Just Starting The Feeling Of Regrets

   HOPE ALL IS WELL WITH EVERYONE             
          LET ME TELL YOU MY STORY;;FIRST OF ALL, I AM HAPPY WITH MY WEIGHT LOSS SO FAR (OR NOT) ,,DONT THINK I COULD HAVE LOST  THIS MUCH ON MY OWN..I STARTED AT MY CONSULT 307 ( I AM 6' 0 ) DAY OF WLS I WAS 297 ; I AM NOW 214, EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AT 211. WANTED TO GET TO 180. SO THAT IS A TOTAL OF 96 LBS.? ??  ......I HAD 120 LBS.TO LOSE TO BE VERY VERY HAPPY...NOT SURE I WILL MAKE IT,,SEEMS THE ONLY TIME MY SCALE MOVES IS WHEN I START MY PERIOD,,I HAVE HEARD LOTS OF WOMEN  ON HERE SAY THE SAME THING,,I AM THINKING IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH  MENOPAUSE. I JUST TURNED 51 IN JUNE 08.....THE FEMALE HORMONE STOPPING MY WEIGHT LOSS..??.  I GET SO CONFUSED HOW TO GET MORE WEIGHT OFF AT THIS POINT ,CAUSE IT HAS STOPPED FOR OVER 3 MONTHS,, IF I DON'T KEEP UP ON MY PROTEIN MY HAIR IS STILL FALLING OUT AT 16 MOTHS PO NOW...NOT MUCH LEFT.....SINCE WLS I HAVE HAD ONLY 4 CYCLES,,(NOT GOOD) ONE EVERY 4 MONTHS....I KNOW I KNOW ......BE HAPPY WITH WHAT I HAVE LOST RIGHT NOW,,IF I DONT WALK 2 MILES EVERY DAY ,THE WEIGHT  STARTS TO CREEP BACK ON LB BY LB.. I WEIGH 2 X A DAY MORNING AND NIGHT,,IF I DIDNT MY WEIGHT WOULD HAVE COME BACK ALREADY....I AM DOING PRETTY GOOD WITH MY EATING.....LEAST I THOUGHT I AM.....WELL I HAVE HAD 9 HEART SURGERIES PRIOR TO WLS OPEN HEART INCLUDED.....MY LOWER BACK KILLS ME EVERY DAY,,I'M SURE MY MATTRESS PLAYS A BIG PART IN THAT, I CAN'T AFFORD TO BUY A NEW ONE,,I KNOW A PILLOWTOP WOULD HELP BUT I JUST DONT HAVE THE MONEY,,SINCE WLS I HAVE HAD SUGAR CRASH'S ;; THEY ARE WORSE THAN WHEN YOUR SUGAR GOES TOO HIGH...AT LEAST YOU ARE COHERANT  IF TOO HIGH,WHEN IT CRASHE'S GOES TOO LOW..CAN EVEN DIE FROM IT..YOU GO COMATOSE IF WAY TOOO LOW..MINE HAS GONE DOWN TO 44... YOU PASS OUT..... I DON'T WORK OUTSIDE THE HOME BECAUSE SINCE MY OPEN HEART SURGERY I HAVE BAD ANXIETY, ( I ALMOST DIED) WHEN THEY INJECTED TOO MUCH MORPHINE.WENT INTO RESPITORY FAILURE,,AND I WON'T TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS  OR ANTI- ANXIETY MEDS..FOR FEAR OF WEIGHT GAIN ..THEY DO CAUSE IT .....I LOOKED INTO TAKING ST. JOHN'S WORT ,I WAS OK WITH THAT .........THEN I HAD A PROBLEM WITH THAT.......... MY HEART STOPPED TWICE JUST 30 MINUTES AFTER TAKING IT..BUT I AM OK NOW ( AS YOU CAN SEE) BUT THE ANXIETY ON TOP OF THE ALREADY ANXIETY IS KILLIN ME...I THOUGHT LOOSING WEIGHT WOULD HELP MY LOWER BACK PAIN AND MY KNEE PAIN,AND IT HASN'T, NO ONE WARNED ME MY TAILBONE WAS GOING TO HURT ALL THE TIME AFTER WEIGHT LOSS,,I LOST 50 LBS BEFORE ON MY OWN YEARS AGO AND I NEVER HAD TAILBONE PAIN...........I WORRY CONSTANTLY THAT I AM GOING TO DIE BECAUSE OF MY HEART AND WORRY THAT IF I GOT SNOW BOUND SOMWHERE SOMEDAY I COULD POSSIBLY DIE WITH NO PROPER FOOD AND VITAMINS AND PROTEIN..I WORRY IF I EVER GOT IN A SITUATION TO CAUSE ME TO GO TO JAIL THEN I WOULD FALL APART IN JAIL ,THEY DON'T TAKE CARE OF YOU VERY WELL IN THERE (TRUST ME)... MAN THE ANXIETY NEVER STOPS..I WORRY THAT I AM NOT GETTING ENOUGH VITAMIN B12.... I AM SUPPOSE TO TAKE 500 MG TWICE A DAY ACTUALLY 3 BUT WHEN I DO IT CAUSES ME TO PASS OUT JUST LIKE YOU DO WHEN YOU EAT TOO MANY CARBS ..SUPPOSE TO GIVE ME ENERGY BUT IT CAUSES JUST THE OPPOSITE TO ME.. YES WEIGHT LOSS HAS HELPED ME WITH MY BLOOD PRESSURE AND DIABETES.( NO LONGER ON ANY MEDS FOR THOSE) BUT I NEVER HAD THIS MUCH ANXIETY BEFORE MY OPEN HEART SURGERY I WOULDNT WISH THAT ON ANYONE....SO GLAD ALL OF YOU ARE TRYING TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR HEALTH WITH WLS.. .SO I WORRY WORRY WORRY WORRY....AND I KNOW STRESS (ANXIETY) KILLS ...........I AM CONFUSED THAT I AM REGRETTING THIS OR NOT?!!!..........I JUST WONDER IF IT'S ME CAUSE I'VE HAD OPEN HEART SURGERY OR IF OTHER PEOPLE HAVE THIS MUCH WORRY AS I DO IN THE SAME SENSE AS ME.....SO IS THE TRADE OFF WORTH IT? YES I'VE LOST WEIGHT BUT THE ANXIETY IS KILLIN ME JUST AS MUCH AS THE HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE AND THE DIABETES WAS.,,,THANKS FOR READING MY STORY,,LETTING ME LET IT ALL OUT AND SOMEONE TO LISTEN TO IT.........WENDY

