Could I be a failure???????????

Hello to all. I ran across this board and thought I might post. I had the RNY on July 26 of this year. Yes I went across the boarder. I have managed to gain back 15 pounds. I am following the diet to the t. My mom had her surgery in Feb and has done real good. I was 265 and now I am back up to 280. I was 295 the day I had surgery. I had only lost a few pounds on the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. I thought this was suppose to be the re-birth everyone talks about. I feel like I am doing something wrong or that I am a failure. I know that my kidney's are starting to act up. I went to the doctor and said I had a UTI. Gave me antibiotics that I could not take. I really think I am trying to pass kidney stones. I do not feel like I am retaining water. I usually swell in my legs and fingers. I have started to exercise as well. Does anyone have any advice or words of wisdom. I look at other peoples profiles and just feel like I am a total failure. I know this surgery is not a miracle or it does not promise that you will lose all your weight. But my calorie intake is less than 300 calories a day as compared to 3 or 4 thousand a day. I do not understand. If I would of known my body was going to do this to me then I would of never had the surgery. Please do not get this wrong I do not regret having this surgery done. I just wish I could see some sign of hope. I am so depressed and feel hopeless. I know I am not the only one that feels this way. I just feel like crying. Thank you for reading if you got this far. Tanya

Tanya , (HUGS) Now take a deep breath .. You are not a failure .. youre not even one month out if I read correctly .. It is not possible to GAIN weight on 300 calories .. your body must be retaining fluid ..maybe something to do with your kidney infection .. Drinking lots of water will help your kidneys and help your body let go of the fluid .. just keep eating what your Drs have told you to .. Work on getting in your protein and your water and stay away from sugar and white carbs .. youre going to do fine .. hugs , Ruthie

My surgeon won't even weigh us at our 2 week check up because we don't lose weight that fast, I gained weight in the hospital. It is normal to have this fear, we all go through it, just hang in there you will be fine. I remember how you are feeling and here I sit almost 4 years later and I weigh 125 lbs (I was 325 when I started) . I promise, if you are eating that little the weight has to come off it just takes time!!! Hazel

Hi Tanya. {{{hugs}}}} You're a month out of surgery, correct? This means that you're still in the acute healing phase. It's absolutely normal after ANY big surgical procedure to still be feeling scuzzy after a month. It's also totally normal to be feel very emotionally fragile and like your world is turned upside down. Your whole body-mind is responding to a major invasion, and this takes time to heal. I'm preop with the WLS so I can't comment on specifics. I'm worried, though, about your sense of kidneys being not okay. What's this based on? And the UTI and the antibiotic that you couldn't take....What have you done to follow up on this? What kind of lab work have you had done? Have you been checked for fluid retention? Although I usually see my edema in my extremities first, it is entirely possible to swell elsewhere and not in the extremities--especially after surgery or with an infection. There's a term for swelling in your trunk/abdomen that I can't think of at the moment. This sounds to me (and I'm not a medical professional, only a "professional patient" due to lots of illness stuff *g*) like you have great reason for concern and to be real aggressive in getting a good medical evaluation ASAP. Your body has been through a lot and you can't be careful enough. I remember when I had my hystie a couple years ago, there was a big saying on the support forums I used: "You only have one chance to heal right the first time." It's not only okay to be hypervigilant and super cautious, it's imperative, especially since you're noticing that you are not feeling anywhere near right yet. Blessings to you hon, take good care of YOU.

Tanya, you need to be talking to your internist and your surgeon even if he is across the boarder. You need to take care of your kidney's and make sure you heal. Follow the plan for vitamins, protein and water. But also talk with your internist about your intake and your kidneys. Then find a support group that can help you through. There are others who are in your shoes. And no you aren't a failure! You know you might try entering your intake on fitday and keeping a journal so you can show it to your dietician, they are a great help as well. Don't give up...

Hi Tanya I'm sorry you are not feeling well. Sounds like you are not getting enough calories in that is why you are having trouble. ( just my opinion) Make sure it is protein first. I also like to go to a web site called www.thinnerself.com I forget the guys name but he has had WLS . Very informative. He also has charts that you can put info into and it gives you reports . Have you measured yourself lately ? You could be losing inches. If you are really worried I would talk to my doctor to see what he thinks. Good Luck, Sandy

Kidney problems can cause big fluid retention. You cannot gain fat on 300 cal/day. You need to be seen by either your surgeon (yea I know...a big trip) or a more local surgeon or a GI specialist to make sure everything mechanically is ok as well as your regular doctor regarding the kidney problems. 300 cal/day is also way too little. You also need to find a local nutritionist/dietitician who is well-versed with the dietary needs of RNY patients. Make sure your doctor gives you meds in a form you can take...especially early out, large pills are difficult if not impossible and may not break down well and absorb properly even if you can get them down...most antibiotics come in liquid forms. Request them... Nancy

Tanya, Also be careful with the amount of exercise you are doing. I was doing 8 miles a day and only taking in about 700-800 calories per day. I was sooooo angry that I stopped loosing weight. The sports specialist I opted to see explained that my normal caloric intake requirement WITHOUT any exercise was 1600 calories. That with the exercise I was doing, it should have been around 3,000 calories that I needed. SO my body was going into starvation mode and hoarding anything it had that would come in as a source of food...and it would try to store it as much as it could. I lightened up on the exercise as I could not take in enough calories to off-set what I was burning off...and I started doing better again. It is tricky getting use to the "right" way to put all the pieces together in this new puzzle called post-op life! Good luck!!! Laurie

If you lost 30lbs within your first month, that may have been too much too soon. I lost a bit too much in my first few weeks and even got a little dehyrdrated. I increased my fluids and gained some back. It's been three years since my RNY (8/8/03) and I am down from 260 to 155. (I fluctuate between 152-159) and I hope to get down to 140 after PS. It takes time to get the full effects for you. YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!! We can all give you our opinions or stories of what happened to US. but the truth is that we are all different and your journey is not going to be "just like" anyone elses, similar yes, but never exact. Good luck and keep us posted on your progress. PS. Over the past three years, my ability to eat certain foods has changed so if you have trouble with something now, that may change later. Keep trying. Also know that things you can eat now may not be tolerated later.

You have to consume at least 700-800 calories a day to lose weight. I know it may sound silly - but your body goes into a "caveman mode" - when you don't eat enough your body thinks its starving and actually stores fat. I went through a period of very little weight loss and was consuming 600 calores a day. My doctor told me to eat at least 800 calores - and the next week - I lost 5 lbs and have been losing fairly quickly since then. I am 5 months out and eat approximately 750 to 900 calories a day. I know other people who have had the same problem and it always comes back to the same thing - not eating enough!!! It's also very important to only eat 2-3 oz at a time because otherwise you will stretch your pouch - once you do that - you're sunk - because you will be able to consume more food and will not be as successful at losing. Best of luck -