Let me keep it real

I know people have different view points on what was said to begin this LONG chain of emails. However, having been overweight my entire life, I knew I had gone wrong somewhere. I think the original lady who started these emails was unrealistic in thinking she could just get her stomach altered and the weight would just fall off. I KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE gone through being overweight (to a certain degree). But being negative, is not the same as "keeping it real." I tend to be very outspoken myself but MATURITY has taught me that when you vent, you will tend to vent irrationally. So, I can see why you said what you said originally. I give you big up's for doing so many things to support others who have been or are obese. There should be more people willing to give of themselves to help others out of the "bondage" that being overweight can put you in. The nasty comments that a lot of people have made have been just that and only that...nasty. This chat room was probably not designed for this type of chat. Yes, people do need to be real in their experiences before, during and after weight loss surgery. If you're going to keep it real, you need to be real with yourself and realize that EVERYBODY is different. Not everyone loses weight the same. If you are finding that your weight loss is progressing more slowly than you hoped, then being as intelligent as I know you are, you need to change what you have been doing and intensify YOUR weight loss efforts. Exercise is a must not only to rapid weight loss, but also to help tighten your skin. Hey, I don't like to exercise, either. But I refuse to be thin with skin sagging all over the place and I refuse to just let weight loss "happen" to me. I want to be a part of it and feel like I "earned" it, not that it was just "done" for me. Everybody has issues in life. There is no exemption from that. But if your issues in life are as massive as they are appearing, then you should have put the weight loss surgery off until the other issues were more ironed out. I say that because a major surgery and its accompanying weight loss do make a good environment for emotional rollercoasters. Nevertheless, you must be willing to make some changes YOURSELF. You have to realize that the reason you are overweight is because YOU went wrong SOMEWHERE. Maybe, not completely, but SOMEWHERE. You must be willing to take responsibilty for your actions, and in your case, lack of actions. Get out and exercise!!! It will help you feel better!! No matter what you do, though, you have to have a positive attitude. My world has not been the story book ivory tower. But I refuse to go through such a major surgery and be defeated because I did not heed others' advice and do all I knew to do to help MYSELF. After all, it is MY life and if I remain overweight, nobody is going to be miserable but me and the problems will only escalate. Think about it!! Be blessed!!!!

That is you and not me, you are one of the many that want to believe that your weight loss failure is do to you, you are mis informed this is a Genetic problem, everybody on my Moms side was BIG, I have done every diet there was and exercised when I did not want to and still could not looses. I know what i am talking about maybe you do not. Oh and I am keeping it real, because there are many that feel like me, but are afraid to say ir publicly because of people like you and The BULL who is pissed because #1 she wants Kids and can not have them because she is too FAT and because #2 I have had the surgery that she wants and thinks will change her life but can not get approved for, so she feels, how dare me be NEGATIVE. I say to HELL with you all, because until you have walked a MILE in my SHOES you do not know **** about ME................................. Adrienne

i have heard quite enough from the bull myself--pre-ops butt out!!!

I know that is right, I am sick of her too, she is Hatimg because she can not get approved. I feel sorry for her. Adrienne

Hi Adrienne, I remember your profile from several months ago when I started looking into WLS . Actually, I enjoyed your posts. I don't think many of us enjoy exercise, and even if we did, at our weights we would not do very much of it because we are just too out of shape. I look at WLS as an enforced behavior modification. I think it works well for some lucky people even if they don't exercise. For most of us, the idea was to get healthier, not just look better. So the exercise is good for us in that respect. Just wanted you to know that I believe even this exchange had a lot of humor in it, and please keep on giving your honest opinions. Karen

Thanks Karen for the response, If you have read my profile than you know alot more about me than my Flamers. thats ok though, because Adrienne will keep on telling it like it is no matter how many people get mad. Out of all of the hundreds of responders I have gotten private and public, I only have these 2 or 3 folks on here that disagree and try to turn everything I say around, but thats ok Because I will never stop being me for nobody. Adrienne

