Let me keep it real
I would like to start this off by saying I am white(my race). I am in Mississippi, and I am very sorry for the ignorance that has been shown to you Lady A by my southern neighbors.
You were definately not the one to play the race card, it was the AL hick. And it was also her who got all the AL people to run over here and bash you. It went like this:
When in first grade Mary was telling a story. Elizabeth came running up and said no that is not how it went. Mary said you were not there how do you know? Then Elizabeth runs and gets all her friends and they then jump on Mary.
The End
Keep on keepin it real Lady A, and God bless you for opening up your mouth. Your story is exactly what "we" pre ops need to know.
Donna from MS
Adrienne,
First, let me preface my comments with 3 things:
1. I am not the surgical candidate. My DH is. I am just trying to be supportive, and positive, and learn as much as I can about the surgery he is going to have.
2. I have read your profile, and others *****sponded to your post. I am fascinated by the amazing differences from person to person, both in their experiences, and the way they discuss and analyze them.
3. This post is really long. Mainly because it's almost 1am, and I'm so hyped after reading this thread, that I had to just put it all in words.
THANK YOU for having the courage to speak your mind. Your honesty is important, and should NOT be perceived in any way, shape, or form as negative. As a spouse, who is not overweight, I can never fully understand the feelings, thoughts, and issues that one goes through in this experience. Certainly, being able to "get into the mind" of someone who has had a less than optimum result, helps me get what I need out of this site - an opportunity to anticipate some of the less glamorous possibilities, and be prepared to be supportive.
As for exercise, when we went to the surgeon's office, he was not extremely adamant about the need for it. He mentioned it, but he emphasized the dietary restrictions to a greater extent. To be honest, it wasn't until I started reading posts on this board (mostly in the IL forum, where the members are fantastic) that I began to appreciate the need for exercise. Unfortunately, this will not be a very easy thing for my DH to do, since his foot problems (not really obesity related) do not permit extensive walking. At the moment, the plan is for him to walk about 10 laps from living room to back door every day, until the spring, when he may be able to walk the driveway. No one expects, until he has foot surgery, that he will be able to exercise extensively. It is hoped that his distal RNY will provide enough malabsorption for loss, but there are, of course, no guarantees.
Of course, the media's ability to create a blinding buzz that highlights the positives, without identifying many of the accompanying risks, lifestyle changes, and less glamorous aspects of the surgery is not helping people come to this decision with their eyes wide open either. Carnie, Al, and Randy (and other celebrity successes) all have the resources to hire personal trainers, have plastic surgery whenever they need it, and get media coverage that glosses over it all. I'm not degrading them, or intimating they shouldn't have had surgery, or begrudging them their success -- I'm just saying that the one place where the truth is usually available is this site. I haven't read Carnie's book, and I'm sure she tells it like it was FOR HER, but she's only one person. This site provides an opportunity for even the most casually curious inquirer to review hundreds and thousands of stories - some of which have been remarkably tragic and difficult. That is NOT bad -- it's good!
As I mentioned earlier, I read your profile, and from reading it, I can tell that despite your frustration at not having the exercise explained adequately, you ARE working on it, regardless. That in of itself should be proof that you are not trying to dissuade anyone from surgery, you are simply trying to provide facts - facts that help people like me. I have no specific control over my DH having the surgery or not, (and I would NEVER tell him NOT to have it) but I DO have to live with the consequences/benefits of his decision. That means I have a vested interest in understanding both the risks and benefits to this surgery.
Finally (yes, really, finally!) I DO wish there was a forum for those with a higher BMI pre-op. Not because I feel people with lower BMI are less deserving, but because the risks, issues, and life changes ARE different. There should be an environment available for those who have needs and requirements that those with lower BMI don't go through. Just as no one on this board would go to an Anorexia support forum for diet advice, those who have higher BMI shouldn't have to get information on WLS from those whose pre-op weights are the same as the higher BMI's goal! There is just a completely different set of assumptions for these two groups. I have spent an inordinate amount of time searching for profiles whose success/obstacles might be similar to those my DH may go through. It is a challenge to find them sometimes.
At any rate, THANK YOU! I appreciate your candor, your confidence, and your courage in being open to criticism from people who aren't even able to evaluate your statements at face value.
God bless you in your continued weight loss. Stay strong and keep it real, for all those who need to hear it.
Jennifer
a baby goodluck with everything boo
i am 230 and 5ft with asthma and allergies and sleep apnea
i am taking all the test but not sure about rny i would reall rather have the lapband
i am so uncomfortabe and depressed because i just lost 55 pounds and gained 34 back do to steroids and increase in appetite
i hope that the bike riding goes well girl
you know what maybe get in a step class or dance class
i have always wanted to have one called jukersize dance/excercise with great music
when you are out there bike riding girl visualize yourself thinner na dhealthier and happier it works for me alot
god bless you!
Lady A I want to say thankyou for your honesty and for holdidng your corner I read your post as well as your page and I am going to use several of your hints in particular the walmart one. I am very disgusted with the level of ignorance that your personal opinion was met with. this is an individual journey not a cult or a Klan meeting and some of these posters were warped and controlling. Higher pre-op weight brings different issues. many many different doctors do not stress excercise at the same level that they stress dietary restrictions it is encouraged and expected but I associated it with skin sagging as much if not more than overall weight loss. I am happy for all who are succesful in this endeavor but I also realize that sucess is an individual determination and every one has the right to bring their issues wls or life related to the AMOS board and get recieved with understanding and respect. If any pre-op can be turned off to wls simply by hearing one persons horror story they may not be ready for the possible outcomes of this or any other surgery. I have emotional issues surrounding my love of, and obsession with food it is my cocaine, marijauna, vodka of joice. when I am sad I eat when I am happy I eat. I cook, I love to feed others. food is a joy in my life and come january 20th I am going to part with the longest relationship that I have ever had or worse than part I am going to redefine the terms and limits of our relationship and anyone thinking that it is not emotional and hard is a very interesting character indeed. Thank you Lady A.
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