Wendy,

I am sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time of things.  Anxiety is never fun and it can be as dibilitating as any disease.  Have you spoken to someone about your anxiety?  It sounds like you might need someone to help you sort out what is going on - both physically and emotionally.

Some of your symptoms may be directly linked to pre-menopause, some may be the result of WLS, and others may be from your open heart surgery.  Your mind and body has been through so much - if it is also going through menopause, then it is continuing through more changes. 

If I were you, I would list all of my concerns and go and see a doctor that I trust. Bring a friend with you.  The doctor ca help you to organize the ailments and figure out a pplan of attack that is built for you.  Your friend can be there to listen and write down what the doctor has to say.  I have read that bringing a friend to the doctor is a good idea when you have a lot to tackle - that friend will be abe to assist you because they are hearing things through the eyes of a friend - not the patient.  Often, when we are the patient, we are worried and sometimes miss things.

I wish you well and hope that your journey becomes easier with time,

Jenn

                                      WANTED TO ALSO MENTION  TO EVERYONE ;;YOU ARE  WELCOME TO GIVE ME ANY TIPS HOW TO MAKE THIS WEIGHT LOSS JOURNEY LESS FULL OF ANXIETY.....THANKS..........WENDY

Hi Wendy!

My my my girl.. it sounds like you have been through ALOT!!! I can relate with the anxiety issues.  I have found that writing a list of your fears, worries, concerns, etc and bringing them to your doctor or a therapist really helps! I see a therapist about once a month and it has helped tremedously!!!

I know when I first was told I should go, I thought to myself this is never going to work and no one will ever be able to help me.  But I was SO wrong! I walked into the therapist office and within 2 minutes I was crying from relief of sharing my fears with someone else!  I also have tried anti-anxiety medication like Fluoxtine, It really does help alot! 

Also you should keep a journal for yourself just to write your thoughts and fears down.  It really helps to write things down to just get them off of your chest.  I would also recommend you write 5 positive things about yourself or things about the day that had happened.  You would be surprised at how much it helps to just get things out of your mind and on paper!  It is really important for people with anxiety to start looking at positive things in life and to believe in yourself.

