Any newer regrets?

I am a preop.. Iam in the just getting the ball rolling stage at this point. I have been reading the posts and I have not seen anything really recent. I am not sure if no one wants to talk about the bad along with the good. I am very interested as this is my life just like your life was on the line in some cases or it wasn't what you bargained for. I know it will not be a cake walk. I know I will miss my foods, along with having to adjust my life. This is some of the info i am looking for. pLEASE talk to me. Terri

Unfortunately OHS posters tend to avoid discussing regrets and complications...Almost seems to be an unwritten rule!!! I got flamed recently for stating that I regret the surgery - person took pains to point out how much weight I have lost and how could I regret the surgery having lost nearly 80 pounds... Will - there are many days I regret the surgery... My primary suggestion is that if you get insurance approval quickly (Like I did) wait at least 3 months before you have surgery....Spend A LOT of time thinking about the changes.... Read about the compllications....Know that you may have nausea for months. Know that you may never again be able to eat some type of food that means "home" to you (For me - that is tortillas - I can't eat them without getting drastically sick!!!) My second suggestion and one I wish I had done too - was try really dieting and exercising for 90 days...I have to admit that while I dieted many times - I never really, really did it the right way!!! All that said - I am hoping that once I get my gall bladder out on 12/2 I will no longer have the nausea and get my energy level back. I am more then willing to answer any questions - just email me. Anne

Hi Terri, I have been subscribed to this board for a few months now, and I have to tell you that it isn't that popular. I don't exactly think it is totally because people don't talk about their regrets. I think there are many different reasons: 1)Many people don't even know this board exists. This site is so expansive it takes months to find all the different boards,etc. 2) The vast majority of people do not regret it, it has saved their lives and they have done enough research before hand that they know what to expect. They know that they have to take the good with the bad. Most people have lived with such misery for years and years that getting through this surgery and everything that goes with it is minor compared with what they have lived with, many for their entire lives! That is my opinion on why the board isn't that active. I am currently almost 5 weeks out. At this time I have absolutely no regrets. I was blessed with (in my opnion) a perfect surgery and recovery. Yes, some things take some getting used to, but I am already much happier and healthier than I was before surgery. My doctor ordered clear liquids for two weeks after surgery and then pureed food for the next four weeks, which I am currently on until the 29th. I am satisfied and can have a lot of things that I want. This is just the beginning, soon I will be able to have soft foods. This stage has helped to teach me to recognize when I feel full. Old habits die hard, a few times I had a bite too much or ate too fast, but that is how I learn. I didn't like the feeling so I know the next time how to do it right! At this point I have lost about 38lbs. I am not the norm, a lot of people do have complications. If I were you, I would go to the October 2004 sugery date forum. All of these people are newly post op and talk about what they are facing being newly post op. It will give you some insight as to what to expect. They are also very nice and helpful, so feel free to post any questions you may have. I wish you well. My advice to you would be to thoroughly research your surgeon and choose the one YOU want. Don't just go with any surgeon, experience makes a difference with this surgery. Also, do all the research you can on the entire subject, not only are there issues with complications of surgery and the like, but you also must consider social issues, too. Many wls patients lose friends and spouses as they lose weight. People are very strange creatures, many are jealous and feel threatened when we begin to become more 'normal' in their eyes. Check it out and consider every single aspect! Good luck with your journey! If I can be of assistance at all don't hesitate to email me. Amber

Terri, I don't know your situation (how much weight you need to lose or if you have been told that you will definitely die w/out the surgery) but I CAN tell you that unless it is a choice of death or the surgery, I would not have the surgery if I were you. The ONLY people who should even consider this surgery are people that have so many co-morbidities, that death is an absolute certainty w/out WLS! I think it should be reserved for this group of people-I don't mean people with diapetes, HBP, arthriitis, or other things that can be managed w/meds and lifestyle changes- I mean people that are going to die anyway and just need to buy more time. I have never really spoken out against this surgery, as I know pre-ops don't want to hear it, or don't think anything bad will happen to them (just as I did before I had the surgery in Sept. '02). I have had nothing but complications and near death experiences with this surgery-it never ends, the complications NEVER stop, the worry that something will go wrong never goes away: I can't stress enough to people that this surgery can ruin your life and the lives of everybody you love. Missing food is the least of your worries after this mutilating surgery--just staying alive is the priority. I am two years out and still worried that one day I just won't wake up- I have suffered (and continue to suffer) sooooo many complications (the least of which is a lifetime of malabsorption) from my roux en y. I regret this decision daily, yet try not to dwell on the negative (although you wouldn't know it from this e-mail), after all, what's done is done. I know people say they research this surgery thoroughly and are aware of everything that could go wrong, but there is absolutely NO way you can be aware of everything that could go wrong when the docs aren't even aware of everything that can happen! Please reconsider your decision to have this surgery. Sincerely, Paige

