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Hi there,
I speak from understanding the point of view of your wife. My wife had bariatric surgery and although she hasn't lost weight yet, I've seen pictures of her at 100+ pounds less and it scares me.
The fear is there for a few reasons. Will she still love me since I'm chubby and she's not? Will she think less of me if I don't lose weight? Will she love me if I'm not needed to help her do things that she couldn't do before? What will it feel like to grab a boney arm or feel her ribs? Will I be attracted to a gaunt face post-surgery? If I'm not, how do I adjust? I met her on a big person's dating app, is it fair that she chose to change? Is it okay to feel upset?
That being said...I know she loves me and we will be together forever. She isn't going to leave me for some hot guy even though I'm afraid she might be tempted. All of these issues are mine and mine alone. I am not a bad person for having these feelings. I would be making poor choices to take my feelings out on my wife. She knows I feel insecure for the first time in our relationship. I'm choosing to get counseling to help me better understand how to deal with my insecurities and create a deeper, loving bond with my wife.
Your wife needs to do the same. Her feelings aren't wrong. They are based on her experience of life. What she chooses to do about them determines how you should move forward. Yet, I encourage you to give it time and get her into counseling asap. There's obviously issues she hasn't resolved and she needs help.
Good luck to the both of you,
I tend to hoard food also. It's my comfort. I'm working to get away from that. Seeing lots of food sitting on my open shelving is inviting old patterns to return. For this day, I'm retraining my brain to watch TV, go for a walk or perform self care tasks like doing my nails, shaving my legs, or a quick facial.
Hi Tattoo mom, it's the same reason I had wls. I was trying to help coach my kids sports teams in their middle school years and constantly getting bone fractures in my feet from being too fat. I knew I was going to either make things a lot better, or they would end up getting much worse. It's nearly a decade later and my activity level has completely transformed.
You can't be good for your kids or anyone else unless you are good for yourself first. Many of us put our needs and health dead last, but eventually you learn by taking care of yourself as a priority, everyone else ends up better off too.
on 9/16/22 7:31 am
You'll just need to have different documents ready to send if the lender asks for them. And of course, there are quick loans that might be helpful in your case (On this site, for example), though it is better to pay such a loan as quickly as possible in order not to overpay.
Hi, I had my surgery with Dr Shillingford on 8/17/22. I had the surgery at the hospital and not the out patient center...
- Is the surgery painful? The only part that was painful for me was the air that is trapped after, but walking and burping took care of that by the next morning.
- did anyone have the surgery at the Palm Beach Gardens outpatient center? I was at Coral Hills, I believe you just have a shorter stay at the outpatient center, like release that night, I was released the next afternoon.
- did you have lovonax shots after and if so for how long? Yes, everyone has to do them, it is to keep you from getting blood clots, as abdominal surgery runs a high risk. it is only 2 weeks and very easy to do.
- any complications and regrets? Zero regrets. It's only been a month, but I am down about 20 lbs since surgery, and that is with a stall (happens a lot the first few weeks). Definitely worth it. Just make sure you get your fluids in!
- any positives ( greatly welcomed ) Not being controlled by food and weight is a liberating thing. Its all an investment in the future!
I would google free Bariatric classes near me . Many weight loss surgeons hold informational classes where they show the various types of surgeries available , discuss the pros and negatives of each and answer questions.
If you post here your approximate geographic area members will tell you about their experiences with various local Bariatric docs .
(((()))) Good luck starting your exciting journey to a new healthier life !
Yes if you have any question I'll try my best to answer them and I'm here for you in any support you need.
There's areas that need to addressed first) 1) a six month supervised diet, 2) medical testing, 3) a psych evaluation, etc.
The process could take 6-9 months.
SW 327
GW 150
CW 126
There are requirements that need to be met before one is approved for WLS by both the insurance and surgeon performing the surgery. It really doesn't matter how much you weigh. The first step would be getting a referral to a bariatric surgeon if you haven't already.
Dr. Sanchez Lapband 9/12/2003
hw305/revision w280/cw197/gw150
Revision from Lap Band to Bypass on 2/4/2015 by Dr. Pohl
