Crossing Over to Transfer Addictions
http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/crossingtotransferaddictions/
Hi All,
There is a new OH Online Support Group. The above link will get you there.
It's called Crossing Over to Transfer Addictions.
This group discusses the issue of transfer addictions (also known as cross addictions) after weight loss surgery. there are millions of people who have undergone gastric bypass who are now dealing with issues of addiction transfer.
For a number of people, giving up overeating leads to adoption of a new compulsion. Addiction transfer occurs when someone is unable or unwilling to rely on one compulsion (for us, it was food) and so switches to a new compulsion (alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, shopping, internet, porn, etc) due to not having dealt with the underlying issue behind the compulsion.
***Please feel free (and safe) to join and discuss any and/all issues you have regarding Transfer Addiction. ***
WE WILL SUPPORT EACH OTHER WITHOUT JUDGEMENT!
Hope to hear from someone soon. Have a blessed day.
I had gastric bypass surgery over 4 years ago. I lost 100 lbs. Was married for over 23 years from the age of 18 to a man 8 years older than me. Two children, mortgage, grandchild, etc. I began getting a lot of attention from men and wasn't getting attention at home for about the last 23 years. Well, I made a poor decision and slept with someone. He ended up being a very mean spirited person, so to say the least, the experience was not very nice. I was filled with guilt only having been with my husband for 23 years. This began a downward spiral of poor choices, it seemed that I became addicted to the attention and sex from men. I continued having sex with that man, and do not know why, there was really nothing great about him or the experience. Then when that ended I continued to look by joining an on line dating site, you would be surprised how many men really do not care if your married and only want sex. I know, I know... What can I say, this was all new for me. Now the lies and guilt were overwhelming me and I could not bring myself to have sex with my husband at all, in fact it made me ill. But I would have sex with any other man that I found attractive knowing that it would only be a one time thing. Now, after a few months of this and fighting with myself on how to stop, I went to see a therapist, in fact two of them and they were useless. I couldn't stop, it actually hurt and made me feel awful if I tried. I became a sex addict. I continued to see this man about ten years younger than me and another one 5 years older. They wanted to continue seeing me. I began juggling my married life, work, and the two affairs. It was exhausting! I slowly stopped seeing the younger man, but only because he was transferred out of town. At this point I was starting to fall for the other one. I told my husband, he still didn't want the divorce, but I insisted and we divorced, sold our brand new home we built from the ground up and only lived in 3 years. I live in my childhood home with that guy I fell for and my x has a new girlfriend that is 15 years younger than him. He gives her all his attention and all his money and she is happy to take it. We stayed friends. The last two years have been a hot mess. I don't know what the hell I was thinking or doing, I couldn't stop. I had to really work at it and it took a long time. My relationship with the new guy is good, he treats me very good and gives me attention and were best friends that have really good sex. I never had that before. But I know this... that i would have never done anything like that before my surgery. It's like I lost myself. I'm glad it's over and I am very careful to control my actions now.
