Let me keep it real

Hi Lady A, I am so sorry that there weren't posts like yours before you had your sugery. I feel that if you knew "EVERYTHING" before, you may have thought twice before you went through all of that. I weigh 366, & I agree if I weighed like 200-250, I wouldn't have considered this sugery. But I know I am Morbidly Obese (I hate that word!), & I have so many other medical problems that I want to have the sugery to be healthier. My date is set for 11/10/04, & I am getting all of the info I can right now, I appreciate your honesty, so I & others will know what to expect. I am still going to have the surgery, I have gone through so much so far ro get ready, & I want to do it for my health. I know God is with me & with Him, all things are possible! And I do feel emotionally ready too. Thank you again for your honesty, maybe it will save someone from going through what you are going through, because you did not have the info before hand. God Bless You, Dee

I am a research buff and I looked at all I thought I could look at. I weighed 343 right before surgery and was set on having it. So many days have passed that I wish I could just sit and eat a real bowl of salad and eat healthy and exercise. But, instead, I am on this total emotional roller coaster. I thought of all people, I was mentally prepared and expected the first 3 months to be awful. But, now I am in that 3 months and a day seems like a thousand years. Some days (like today) I eat less than 100 calories. I hate eating now because of how it makes me feel. Now I know why they call it a pouch and not a stomach. My stomach was very accepting and my pouch is not. Today I at 5 cashew halves and 3 bites of string cheese. Not much at all. Consider all your options before the surgery. This is definately the hardest thing I have ever done in my life! Good luck!

Hi Dee, Thanks for the response. Let me say this to you. If you know in your heart that this surgery is what you wanna do, then Sweetie go for it. Always, Always remember that the results are different for everyone and not all people deal with the mental issues. My husband for one does not have the mental issues that I have and I think the fact we are more Hormonal has alot to do with it Let nothing you read stop your decesion, just let what you read make you more knowledgeable about what you are doing. There are not all bad days, but it is very frustrating, because all the years of research just had not prepared me for what I am actually going thru. However, this has not stopped me from supporting people and encouraging them and still referring people to my surgeon, it's just harder than I had expected. Adrienne

I have read several of your postings and I can't understand what you are so mad about? You don't mention any medical problems or near death experiences as a result of the surgery-you just say you hate to exercise and aren't able to handle the mental stress of the surgery and its aftermath. As a person who is the poster child for complications, this ****** ME off! If you haven't been hopitalized at least half a dozen times for malnutrition, had iron and potassium counts so low that your heart has almost stopped several times, had to have emergency surgery for gastric dilation, and had to have a hysterectomy because you just couldn't stand for your iron to get any lower, then I guess I would better understand your problem, but you don't seem to have any, other than being too lazy to exercise. You talk about keeping it real, well this is the reality-you need to appreciate that you are still alive and seem to be physically well (from what I can tell from your postings) and you need to stop whining because you don't lilke to exercise-you can't tell me that your surgeon didn't mention that you would need to exercise on a regular basis! I started out at around 250 lbs, had the surgery (mostly for vanity reasons as I had not been heavy all my life-only for about the past 6 years) 2 years ago in Septermber- I had no real health problems- just miserable from being so fat-I now weigh about 125 pounds, and wear size 4-6. I guess you could say I've reached my weight loss goal, but I have been through hell and regret every minute of every day that I mutilated my body like this. I am often sick,weak,and miserable and I make my family miserable as well not being able to do alot of the things I was able to do because of all my ongoing complications--THE COMPLICATIONS AND WORRIES NEVER STOP--this is what people need to understand before they mutilate their bodies and forever change their lives and their families' lives! You wanted to keep it real, so DON'T complain about not wanting to exercis (that just seems so trivial to someone like me, who has had real complications). GET OVER IT, MUSTER UP SOME STRENGTH AND PERSERVERANCE AND STOP WHINING ABOUT YOUR SITUATION, WHEN YOU ASKED FOR IT (A LIFE-CHANGE) IN THE FIRST PLACE BY HAVING THIS SURGERY-THE SURGEON DIDN'T WAVE A MAGIC WAND OVER YOU, HE JUST PERFORMED SURGERY. I hope this is real enough for everybody who has questions about the complications of this surgery and is trying to decide whether to have it or not. My advice: save yourself alot of pain and suffering and just shoot yourself instead!!! Sincerely, Paige

