50/50 on whether I should've done GB

I'm almost 2 yrs out of my Gastric Bypass.  For the first time in 2 yrs, I am feeling 50% regret. 

But, let me first go through the positives:
1) I went from 410lbs to 275lbs (still wanna lose another 50-75)
2) My blood pressure and panic that was a result of blood pressure went down and I got off of Klonapin, which I was on for 5 yrs.
3) I am more mobile, I feel more attractive physically

However, I feel like coming into the surgery, I heard nothing but mainly good things.  I was not going to let anything stop me from having this GB, even when the insurance company shot me down.  But 2 yrs out, there are so many things that we know now that we couldn't have known pre-op.  First off, I never thought I had a major depression issue.  But, after 2 yrs, I have become seriously depressed at times.  And this is because I am dealing with an addiction transfer.  The excessive amounts of bad food used to be my drug, but now I look towards other addictions, like alcohol.  The problem is GB can't drink. 

Can they?

And I'm 27 and still wanna have fun and it hurst so much and is so depressing to see all my friends at bars "getting hammered" and having fun and I'm just standing there all serious and not enjoying myself.  Or not going out at all.  This is more of a deeper issue that I had before surgery, but the GB has made it worse.

I also read all these horror stories on these blogs about post-operative situations that I didn't look into so much until now that really freak me out.  And sometimes, it the regimen is followed.  I wonder in the end if the GB made me healthier, or was just a "wash."?

I think you just didn't do enough research.

If you still need to lose 50 pounds, that means you went into surgery with 185 lbs. of excess weight, and you've lost 135, or 75%. If it's really 75, then your excess weight would have been 210, and you've lost 65%. In either case, you're considered a success, as anything over 50% is 'successful'. You should have gone into surgery knowing that.

You should have also known that post-op depression is quite common after the gastric bypass. Do you take anti-depressants? If not, talk to your doc and GET SOME.

You should have also known that after the BG, alcohol is a whole 'nother story. They say it hits you harder and faster, and is far more dangerous. That's not to say that you can NEVER drink, just that you've got to REALLY take it slow and learn your limits. You CAN still go out and have fun with your friends.

At your young age, you need to get your head around the fact that this is a DONE DEAL, and it's up to you to make this work for the rest of your life. Research EVERYTHING. These post-op situations you talk about? You need to know as much as possible about ALL of them, because you are your own best medical professional. Sadly, most medical people don't know nearly as much about the post-op WLS life than you SHOULD, and there WILL come a time when YOU have to educate your caregiver.

Your weight is down, your BP is down, your panic is gone, you're off Klonapin, you're more mobile and more attractive. How can you think you're NOT healthier???

But you ARE 'medicalized' for the rest of your life, and you need to deal with that NOW.

Hi There, if you aren't seeing a therapist doing so will help. I agree check out anti-depressants. I take them and have suffered from major depressive episodes at least 7 times in my life. I no longer do. These will help.

I wish you well.

Thanks guys.  I am getting into a new anti-depressant regimen now supervised.  I am also engaged in therapy.  I hope that things will improve.

Good for you. Both will help. Keep reaching out here for support too!

First off let me say you look GOOD!!!! Be proud of what you have accomplished. It is so much more than you give yourself credit for; I bet. Not only do you look good but think about how much healthier your body is. Yes, I like you get to sit around and watch my friends get "toasted" and having fun while I am sipping water so I know what you mean about how that feels. However, what it took me a little while to figure out is that is my problem. They are all drunk or pretty close to it so they are not going to realize what my issue is with the whole situation so it was up to me to get myself to loosen up and have fun without requiring the booze. I know that it is far easier to say it than it is to do it but just for fun once try it. Go out with your friends and put yourself out there light up, loosen up and throw yourself into the mix and see if anyone notices or thinks you look silly. You won't. We think we do/will but in the end everyone around you is toasted so trust me if they remember it it will be through a haze of alcohol induced silliness so you will seem like just one of the crowd. It know for me this was a really hard thing to do. Before surgery I was so fat and I felt sooooo out of place. It took a few drinks for me to loosen up and not feel self conscious. Sometimes now I feel the same way but that is when I have to give myself a little pep talk. I have gotten to the point where I keep a before and really current 'after" picture in my wallet at all times. When I have a moment of self consciousness I pull those pictures out and it gives me a boost of self confidence you wouldn't believe. Then I toss myself into the mix and see what happens. =) Good luck and try to give yourself a little bit of a break - you have accomplished so much and you deserve to pat yourself on the back.

I was delighted to read that you are on an anti-depressant and engaging therapy as, realistically, this is how you're going to find the answers you seek.

As far as the alcohol, I think you may want to re-think this as well.  My question has always been when did drinking and fun become synonymous?  Why is it necessary to drink to have any fun?

Your friends that are getting hammered, are they really having fun or are they just a group of  drunks who, as a result of their inebriation, think they're having fun?  

Looking back now from a sober prospective to the times when I drank, I realize that much of the fun I thought I was having was actually self destructive behavior.  Sure it seemed fun, and often funny at the time, but sober up and look at the behavior and it's not nearly as fun or funny for the most part.

The best thing you can do for yourself, and any family you may someday have,  is to find fun outside of drinking. 

Best of luck to you!!!

Thanks for the kind and altruistic words guys.  You're both right.  Its not the alcohol itself that I am addicted to- its the feeling I get from it.  But, mainly its a problem because I'm only 28 and most of my peers are engaged in these behaviors.  But, you're both right that the real problem is not the gastric bypass but the fact that I am not able to have fun without the drinking and I need to find a way to let myself go and use other means.

For 28, the words and thoughts you are expressing are very wise.  As you get older, you will look back and understand just how wise...

Again, wishing you absolutely nothing but the best. 

Its true, as post wls you are considered a success already by your weight loss. Be proud. Look at how far you've come.

I'm also your same age and I understand dealing with the friends. My coworkers meet about once a month for drinks and I would always eat a HUGE plate of nachos. I haven't been since my surgery 3 weeks ago but I've already made the decision to not drink bc of addiction transfer and my family's history of addiction.

Be strong and you may need to find new friends to do new activities with. Especially if they aren't going to share in your new healthy lifestyle. I've started to make some at the gym.

I really don't have any advice. Just keep doing what you are doing and hopefully the abstaining from alcohol will get easier.