As there doesn't seem to be a "beat yourself up" forum..(long)

I will beat myself up here. 

I had my surgery July 1, 2010.  I think I have had the EASIEST RNY ever.  No gas pains after surgery.. no real trouble with food... the weight has simply fallen off.  Sounds great, right?

I lost my job (and my medical insurance) shortly after surgery.  Losing my job (and being unable to find another one) caused me to fall into a depression.  I let myself become the worst WLS patient EVER.  EVER!  I stopped taking my vitamins.  I stopped working out.  I stopped caring what I put in my mouth. I stopped getting out of bed.
   What the heck is wrong with me?!  Didn't I have this surgery to get healthy?  I really didn't have this surgery just so I could fit into a size 4 jeans.  Now, I am coming out of my depression (which was silly to begin with.. my life is GREAT.. I have no reason to be depressed in the first place) and I am terrified that I have doomed myself to a fate worse than being morbidly obese.   I did this to myself.. I know this.  I am trying to get back on track.  I have started taking my vitamins again.  I started working out again.  I am much closer to the correct diet now.  (Still not perfect, but I am trying).  It's not that I regret having surgery, it's that I was too ... (lazy, ignorant, down right STUPID) to follow the rules that I KNEW I had to follow to be successful.  No.. I can't really claim ignorance.. I KNEW what the rules were.  It's long past time for me to stop throwing myself a pity party and just get with the program.
  I am terrified that I am too late. I would gladly gain back half of what I lost in exchange for to ability to take back what I have no doubt done to my body.   I need to find a way to get to a doctor and at LEAST have some labs done, but I don't even know where to start since I still have no job/no medical.  
  Has anyone else been in this situation?  Gotten depressed (or whatever) and just completely neglected themselves?  Were you able to reverse any damage that you may have done?  The things that concern me the most are iron (I have always been anemic, even before surgery) and calcium.  
  Here is what I am taking daily now:
    I take a Centrum Performance multi in the morning with 2 calcuim/vitamin D tablets.
    Lunch - two more calcium/vitamin D and sublingual B12 complex
    Around dinner:  2 more calcium/D tablets and another Centrum Multi
     Just before bed: vitamin C chewable (which I HATE) and (about 30 minutes later) three 27 mg tablets of Ferrous Gluconate iron tablets.  
  Is there anything else I should be taking?  Honestly, I feel pretty good physically... no problems except occasional constipation and I was getting dizzy sometimes when I stood up too fast (probably the low iron?)
  Thanks for reading this and thank you in advance for any advice.

Please don't be so hard on yourself.  Like you, I neglected myself after my first WLS.  I didn't take all the supplements I should have, my labs were incomplete (not all my fault, I trusted my surgeon and they just don't run that many labs), I ate so much I regained 100lbs and never exercised.  I did wind up very sick for a long time before I had the energy or motivation to make changes.  I spoke with someone who is very knowledgable about post op care and I told her that I had stopped taking care of myself because I just didn't care anymore and she told me it was the deficiencies talking, that becoming vitamin deficient can cause use to stop caring about taking care of ourselves.  That helped open my eyes.  I tried to have a complete set of labs done but for some reason many of the labs I requested weren't done or I didn't get the results for them.  I still didn't have the energy to fight about it so I just resigned myself.  I did find out I had very low vitamin D and ferritin and I had an iron infusion but I still didn't feel better.  I finally went back to my surgeon and begged for a reversal.  I found out I couldn't be reversed, only revised so I didn't malabsorb so much.  At the same time he reduced my stomach from a very large sleeve to a RNY pouch.  I used to time recovering from surgery to detox off of carbs and I started researching what vitamins I needed and started on them.  I was finally able to get a complete set of labs after 6 months, when I had already been supplementing, and I was able to adjust my vitamins to make sure I was getting enough.
It took the better part of a year before I started feeling normal again.  I was a hard recovery but that was after many years of neglecting my health.  It sounds like you have only been doing that for a few months.  I am sure you haven't done any permanent harm.
Is there any kind of low cost health care or clinics where you live?  Can  you qualify for state Medicaid?  Whatever it takes get your labs done.  If you can't get any help find out if they have a self pay rate or if they will let you make payments.  You need to know where you stand and what you need.
Here is a link to Vitalady's recommended labs and targets. https://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0AU46vLsRDC9rZGhranhtcXpfO GNxcDk2c2c0&hl=en&pli=1
You won't know what else you need until you can see what your levels are.  That will give you a better idea if you need to take different vitamins or more of what you are taking.
The dizziness after standing could well be low blood pressure.  That is very common.  If you have a store nearby with a blood pressure machine you can check it out and find out if your blood pressure is low.
As far as constipation, Vitalady recommends Miralax daily, 2 magnesium oxide 500mg pills a day with your calcium doses and stool softeners.  I also try to get in a lot of fiber.
How are you with your protein?  I know protein powder is expensive but try to get at least 100 grams a day, along with a lot of fluids.  I buy my protein in bulk and it costs me about $5 for unflavored whey isolate.
Good luck to you.  I am sure you will be fine.

