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Never Forget Where You Came From

by Ronda Einbinder

Ramon Lopez had been teaching the alternative education class for 11 years. He found it easy to relate to these students, the ?bad kids? of the school. It was the end of the school year, his last year of teaching, when the class asked if they could play on the school computers. Ramon decided to honor their request and created a project that affected him personally: they would research members on ObesityHelp.com, a site Ramon had frequented because he was considering weight loss surgery to help rid some of the 464 pounds on his 5?8? frame. Unbeknownst to Ramon, that one assignment would change his life forever and help him realize that you can never forget where you came from.

Life was never easy for Ramon Lopez, the second of four street-smart boys growing up in the small town of Hamilton, Texas. Born with a hole in his heart, Ramon was unable to participate in sports like the other kids. ?I would play baseball, but after two or three innings I would be taken out of the game because my heart would race,? Ramon explained from his friend Debra Flores? home in Houston, where he was recovering from plastic surgery. ?So, I did not exercise like I should have and developed a built in excuse and stopped exercising; and without exercise you get obese.?

Ramon began staying away from the other kids. ?I remember being laughed at and telling my brothers I could not go places when they asked,? Ramon said. ?I would make up an excuse because I was embarrassed for them. I remember getting in an argument with a stranger after I walked down the stairs at a baseball game and the kid yelled, ?Hey, hey, hey, it?s Fat Albert.? He did not know me. How could he judge me just because I was obese??

Ramon refers to himself as a fourth generation alcoholic; he began drinking at the age of 12, but has been a recovering alcoholic for over 12 years. ?There is a lot that goes into everything about me,? Ramon explained. ?My father, who I call the sperm donor, was in and out of our lives until he was murdered when I was 13. He was never permanently in our lives and would only come around every six months. My mom, who I love with all my heart, raised four boys on her own. I am not talking four regular boys; she had some bad boys.?

In 1991, Ramon?s older brother Danny was fatally stabbed in the back while defending his family from a man that had threatened them. Although Ramon was only 24 years old, he took Danny?s wife and their three young kids into his home. ?That is why I began emotionally eating and drinking at that time,? Ramon said. ?Those kids did not need to see me drunk all the time like they did.?

Alternative education seemed like the best match for this man who calls himself ?not your normal teacher.? Ramon gave his students the attention they often were not getting outside the class. ?I taught the kids who were like me growing up,? said Ramon. ?I have tattoos and am bald, but I could relate to these kids.?

It was at this time that Ramon began considering weight loss surgery. After the third month of a six month supervised diet, Ramon had lost 34 pounds and believed the doctor would be ready to approve laparoscopic surgery. It turned out that Ramon was not 5?10?, as he always told people, but 5?8?, which changed his BMI (Body Mass Index) and made it impossible for him to have the surgery unless he lost 24 more pounds. ?I was ready to quit,? Ramon explained. ?The kids in my class asked me how it was going and I told them that I was ready to quit. They said ?You can?t quit,? and it was then that I told them to go on the Internet and research ObesityHelp.com. One student found a member named Yvonne who said she was willing to answer any questions. I sent Yvonne a question and then told the kids that if this lady emailed me back in 24 hours, then I would go forward with the surgery. She responded back in 10 minutes, and so I had to have the surgery, because I am a man of my word.?

Four months later, Ramon underwent laparoscopic gastric bypass surgery performed by Dr. Richard Symmonds at Scott and White Hospital in Temple, Texas. Yvonne made the three-hour drive from Plano to visit the new friend she had met two months earlier at the ObesityHelp National Convention in Arlington, Texas. ?She is a beautiful person,? Ramon said. ?We emailed each other back and forth and then finally met at the convention. This lady was just doing her job by answering an email and now the friendship that has blossomed is amazing.?

Ramon ended his teaching career and relocated to Dallas to work as an agent at a call center. On January 25, 2007, Ramon continued to pursue his dream of weight loss by undergoing plastic surgery on his lower body. He lived in Houston while recovering from the surgery, which had some complications due to his inability to quit smoking, and while there, he was filmed for a Learning Channel documentary on obesity. ?Dr. LoMonaco removed twenty pounds of skin,? said Ramon. ?I am blessed because I can tell my story to other people. I did make a mistake and was smoking when I should not have been. I was told to quit in November, but I didn?t.?

Yvonne spent five days in Houston visiting Ramon during his plastic surgery, and the two now have weekly lunches together in Dallas. ?I would never have met Yvonne without ObesityHelp,? Ramon continued. ?She is a Plano housewife. She is also very beautiful, and I am not. We are such an odd couple but our friendship is amazing.?

Ramon now weighs 190 pounds. ?I tell people I am 200 pounds because I can?t believe I weigh under 200,? Ramon explained. ?I have been big my whole life, but now I am wearing the same size clothes that I wore in the fourth grade.? Ramon now enjoys life in a way he never thought he could before. ?I can ride my bike and be gone for three hours,? he said. ?There is no experience like riding your bike in the country. When I visit my mom in our small town, people honk when I ride my bike because they know what I have been through.?

Some people in Ramon?s life are having difficulty accepting the new Ramon. ?I lost close to 300 pounds and am now a totally different person,? Ramon reflected. ?I get criticized a lot for this, and my girlfriend of twelve years is having a hard time. I am loving life now and the surgery has afforded me the luxury to not be a hermit.?

Ramon posts each day on the ObesityHelp Texas board about what he is grateful for and tells others they should do the same. ?Failure sucks,? Ramon explains. ?It is not an option for me, and neither is ever forgetting where I came from."

Click here to learn more about Ramon or check out all of Ramon's latest posts.

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