Sad and very regretful!!!

For most people they all seem happy with their decision.....NOT ME!! It is the worse thing that I have ever done to myself. I would give anything to turn back time......NO ONE told me how sick I would be. Basically I was told i would be able to eat anything just tiny amounts. ALso that I would feel great. I was happy and healthy and now I am unhealthy and sad, very sad. The only thing I see helping me is a reversal and I am not having musch luck with that issue.

Janie, I am so sorry you have had a hard time. I am pre-op hovering on the fence as to whether I should do this or not. I would love to hear what has happened with you if you would be willing to share. It seems that everyone on here has loved the surgery and I am struggling to find those that can honestly tell me they wish they hadn't done it. I need to be educated about both sides. Amy

Hi Amy, If you are pre-op and undecided, I would tell you to be realistic. I am 10 months post op and I am basically happy with the results. I have lost 100 lbs. and down from size 26 to 12. It is not without the down sides. I can't eat raw vegetables or a lot of my favorite fruits. But I can still eat chocolate, potato chips and other things I shouldn't. (That is the down side because I am a compulsive overeater, so I still struggle with that) But I no longer have that "starved" feeling and when I do feel very hungry, I can eat a few bites and feel satisfied. If I could have lost the excess weight on my own, I would have. I tried everything and my health was declining. This surgery is not without sacrifices and is a very serious decision. We make a commitment to protein and vitamin supplements for life. We give up a lifestyle we've lived for many years to have an opportunity for a better life. I'm sure that many people live their life overweight/obese and are satisfied, healthy and happy, but for me, I was looking at being in a wheelchair at age 35 and would rather die on a surgeons table than be in the constant pain and humiliation that I endured for years. When someone says it's the easy way out, there is nothing easy about this and if you take it lightly, you are kidding yourself. Good luck in your decision.

I have also been feeling the same way. I would love it if you could e-mail me privately. I would like to talk to someone who may be going through the same issues I am. I am just not sure if I am feeling this way because I am only 3 months out or if I will always feel this regretful. I hope to hear from you. Yvonne

Janie, I am sorry to hear that you are having regrets. I am only 3 weeks post-op. With your feelings of being sick, is it a nauseated feeling, vomitting, pain, etc.? Have you discussed the specifics with your doctor? There is medication you can use? Are you taking enough protein, enough liquids a day to prevent dehydration? Are you avoiding caffiene as it is a factor in dehydration, etc.? Janie, it sounds as if you have a post-op or anesthesia induced depression. You should strongly seek out a counselor and possibly if evaluated as needed, medication. There is nothing wrong with admitting this at all. It is a physical illness. I have dealt with the same demons. I am currently reading a book from the LIfe 101 series called, "You cannot afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought", maybe it can help you as it has helped me. As a healthcare provider I can recognize the signs/symptoms of depression and acute illness, I know, I experienced them myselves the first two weeks...I am currently seeking help myself. Please contact me at [email protected] if you want to chat about it. But don't give up on yourself and try to smile, if only for a moment. There is nothing you cannot get through. Chris

I'm sorry you are regretful.You should make the best of it.I felt the same way shortly after my wls on Dec 1 2003. I have lost 121 from a all time high of 565 and I am feeling so much better.It does get better...........steve

Janie, You don't mention how far out you are from surgery. Sometimes the first few months can be very difficult as our bodies are trying to adjust to the changes. I hope you are discussing things with your doctor. There can be things that happen (like strictures) that can cause much discomfort but can be corrected. I have met many recent post-ops that were in the same place as you are now who were very unhappy with the surgery because of complications early on. As time passed, they found that things did get better and their opinion of their decision changed for the better. I hope that will be the same for you. Please keep us posted on your progress. Hugs, Pat B.

Hi Janie, I hope things have gotten better for you since your original post. I will put my two-cents worth in. Right now, five weeks out, I am regretting it. I have lost 35 pounds and that is good, but it has been an up and down ride since the surgery on May 11th. I'd say, mostly down. I'm about to start my sixth week. I had nausea and pain in the first few days. That went away sort of, and I have been able to tolerate protien drinks, deli-turkey, low or not fat turkey chili, tuna with non fat cream cheese, and of course the usual yogurts, cottage cheese, etc. I am really getting tired of protien drinks. I've tried smoothies too, but you have to make it right, which I don't always. One of my biggest problems has been drinking water. For the first three weeks it hurt! Even a little sip. Crystal Lite helped a little. Now, it is ok more or less, but still difficult to get tha****er down. It just does not taste good to me and it is often painful. Anyway, my bigest problem and a question I wished I would have asked before is this: Will I be hungry enough to want to eat? I was more concerned about always being hungry and not being able to eat, but now I have no appetite and have to force myself most of the time. I think a lot of it is some medications I have to take - some really make me nauseous. I am working with my Doctor for alternatives. Anyway, I feel like I am not getting enough protien or liquid - but I am working on it. Then with the vitamins and hair/skin and nails, and other things, it seems I'm always have to take a pill - which my stomach does not like! And if I have pain somewhere, which I do most of the time, well, there are not many choices. Tylenol will work a little, but then that is another pill or three! Since my surgery, I've also had a week long bought of sore throat and fever which was the last thing I needed. Then last week, I got a bacterial infection in one of my testicals, which was about the worst pain I have ever had. I am taking antibiotics which is one of the things making me nauseous now. I was told that I probably got the infection in the hospital from the cathater I need on the first day, because I couldn't pee that first day. Then, I have been extremely exhausted, especially if I am trying to do stuff like normal. I seem to have a huge inward weariness that I never had before. Sometimes I actually feel like I am slowly croaking, more than what I felt when I was obese. People tell me it is because of the surgery and that it takes time. I hope that is true and a year from now I will be happy and healthy with no regrets. I have talked and read to so many people about how happy they are and how much energy they have and so on. It is what decided it for me. I'm still waiting - painfully and tiredly.... Richard Wakeman

Your post hit right home in my backyard. I feel identical to you. I too regret my decisiont at this point. I have NEVER felt this upset in my stomach for such a long time. My website is [email protected]. My name is phyllis jean and I am 20 days post op. ould like to hear from you.

How long ago did you have your surgery? I had a hard time with the surgery.......... I ended up with a leak and was in the hospitol for over a month then came home with tubes........... I am 5 months out now and I am feeling so much better! I did regret at first when I had the surgery.... I was like, what have I done! It was just hard going through what I went through and I would do it again today! I am so sorry that you feel awful and hope that everything goes well for you the rest of the way!