Why we overeat...

  People overeat and stuff themselves in order to feel good.  It's the pleasure factor that we are all after when we eat.  When we stuff ourselves or give ourselves sweets, we actually are feeding the hormones in our body that give us pleasure sensations and those are the same sensations we get when we feel loved.  We are as addicted to that sensation whenever we choose to overeat, get drunk or take drugs.  All of them give us pleasure and all of us are seeking it.  People just don't understand that food is an addiction just like alcohol and drugs.    I personally realized that I was stuffing myself because I never had the love of my parents.  My mother abandoned me because she chose to be an alcoholic and my father chose to love his second wife more than me and I ended up living with friends and other relatives all of my life.  My father died when I was 15 and my mother died when I was 20.  I harbored anger and bitterness towards them all of my life and chose to 'fill that void' with food because it made me feel good like being loved feels good.  When I realized that fact, it helped me deal with the whole overeating issue itself.  When I chose to forgive my parents and love them despite their failures, the desire to overeat went away.  Granted, the surgery happened before I did that and the weight came off but I've managed to overcome the 'food is my life' issue because I chose to forgive.   See, when you think about it, the people who have surgery are forced to first drink liquids the first week.  Then they graduate to more solid liquids the second week.  Then they graduate to soft foods after that and eventually get to regular food but in small increments from then on.  If you stop and think about it, if a person would eat like that without surgery they would lose just as much weight as if they didn't have the surgery in the first place.   People regain their weight because they never dealt with the issue of why they overate in the first place.  They thought that the surgery would cure the whole fat issue and it doesn't.  They learn how to graze all day or stretch their pouch back out and then wonder why they've regained most or all of their weight.    A person's weight issue will never be solved with surgery.  It can only be cured by finding out why you are overeating and deal with that first and then learn to LISTEN to your body and only eating WHAT and WHEN it wants to eat.  People think that 'mouth hunger' is real hunger but it isn't.  Overweight people usually don't know what it's like to feel a hunger pain because they don't get to that point.  Food is their life.  They live to eat instead of eating to live.  No one really realizes how little food the body needs for fuel each day.    If you ask me if I would have had the surgery again, I would tell you no.  Most WLSers aren't that way.  I would have chosen to cure myself mentally first and then listened to my body and learned what it really wanted and when it wanted it instead of just throwing food down it when I saw a commercial or smelled food cooking.    I don't know what decision is best for you but I do know that you must love yourself enough to cure the inside before you cure the outside, however you choose to do that is up to you.  

I agree wholeheartedly!

I had the lapband put in about 3 years ago, lost a decent amount of weight, was doing so well - then I had to have the band removed.  I've been able to maintain my loss - but I never worked out any of the underlying issues.  They've just manifested themselves into other addictions (and food is still my favorite addiction).

If I had to do it all over again, I still would've made the same decision...I was desperate.  But I now realize how much it's the underlying issues that matter, and how hard it is to fix those, even though most of the weight is gone!

 

Hugs,

Kristen

 I am going through a tough spot right now with this. I am over 7 months into my wls program and have mentally burnt out. I did the psyc eval months ago and it wasn't till a month ago that they wanted me to meet with someone else (which I was planning on doing anyway but it's hard to find someone that I clicked with). So I had my first session with this new psycologist a week ago and she said she believes i have an eating disorder... soooo... I'm asking myself why have the surgergy?? If I can fix the mental part then I shouldn't need it anymore and if I don't fix the mental part the surgergy would be a waist?? I just really wanted the surgery to help push me and boost my confidence, i know that this will be a life long battle with or without it... i'm just lost at what to do at this point. It's very stressful as I have to meet with the nutritionist every 2-3 weeks where I weigh in everytime and have to log alllll my food and exercise.... I just feel like that my whole life has been consumed about this and I don't see that it will even happen... Praying for the answer of what I should do....

I totally 100% disagree. Whever you lump us all into one group you are sure to be missing something.

I'm no more addicted to food than I am to cardboard boxes. I have OCD and when I am stressed I turn to food. When I treat OCD my head hunger goes away and I don't even want the stuff.

Please don't assume that if it is 'so' for you then it is 'so' for the rest of the world. We are all unique individuals with different issues.

Obese people tend to produce 3x the hunger causing hormone Ghrelin and that over production of Ghrelin. That difference is there before we gain weight. Are we overproducing Ghrelin because Momma potty trained us too soon? I mean seriously, we are all different and we come to this "T" in the road for very different reasons.

I think there is something to what you are saying and I did not know what to do about it. I had overpowering hunger, Hunger where my stomach actually hurt. I don't know if this will come back or why it was there in the 1st place. I used to joke and say I was so hungry I could eat the ass end of a horse, lol. Anything could set it off but mainly the smell of food. I wanted the sleeve surgery for the ghrelin effect among other things because I felt I was unnaturally hungry but the insurance wouldn't cover it and I ended up with the RNY. I have not felt like that since the RNY, but prior to it I was out of control and would be the 1st one to admit it. I know, though that I was not imagining all that hunger and pain, and the pre op diet, I couldn't think, on that little food, it was horrible. I dont know why after surgery I can deal with so much less food besides for the obvious smaller stomach size. I would like to think I could have cured myself, But honestly if I could have i would have.

I want to thank you for your post. I have not yet had surgery but am going to in the next couple of months. I wanted too know realistically what to expect and so I started reading on these forums and have to say I was getting more than a little nervous. I will be the first to admit that I eat more now than I did before sicknesses and hormone therapy and many similar issues started me towards the path of obesity. Now it is all on me, I feel so much hungrier than I ever did before, and eat so much more than before. After reading some of the other posts though it was a little scary to think maybe I am setting myself up for failure. But I appreciate knowing the physical reasons not just psychological for eating too much. I really like how you help keep it all in perspective and hope to have a similar positive attitude...wls is a tool to help control the physical hunger so all of the other steps can work. Thank you

I believe are issues are as individual as we are. My parents loved me and I am still overweight.  I was trained to use food as a soother. I was not trained to do something creative with my emotions or to take a walk when I was upset, or how to deal with conflict in a productive way.

As a kid, I don't know why I could not stop eating fruit after I had eaten my share. I just could not stop until it was all gone. I cope with food, but there is more to it than that. It has to do with something beyond my behavior. I have lost weight and been 17% body fat. Slim!  I had to fight to stay that way. It was a daily battle which I enevidibly lost.

My surgeon began his medical career as an internist---a diagnostician, then became fastinated with the disease of obesity. He talked with me about the production of Ghrelin and obesity. People whose body weight is greater than 50% fat produce 3x the amount of the hunger hormone (ghrelin) than do non-obease people. This is a medical fact.  This is why those suffering from obesity lose and gain and lose and gain. Our bodies are hungery more often and we process our food differently than do naturally lean people or height/weight proportional people.  This why WLS is covered by insurance. Obesity is a disease.

Sometimes a person needs to have medications to get them in a place where therapy can do them the most good. I  see WLS as helping me get to a place where I can get physical control of hunger,  so that I can get the most benefit from my therapy and the therapy will help me deal with the head hunger which will help me lose weight. I see WLS and therapy as partners in a successful journey towards a healthy life, both physically and mentally.
Peace.