardnosed, but I want her to succeed and I can't help her and she seems so miserable. I just hope I have a different mindset after my surgery and don't fight my procedure, but go with it. We'll see...

Phia, I completely agree with you. I had the surgery about 2 weeks ago and I researched it for over a year and everywhere I read said that you have to exercise! The support groups I attended and my surgeon told me that you must exercise. I will admit, this is one of the hardest things I have ever done. I miss food and I hate watching my husband eat a big hamburger while I sip on chicken broth, but I know that in the end it will be worth it. I also know that I have to help myself if I want to get the most out of this surgery and I need to follow what my surgeon says and eat right and exercise. The surgery is a tool to help get the weight off not a miracle. Lady A has a right to her opinion, but to keep it real she should know it takes common sense to figure out you must exercise to lose weight. Also, I think 76 pounds in 9 months is a great weight loss! And it doesn't matter how much you weigh or have to lose, every pound lost is an accomplishment to that person and everyone who believes that they need this surgery, deserves it.

I totally agree Chas, We all have been through so much in our own ways and I think that I like others see this surgery as not only the last resort but the only chance to have a normal life. By the time we reach the operating room, I think each of us has thought long and hard about what they are getting themselves into (or at least I hope they do). This is a life-altering procedure and there are as many reasons that we subject ourselves to these procedures as the many numbers of people having these procedures. Each one of us has our own reasons. I truly feel for those who have had the procedure and truly regret it afterwards, that must be a truly miserable place to be. Hopefully, those who are regretful can come to terms with their procedures and go on to live a more healthy life, although others may not. I only hope that I am one of the post-ops that can handle this incredible change. I believe if you truly want to change you life and want to live a healthier, happier life that you deserve a chance.

I thought we were supposed to support each other, not tear each other down.

Well, there is such a thing as TOUGH LOVE!!!!!

That's the same STUPID excuse people have used for years for calling obese people names and tearing them down. So if your SO tells you you're a lazy fat slob for having gotten fat and says it's all in the name of tough love that's an acceptable excuse? . True enlightenment will NOT come until AFTER you've had the surgery. It is then you will realize that you've had surgery on your BODY but mentally you are still the same person. Changing the way you think about food? THAT is the true battle. Good Luck, you're gonna need it.