Girl! I knew it would take a "Sistah" to keep it real! I am so glad that God had me point-and-click my way to your posts. No. I have not had the surgery yet. I am pre-op and truly skeptical. Other than being morbidly obese (350lbs, 5'11"), I have no other medical issues. I've been reading things on this forum and on the Complications forum and I'm feeling really anxious about having my insides permanently rearranged. You're right about one thing. I've been going to support groups in DE and everyone seems to be all smiles and success stories. I'm happy for them but I also know that somebody in those rooms is having a tough time. Nobody seems willing to say what I know they are feeling - "If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't have done it." That's fair. That's honest. I just haven't found anyone who is willing to be that open. A friend of mine died after having an Open GBP. She suffered terribly after her surgery with complication after complication. Finally, her heart couldn't take it anymore and it just stopped. To be honest, I happen to know for a fact that she wasn't following doctors orders. However, when I ignore my doctor now, I keep living. If I ignore my doctor after the surgery, I could end up dead. That's scary! Here in DE, we are required to go through a Gastric Bypass Life Skills class. If we don't lose 3% of our weight before the end of the 12-week class, we will not be given clearance for the surgery. My reaction? I was pissed! The class requires you to eat less and exercise. Well if I could do that easily, I wouldn't be considering this surgery! One last rant. I have heard many pre-op people talk about having the surgery because they want "permanent weight loss." Well, that's not a guarantee with the surgery. The pouch is a "tool." If you misuse it, you'll regain everything plus some. Then what? Do you go have your stomach entirely removed? Thanks for keeping it real! It's good to know that everyone isn't losing hundreds of pounds in a year and running off to have skin removed in plastic surgery. It really sounds like weight loss is just as hard after the surgery as it was before the surgery. The surgery comes with lots of risks and no guarantees. Deep. Take care! Cassandra.

My doctor let me eat right up to the midnight hour before surgery. I wish I would have had to work a little harder to get it now. A GB Life Skills class would have been great. I think I could have learned a bit. You see, for me it was mostly mental. Your body doesn't want to eat, but your mind does. It is really tough. And it sounds like you are doing your homework. Keep on looking and good luck in your decision!

This is really a great post Lady A -- you are right that most people seem to put on a happy face about their WLS, and not talk about the negative aspects of how it affects their life. I am pre-op but I know for myself that many people in my life don't support WLS, so if I were to show anything negative about my life after surgery that they would be thinking "I told you so" -- which might make me hide my true feelings as well. I wonder if others feel that same pressure? This post has also taught me something that I never thought of before -- that people with more than 100lbs to lose go through this experience in a much different way. I wonder if the moderators can create a new forum for people with more than 150 to lose or something - so those people can feel that they have a weight loss community that better understands how they feel? Just a thought -- I hope your journey gets easier. Thanks again for posting this message --- Kristin

Thanks Kristin, This is something that i will present to the powers that be to see if they will create that type of forum, because people who have to loose 100 plus pounds do loose differently. Thanks for your response. Adrienne

The concept for a forum for people with more than 150lbs to lose is a great idea. I for one don't think a lot of people can really identify how I feel. It's discouraging seeing people who've had the surgery around the same time as you talking about they're at goal. That sucks because when you look at the numbers, if they even bother to post the numbers, they've lost around the same amount of weight you have. V.Grooms

Girl, My doctor let me eat right up to the midnight hour as well. I mean I had no bowel preps or anything. However, I did stop at an early part of the evening because the nerves had set in. Adrienne