50/50 on whether I should've done GB

do you guys think that maybe sometimes after so long we tend to forget how bad we felt before surgery and just find new things to feel bad about??? you know like when you have broken your leg and while the cast is on for 8 weeks you would just give anything to be healed and normal again and then after you are and a few months have gone by,,, you really dont'' appreciate it anymore because you dont' really remember how bad it was??

I def. agree with the fact that we create new problems and forget about the old ones.  And a lot of that has to do with the main reason most of us got to this point which is the mental reasons.  Head hunger, depression, boredom, etc. 

However, the problems I'm having right now are things that I could not have though would've been issues before the surgery.  I was not a drinker at all pre-bariatric, but now that I'm lighter and feel more comfortable, I am putting myself out there at the age of 28.  Just last nite, I was at a bar/club which I had not been to for years.  And its hard when everyone is drinking and having fun.  Plus, what I know now in hindsight after this surgery 2 yrs later is that it takes the same things now to lose the rest of my weight/maintain than what I had to do before surgery.  Diet and excercise.

I have some suggestions and opinions for you, if you don't mind. One is that I am currently 36 years old, and I have never been a drinker, even when I was in my teens and 20's. I'm also not a shy person or a particularly uptight person, I've just never found drinking to be my thing.

For one I found it amusing being sober and watching everyone else getting drunk.. lots of things to laugh at. I also could always be counted on to be the designated driver and didn't have to worry about doing stupid stuff while I was drunk or being taken advantage of.

I also found it helpful to hang out with other people that weren't drinkers. So although you might not like this suggestion, you might want to find some new friends. Maybe there are others out there that you have more in common with and who will be more supportive and inline with what you are about these days.

I have found that as I have had major changes over the years, I have at times had to find new sets of friends that I can relate to. Very few people in my life understand or can relate to most of the aspects in my life.. so I have friends that can relate to my weight struggles, friends who can relate to me being a parent, other work friends, school friends, etc.

What I want to do and what I want to talk about often dictates who I hang out with. As far as putting yourself out there, please don't stop doing that! But there are a lot of great places to hang out, and great people, and they are not often in bars!

Some great places to meet people are activity clubs related to your interests, libraries and book stores, ballroom dancing (most ballroom places to not serve alcohol), yoga classes, cooking classes, etc. Also check out this website: http://www.meetup.com . It sounds like a dating website but it's actually a site designed to connect social groups with common interests. For instance people that work in a specific field, people who play specific games (like chess clubs), and all sorts of things. You can find groups in your local area, and especially when you are in a more populated area, there are tons of groups. For instance there is a hiking group in your area, so you can get exercise, make new friends, maybe even meet a nice lady. :

http://www.meetup.com/Maryland-Hiking/calendar/13088331/

Or here's one for shyness and social anxiety:

http://www.meetup.com/The-Baltimore-Shyness-and-Social-Anxiety-group/

Looks like there are 700+ groups in your area within 25 miles:

http://www.meetup.com/find/us/md/baltimore/?sort=founded_date&show=results

So I also wanted to speak to your depression.. depression can be either biological or psychological in nature, or both. One thing that is common with depression is that it is often caused by vitamin deficiencies such as vitamin B or D. You might want to take more vitamin B and get some sunshine.



HTH...

I just want to say I think you look handsome and like the kind of guy people would want for a friend.  Forgive me if this is not a welcome suggestion, but maybe you are discovering that you don't have the right group of friends for your self.  I know there are lots of young people's church groups that would love to have you and you might just be surprised at the different kind of friendships and how you might fit in and become more true to who you really are.

 Something else you might want to think about -- at 28 you should be thinking about "getting over" the alcohol thing.  I live in Pittsburgh and we have been surrounded by news of Ben Roethlisberger...he is the same age as you and you see what has happened to him because of alcohol. I know as a younger woman I dated a guy who was 28 and still had a "thing" for alcohol and it really concerned me. Needless to say we did not remain together. You will be happier and healthier without alcohol if you stop now. You might want to consider going to an AA meeting since you say you are addicted to the feeling you get from alcohol. You will learn a lot.  Alcohol is not a friend...it's a drug. Some people can handle it while others can't. You need to be honest with yourself about which category you fall into and react accordingly.  Good luck.