In two of your posts, you say your doctor/surgeon never stressed exercise as being a requirement, but you also said in another post you have referred several people to this person and 8 of them are planning to have surgery. Why in the world would you refer people to someone (your surgeon) who is an apparant quack if he is not telling pre-ops they need to exercise as post-ops? I'm a pre-op and my surgeon wanted to see my work-out regimen and gym membership if I had it. I have arthritis that severly limits me and he wanted notes, etc. from my rheumatologist confirming what I told him. If your doctor seriously isn't informing patients of the need for exercise, you should report him to the state boards and file a complaint against him. That's outrageous. Also, not everyone has a problem with eating too much food. You can see study after study after study of obese people who eat smaller amounts than most of their average-weight counterparts but do not manage to lose weight/keep it off. Like you said you don't want anyone telling you how you feel, many people don't want to be lumped into a group of alleged eating disorders when that is not the case. I've been in therapy for years, and I've never been diagnosed with an overeating/binging or any other food-related disorder. I feel for those who do suffer from eating disorders because I know any addiction can be difficult to overcome. Just as this surgery doesn't work for all of us the same, we each go into it for different reasons. I'm not clear on what exactly you say your reasons for choosing surgery were. Did you choose this surgery so you could lose weight without having to exercise? If that answer is no, than I don't understand why you are upset about needing to exercise if you knew you'd have to do it before you had the surgery. Those two statements contradict each other. Either you knew about exercise and chose to ignore it and hope surgery would work or you didn't know about exercise at all.

My doctor in no way is a Quack, I will repeat what I have said numerous times. Of all the research that I did it did not require me to exercise to be successful. Again for about the 10th time let me repeat. Had I known that I needed to exercise daily to be successful than I, YES ME would not have had the surgery. I wanted the surgery to loose the weight not to have to exercise with it. If I was one that could endure exercise than I would not have needed surgery. I knew going into this that I would not exercise. This post is really getting tired and old. I have repeatedly expressed my situation over and over again, yet people still seem to make it into something it is not. My husband who went to my doctor is doing great, my sister and my best friends are doing great. I am only speaking about ME and MY issues, I posted them here to express my feelings not to be told that I should not have had the surgery, not to be told that I am a disgrace to Black Woman, Not to be told I was a nut, Not to be told that I had to have known about exercise. This is a WLS Regret Forum and of all the other post I have responded to, I have never condemend anyone for their feelings, so why am I being Condemnd for MINE. I have never tried to talk anyone out of this surgery, Ijust simply wanted to place my feelings on this board because this is how I feel about me. I too have been in therapy and have never been told I had an eating disorder. I always knew that I liked food and I ate, that is why I gained. And until you are post op, you can not begin to imagine just what problems you thought you never had, but then find that you do have them.

I wasn't condemning you for your post or your feelings. You say, "Had I known that I needed to exercise daily to be successful than I, YES ME would not have had the surgery." It is your surgeon's responsibility to give you this information to help you succeed. If he didn't give you this information then he failed you. It's that simple. Have you spoken to your surgeon and expressed your displeasure at what he did not tell you? That lead to my other question, if your surgeon did not give you all the information you needed to succeed and performed surgery on you when you were ill-informed, why would you recommend anyone else (much less the 10 or so you said you recommended) to him if he is not giving his patients adequate pre-op care? What I'm asking you has nothing to do with how you feel or your regret in having surgery. I'm merely asking if your surgeon failed to inform you of the need to exercise and you feel you made a wrong decision in having surgery because of the requirement of exercise, why are you recommending your surgeon to anyone else? Do you give them the caveat of "beware, I recommend this surgeon but he will not fully inform you of all you need to do." Obviously your surgeon is not educating his patients and is setting them up for failure.

1.) Just because someone is obese, overweight, or has a fat ass doesnt mean that they are 100% responsible or that they automatically "have deep rooted issues". Some people are overwieght because of genetics, some because of learned eating habbits, some because they have as little as 250-500 calories extra each day. Which, let me remind you is a big gulp.. and that is not much more than an NORMAL WEIGHT person. It adds up over the years. 2.)losing 79 pounds in 9 months is still considered "rapid weight loss" and if the surgery helped you, than you should look at that as a blessing. because God knows some people can not physically or emotionally keep it off, even if they could lose the same amount. 3.) Sorry that some people do not find WLS successful, but look at all the people it has helped compaired to those who it hasn't.