Can you identify with any of these situations? You are working on a presentation at work and it is coming together just as you'd hoped. You are pleased with the progress you have made and know that your boss will be too. All of a sudden, you want to eat… perhaps something sweet, salty, and crunchy. The coffee shop is just across the street a couple of minutes away. You ate lunch less than an hour ago, so you aren't really hungry. You can't stop thinking of eating. Why?
You are driving to school to meet with your child's teacher for a routine parent/teacher conference. No big deal, right? On your way to the school, you drive by your favorite restaurant or fast food establishment. Even though you aren't hungry, you are craving something immediately that it serves. You drive through for a “quick snack? and are a few minutes late for the conference. What happened?
You received good news – you want to eat; you are worried – you want to eat; you are feeling down for no particular reason that you can identify – you want to eat. What is this voice that is similar to a recording playing over and over in your head? This is head hunger for emotional eating.
What is emotional eating? Emotional eating is when we eat in response to situations and feelings other than true physical hunger. Emotional eating is a way to suppress or calm emotions such as worry, boredom, sadness, or stress. The key to leaving the voice of emotional eating unanswered is to be aware. Be aware that emotional eating is triggered when you eat to feed a feeling, whether consciously or unconsciously, rather than feed a physical hunger. So… Stop, Look, Listen!
Some of the ways you can distinguish emotional eating from physical hunger are:
• If you are craving a certain food, and only that food will do (such as cookies, chips, pizza, or an unhealthy food item), that is emotional eating. If you eat because you are experiencing physical hunger, you are open to food choices to satisfy that hunger.
• Emotional eating hunger strikes suddenly while physical hunger occurs gradually. Emotional hunger happens instantaneously and wants to be satisfied NOW. Physical hunger does not demand to be satisfied immediately and can be delayed.
• Emotional eating is usually a process that is ongoing and prolonged. You can't seem to be satisfied and continue eating. One of the behaviors associated with emotional eating is searching. You eat something and then search for more or something else to feel full and satisfied. With physical hunger, you can stop eating when you feel a sense of satiety.
• Emotional eating causes you to feel guilt and shame afterwards. Negative self-talk usually results after emotional eating. Eating in response to physical hunger does not result in negative emotions or self-talk. Eating to satisfy physical hunger is an act of self-care and nurturing, resulting in positive feelings from taking care of yourself.
Food can be a welcome distraction. If you are worried, e.g., about your presentation or a parent teacher conference, food can take you away from your worry and distract you from your feelings. The distraction is only temporary and the situation or feelings return. In addition to the situation or feelings that you initially emotionally ate to cope, you now have added the negative feelings from emotional eating. When we have a headache or a physical discomfort, we take medication. Emotional eating is similar in that if we feel emotional discomfort, we want to eat to stuff the feeling or diminish the intensity. Food is for nourishment not for medicating!
Here are some tips and what to do when you want to emotionally eat:
• Identify the urge to emotionally eat. Does it strike so quickly that you haven't recognized it before? Instill a moment of pause when the desire occurs. This will allow you the opportunity to deal with the situation and feelings causing the drive to emotionally eat.
• What is triggering the desire to emotionally eat? Check in with yourself. What situation or feeling is most prominent at the time? Are you feeling worried, sad, overwhelmed, or angry?
• Distract yourself in a healthy, positive way rather than with food. Make a list of things you can do when you feel that urge to eat over your emotions. Call a friend, read a book, take a walk, watch a movie, listen to your favorite music, go outside and change your environment from the house (and kitchen), indulge in a bubble bath, or take a nap.
• Feel the feelings. Feelings are temporary. They can be used as a barometer as to what is going on inside you that needs your attention. Feelings will pass when they are experienced and allowed to come and go.
Be proactive and develop strategies for conquering emotional eating. Write a checklist of activities you can engage rather than emotionally eat. Many times the strongest compulsion for food occurs when you are feeling emotionally vulnerable. Many of us turn to food for comfort when faced with a situation, uncomfortable feelings, or looking to carve out time just for ourselves. Nurture yourself in other ways than food. Food is a quick fix while self-comforting acts are long lasting.
If you have given in to emotional eating, learn from it and start again. Make a plan by incorporating a new strategy for the future. Play it again… review the situation and feelings that you emotionally ate over and substitute another way of coping. Focus on the positive, healthy changes you've made in your life.
Empower yourself to silence the voice of emotional eating. Make your goal to be stronger than the pull of emotional eating. Remember the answer to handling situations and feelings lies in you and not in a bag of chips.