What kind of problems are you having?

I sometimes regret having the surgery. I think as someone mentioned below, the constant low level anxiety of "am I getting enough proteins in? enough nutrition? am I going to have a stricture someday? Some other complication?" No matter how well things are going (and they are going extremely well for me, I had no surgical complications and have had no "real" complications since), there must be a hard focus on nutrition and other issues the rest of my life. I had this surgery because if I did not, I would have been dead in a couple of years. I was on a course of self-destruction and of killing myself slowly with food. I made the decision to live. Along with making that decision has come a certain need for diligence that will never ever go away. I have been sober and clean for 14 years and have a lot of experience with living every day with diligence and vigilgance, so I knew what I would be up against. Anyone who does not know that, will suffer. I have to watch everything that goes in my mouth now in the same way that I still to this day will smell any kind of drink someone gives me to make sure there is no alchohol in it. Also, as someone posted, there are foods I will never be able to eat again without the possibility of getting sick. Some of these foods I know about and some I don't know about. Its the ones I don't know about and that creep up on me two hours after I eat them and rob me of any sense of security like a thief I invited into my own house. I can eat something that seems to go down fine and two hours later find myself sick as a proverbial dog. You just can't know. Not to mention having food go down fine one time, only not to go down fine another time. Sometimes I look at food like it is an enemy I am about to do battle with, or a trojan horse of some sort. Do you come in peace? Or are you going to cause problems... Its a daily thing and I know it will never go away. When I had this surgery, I was ready to die anyway. I had spent years trying to kill myself thru my food addiction. I have a lot of support and I made the decision to live and this was the best support I could have. I see every day post op as an incredible chance at a new life with a chance to do the best and right things for myself. I don't weep over no more sweets or losing my "best friend" food. Because our relationship was toxic as hell and needed to end. The question to ask yourself is this... Are you truly ready to do a life or death battle with your closest friend and your worst enemy food?

I am so glad I have seen these responses. I know like I said it won't be a cake walk but I know it's got more things to consider and ask my doctors about. I am just looking closer @ other options too. Terri

Terri, I also have noticed that people tend to REALLY not like it when people say they aren't having a good time. I read a post recently where a woman was having trouble losing after losing I think 50 lbs, and the 2 responses before mine were both people jumping in to say that she wasn't doing this, or wasn't doing that. It's rather disheartening sometimes. Have you looked into the LapBand at all? I've found it's not as well known as maybe it should be. There are far fewer complications with this surgery, and the chances are far less. You might consider it. I'm happy to answer any questions you might have, or point you in the right direction to get information on it if you are interested. Sarah

I was coming back to ask the same thing; if you have looked into LapBand. RNY is not your only choice. It's not even always the best choice. J

Teresa, I am now 4 1/2 months out and down 84lbs. I have no regrets at all. It is frustrating at times. I can never have any cardinated drinks - ever - No BEER? I asked myself. But that is something that I am willing to sacrafice to gain my life back. Everyone has a different experience. I was denied by my insurance and was forced to go on a 6 month diet before they would approve me. Talk about frustrating. But that also gave me 6 more months of investigation and a period to think about it. The WLS is a LIFE CHANGING EVENT. The way that I looked at it was, I spent the last 10-15 yrs dieting and excersizing (not so much excersizing) and maybe lost 30lbs max. This surgery is just a tool not the answer to my prayers. I figured that there is a possiblity that I could die from the complications of surgery but if I don't, then eventually either diabetes, high blood pressure or heart disease would get me. You take risks at life everyday. Just make sure you go in with your eyes wide open. Thanks Jaime