I cancelled my surgery

Hello. It has been some time since I posted. I am filled with mixed emotions and like a failure because I cancelled my surgery. I started the program and had a surgery date, went through most of the steps and then got scared! I have never had surgery and not even stitches and I panicked. I can't believe myself at this point. Has anyone else cancelled their surgery for any reason? Did you eventually go back and have the surgery?

I'm really sorry you did that.

It's so hard to fulfill all the requirements and get a surgery date ...

You're one of the very lucky ones ... maybe you can try to reschedule?

I am not sure yet if I will try to move forward with the surgery. I guess I need more time to consider...

Good for you. I wish I had.

Hi Lucile. It sounds like you had a bad experience. If you don't mind sharing did you have complications?

I think there are a few people on here who have mentioned that they canceled/rescheduled at least once; not sure if any are still active but you might find information in a search.

My opinion only is the surgery is the easy part; if you're not mentally ready for the changes you need to have for the rest of your life -- from taking supplements to being aware of what you eat/drink to all the effort that goes in after the malabsorption starts, then you're not ready for the surgery. Fear of the surgery itself wasn't a thing for me but I definitely did all the reasonable precautions/requirements before hand.

I hope you have a good support system in the practice that your working with to help you determine what the best next option for you is, whether that's surgery or something else.

Good luck!

Thank you Partlypollyanna. I have searched and did find some older posts about cancelling surgery or postponing. I was very happy with my doctor and his practice. The support there is very good. I guess I am just not ready yet. They do have a medically supervised program too but things like that have never worked for me longterm.

The first time I had surgery I was really scared. I told my neighbor who was about 20 years older than me and she said she had had so many surgeries that she had lost count. Still I was scared. That surgery was a hysterectomy. After about two weeks, I was pretty well healed and felt great.

That was 30 years ago and now I have had so many surgeries that I have lost count. After RNY surgery, I expected to feel so different. I felt exactly the same and if there were not a couple of band-aids on my stomach would have accused the surgeon of not really operating.

Surgery is a scary thought, but the hospital staff takes good care of patients and get them back to normal very quickly. Someday you may be over your fear and then you will be ready for weight loss surgery.

Thank you so much for responding and for your encouragement. I appreciate hearing from you and thank you for sharing that you had a similar fear of surgery but were able to overcome it.

Consider this analogy: Men and women are hesitant or scared to death before having any form of heart surgery (either before or after having a heart attack or something close to it). Once they know they have a heart problem they are haunted and scared to death by the possibility or likelihood that a serious medical incident will force them into the hospital with a serious more complicated surgery and recovery experience.

Consider this by comparison: You're probably morbidly obese or worse. You can't fit into your desired or previous clothing. You have trouble getting in and out of an average sized car and if you can you're not very comfortable once you're in and getting out is not so easy either. You can't comfortably fit into a chair with arms and at a restaurant you have to ask for a chair without them (if you're lucky that they have one) or hope they have a booth if you don't know beforehand. You call ahead to see if they have either to avoid the embarrassment of asking. You avoid going to the beach or a swimming pool because you can't fit into a bathing suit or are embarrassed if you can. If you walk too far or walk at all you get out of breath and risk passing out due to not getting enough oxygen to your brain. This is the short list of all the combined reasons that bariatric patients have to undergo the surgery. That will include all of the health reasons for doing so that you may not have experienced YET.

Instead of asking bariatric patients what their surgery experience was ask them for all the reasons they considered surgery in the first place (fears, anxiety, embarrassment, and the physical pain, mental suffering and health risks from being morbidly obese). Compare your reasons to theirs and see which ones you share and which ones only apply to you. If you don't have enough to reinforce your reasons for surgery then you may not need surgery at all and you can wait until there are enough reasons to get you back on the schedule.

If your doctor thinks you're healthy enough to have the surgery and you managed to qualify for it I'm glad to bet that the surgery itself is one of the safest surgeries you could ever expect to undergo and that the recovery is the least difficult or problematic. Your greatest hesitation may be the thought of no longer being able to eat the unhealthy things or the amount of them that you do or the challenge of incorporating exercises and activities that you're not accustomed to. Have an honest conversation with yourself (not others) to see what you want more; the lifestyle you currently have that caused the obesity. Or the freedom to be physically fit, as healthy as you should be, and the benefit of being free of all the negative aspects that this reply started with. You have to choose for yourself and not let others choose for you. Failure won't be an option and you will succeed and be grateful for it. Regardless of your choice, best wishes for your future.