Also, I used to work as a Chiropractor's assistant for 3 years and we quite a few people come in after WLS.  I can say I am almost 99% sure that your back and tail bone pain is because your body needs to be re-aligned after losing so much weight.  Your body is used to carrying around extra weight, and now that it has come off it just needs to re-adjust to it.  I would definately recommend seeing a chiropractor for your back pain.  You will feel soooo much better.  I promise after maybe 2 or 3 adjustments you will feel like a new woman!  The first one you might feel a little sore and not want to go back.  That is completely normal because your body is not used to be aligned at that weight.  But trust me go back a few times and you will see!!  Also, Chiropractic care is SO good for women going through menopause! 

I might also suggest getting a massage.  That will also help your body release those bad toxins and help regain strength at this new weight.  Plus it will help you relax a little and lift your spirits up! 

But I definately would go see a doctor about all of your symptoms and even get a second opinion if it helps.  Your doctor can also refer you to a good Chiropractor.  They are there to help you so just take a deep breath and keep your chin up!  Just have some faith in yourself and know that you are strong and you can conquere anything you put your mind too! I mean look at yourself, you have been through 9 open heart surgeries and a WLS!! If you can do that you can do anything!!  I think you are a strong amazing woman, but it just sounds like you have been through alot in your life and it has just built up so much that you are needing to seek relief!  So keep talking about your fears and know that it will all be okay girl!

 God Bless! - Sarah

Girl, you are going to be just fine. Here are somethings to help you through..

1) Pray...Prayer changes things...Write down all of your fears and ask God and the Angels to help remove your fears.  Put that paper in the trash and tell yourself, I am giving it to God.

2) Positive affirmations... get some index cards and go on the internet and type in Positive affirmations.  Write down the ones that you feel most comfortable with and keep those cards by your bedside and in your purse...everytime you worry, pull out your cards and put those positive thoughts in your mind.

3) Talk to a Pyschologist or a Minister that you can trust and release those fears.. we all have been there at some point in our lives and talking it out helps get us through.

4) Start a creative hobby, knitting, quilting painting, taking pictues anything to get your hands and mind coordinated so that you may feel whole again.

5) See a Gynecologist...ask about bio-identical Hormone Replacment.  It is natural and can help balance you. Also try some herbal Tea to relax you body.

6) Get involved in a charity.. helps others and see just how fortunate and blessed you are.

God bless you sweetheart, you did not die because there is something else that God feels that you can bless this earth with.  You will get through this and will help someone who has gone through what you have.  I will keep you in prayer and ask the Angels to embace you through this time...You are going to make it Girl...Love ya

Hello Wendy,

I believe that all of the previous posts had very good info and suggestions.  I am an anxious person too.  I had suffered a life threatening accident in 2000, but lived through it.  Do you suppose you may be having Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome?  I have seen my brother go through this.  It never goes completely away, but he got intense care for it and seemed back to his normal self within a few months.  I also know others that suffer from it.  I take anti-anxiety pills, not everyday, but when I feel one of those panic attacks coming on.  Also, if you have been on certain meds and then just quit, even after one day you are likely to stress out and feel that your nerves are fraying.  Many drugs they prescribe are habit forming and you will go through withdrawals, which are not fun.  Your post reminds me of myself when the panic attack starts.  I take a Xanax and then I feel better for the rest of the day.

I certainly will keep you in my prayers, and know that you will be alright, feel great, and glad to be alive!

Terri

Hi Wendy,

I am sitting here at my computer looking for some answers to some anxieties I am feeling right now.  I am 4 days post-op.  I'm trying to get it all down.  Thankfully, I don't have major health issues, just high risks, such as borderline diabetes, high BP, sleep apnea, depression.  I am trying to understand everything about the surgery I just had and what I did.  I think most of my anxieties are in my head and are full of "what if's"  Last year, I went through intense therapy and learned a lot about myself and how I react to life events.  You have been through a lot and your fears are real but I think it would be helpful to seek some counseling.  It always helped me to speak to someone who was not emotionally attached to me.  It is hard to stop that negative voice in our heads once it starts.  Try not to focus on the negatives too much as hard as that might be.  Take care and God Bless.  We are here to help one another. 
Michele

There are some newer anti-depressants that don't cause weight gain on the market such as Welbutrin or Lexipro or Cymbalta.  I know someone who takes Xanax and it has helped a  great for her anxiety but try not to take it too often.  She says that sometimes knowing that you have one in your pocket or purse if you need it is enough.  I would also really try to find someone to talk with regularly about your feelings you've been through a lot and deserve some help.  Good luck