WEIGHT GAIN AND GRIEF

I was sleeved in 2016. I lost 90 lbs. I gained 10 and maintained it until 1 year ago. July 2022, my husband of 48nyears got sick, was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic and liver cancer and died 1 week later.

When he was in the hospital and after his death, all I could get down was comfort food.....Pretzels, potatoes, bread, pasta, etc.

I've gained about 25 lbs. I am so pissed at myself. I can't seem to get back on program. I am taking Ozempic, now, and even that isn't helping.

I could use any and all advice!

Thx

I'm sorry for the loss of your husband. It is really difficult to deal with. My husband died 9/11/2022 from Lewy Body Demention (basiclly Demention with Parkinson's symptoms like shaking), I gained thirty pounds back. You and I are in the same boat. I understand completely.

It may not seem like it but there are two blessings:we're doing something about now instead of gaining even more and we've been this way before. Experience is a great tool.

Please don't come down hard on yourself. The fact that dealing with it speakes volumes on how you want to succeed.

What did you do before surgery and did your surgeon want you to lose weight before the surgery. What did you do to lose pre-surgery? What kind of diet did you do after surgery? Does the center where you had bariatric surgery have a dietician/nutrionist on staff. An option would be to talk to them. Are you journaling what you eat? Getting enough water? Where are you going for extra support?

This is a process not a destination.

Hi Kathleen,

Thank you for your response. I am so sorry for your loss, too.

Before surgery, I was put on a liquid diet for 2 weeks. After surgery, it was another 2 weeks liquid, 2 weeks soft, then slowly adding different foods.

When I was back on food, it was 4 oz. protein with each meal and veggies or one fruit. I cannot remember exactly, but I think that is right. Of course, there was also the protein shakes. It was so easy after the surgery because I was never hungry. I remember trying to get just 1 egg eaten.

I could go back to the dietitian, but they are way too far to get too. I've even thought about getting another surgery and get the bi-pass. Since the WLS, I've had several surgeries and now I am also disabled. Walking is very difficult as is exercising and using my arms. I just had a shoulder replacement.

I'm a mess, but I worked so hard to lose the weight and my husband sacrificed a lot for me to do it. He took care of me and was great about not going out to dinner until I was ready. You know us retired folks, we love to eat out!

Anyway, I wake up each day and say it will be today that I do what I need to do.

How are you doing????

Ronnie

You are so strong. With everything that you're going through physically, you have a fighters mentality. And a backbone of steel.

When I had my surgery back in 2009. the surgeon wanted us to lose at least 10 lbs before surgery. I did go to WW but used the plan they had back in 1972-1973. There wasn't as much leeway as there is now but it gave me better guidence as far as nutrition. I had to do a liquid diet three days before my gastric bypass. I can't remember all the dietary requirements after surgery because I had some stiches break and a fungal infection in my lungs complications. I do remember doing from clear liquids, to thicker liquids like soups to soft foods like cottage cheese and scrambled eggs to very moist meats like chicken.

I just went back to WW though. I find I need the accountablity of getting on the scale and tracking what I eat. I doing the 1973 version. The biggest change I make to it is sometimes the portion size is a little to high. For example, the dinner portion for chicken is 6 ounzes and I'll cut it down to 4 ounzes. If I go out to eat, I either get the kids meal or senior menu.

I wish you had a pool that you could use. Water arobics is a lot easier on the joints. The bouyentce(sorry for the spelling) of the water helps.

I wish I could help you more.

Revising to the bypass might be a good idea

Let me know how you make out.

Thank you so much!

I'm so sorry for your loss and I know what any type of loss or stress can put a wrench in our overall health. I had my surgery 11/2019. Lost 70# and was not even hungry that first year. Felt so good (i was 75 at the time and battled with my weight since I was 18). Then came the nightmare of my life. I lived in elderly housing and my next door neighbor took a dislike to me, made my life a living hell. Playing loud music, banging on my walls, all this time housing did nothing. Then Pandemic hit on top of it all. On February 25, 2021, said neighbor escalated and knock on my door, with gun in hand, and tried to kill me. Thank God I'm very strong and fought for my life. When he realized he couldn't win, turned the gun on himself and was pronounced deceased. I've gained almost all my weight back am in so much physical pain because of this weight. I started doing WW and have lost 4#. It doesn't seem like much but it's the first time I've lost in over a year.

I wish you all the best but no matter what be kind to yourself.

I know that you have been through some terrible emotional pain. But the truth about weight gain after surgery is that at the five year mark, approximately 50% of weight loss surgery patients have regained half of the lost weight.

Your regain is normal and expected. When regain happened to me, I found Weigh****chers to be the only thing that helped. I follow the 2023 plan, which means I can eat any food in any quantity as long as I count the points. During the pandemic I attended online meetings. I attended at least one meeting a day and sometimes two.

When I consulted my weight loss center nutritionist about the regain, the first thing she told me was to stop drinking protein shakes. It is an easy way to get in calories when you are not able to eat solid foods after surgery. But once you can eat solid foods, you don't need to drink more calories.

Worrying about following the post surgery diet is silly. It is like trying to feed your teenage son formula and baby food. You know longer have the stomach size of a new born baby and need to eat real foods.

I highly recommend the Weigh****chers book, The Shift, by Gary Foster. It took more than a year but I lost all of the 30 poundsof regained weight and no longer have any problem with regain. It was expensive, but for me money well spent.

Hi

Thank you for sharing. The more I think about it, the more I am thinking WW might be the way to go.

Ronnie

Ronnie~my very deepest sympathies ~ it sounds like you have really been through the wringer! Over the past 21 years ago, I had periods of roller coaster regain/reloss/etc....Currently I am pretty much staying 10~15 pounds BELOW goal. Who ever would have thunk it?? I credit it to God and Weigh****cher~ and White Dove, here on the board. She is wise, indeed!

Best of luck to you, and please let us know how it goes!

Thank you very much!!!