You took the first step coming here and admitting that you have a problem. 

Have you applied for Medicaid in your state?  If you have no income and no health insurance, then you should qualify.  It isn't the best insurance out there and not all doctors take it but it is a start and you can get your labs covered that way.  Please look into it.  If you have some type of income and dont'qualify, check into if there are other programs. I know in NYS there is medicaid and then I forgot what it is called but there is another program for people that make a little too much for medicaid.  There are programs out there, you just have to research them..Also, if you have to self pay for them once and make arrangements to pay them $20 a month until they are paid off, then that is an option too.

You got back on your supplements which aren't too bad but could use some tweeking.  For your multi - you are best off with centrum silver chewables - they taste good and have no iron in them. 
 The iron just interferes with the calcium and is the wrong iron anyway.  Take the multi 2 times per day like you are.  They also have selenium in them which is very important and many other multis don't.

Your calcium - make sure they calcium citrate with D - citrical is great inexpensive option.  You can get the maximums which are 630mg per 2 tablets and take then 3 times per day giving you 1890mg which is good dose to make up for what you were missing.

Sublingual B12 - you want to take just B12 and not complex.  The complex tends to have too much B6 in it making many toxic. YOu get enough of the b vitamins in your multi except for B12 and B1.  For your B12, since you are probably pretty low from not taking it for awhile, I would recommend taking 2500mcg daily until you get your labs done.  There is no danger in taking too much but too little can cause nerve damage.  the B1 you need 100mg per day - this can be in a regular tablet.

Your iron is the biggest concern for me.  Any iron with ferrous in the name is not good for us, we cant' absorb it and especially since you were anemic before, you need a really good iron supplement. The cheapest and best iron that I can suggest ( I take and works great) is called Tender Irons - they carbonyl iron with the vitamin C already in the capsules - the C needs to be taken at the same as the iron, not 30 minutes before.  You can get these at vitalady.com - they are 60mg per bottle and the bottle has 400 capsules, so it can last for quite some time depending on how many per day you need to take.  Being you are known anemic and have been taking the wrong iron, I suspect your iron and ferritin are really low.  I would start with 3 capsules per day (this is what my NUT starts all patients with)  You can take them all together in one dose.  If needed you can take up to 5 of these.  Some people need to take Heme iron but that is very expensive and the Tender Irons usually work really well.  They also are easy on your stomach and dont' cause constipation.

Ideally you should take some vitamin D as well, I was in the pharmacy the other day and they had bottles of D3 -10,000 units - I would start with 1 per day and see how that goes.  You probably need alot more than that but it is a start.  Make sure it is D3 and in a tablet or capsule, no gelcaps.

There is a good chance that you might need more but without labs, you won't know.  Here is a list of labs you should get.  Hopefully you can get them covered by someone.  Some deficiencies that are common are vitamin B1, B12, folate, vitamin A, selenium, zinc and a few others.

Here is a list of what you should get tested.

CBC, Comprehesive Metabolic Panel, Iron, TIBC, Iron Sat %, Ferritin, B12, Folate, Vitamin D ( 25 Hydroxy), Phosporus, Calcium, PTH, Vitamin A, Vitamin E, Vitamin K, Lipid Panel, Zinc, Magnesium, Selenium, Copper, Vitamin B1 (Whole Blood), B6,  TSH T4and T3, HemA1C

I hope this helps

Thanks for the info!

Thank you both so much!  I will get on those thing ASAP!  Now that I have been taking my suppliments again, I am feeling a bit better.  (I still have a long way to go).  

The big new for me is that I have found a local support group that I will start attending on the 15th of this month. 

Thanks again!

you, are just a reason for me to post my reply. you're a woman who needs self confidence in my eye's **** you are whatever age and starting to look out for you in whatever way you want, in wow, you have now what is looked for, but i have to ask, because i know what i have to say is the truth, in what ay is he not looking out for you? any man you reach out for, has to put himelf out for you, what the **** is he thinking? i don't even know you? i feel "just because it is the right time in my life" is not a justification to you, woman. so what are you honestly thinking if not for yourselv'es?