Starting my journey

Posting here as the BC and ON forum seems to be "dead".

So heard from my endo the other day, the doctor running the program here in BC (Richmond, BC) has been trying to get a hold of me.

So now the real decision comes - do I go for it, or not?

My family is totally against it - partly because of the risks (I am Type 2 Diabetic) and of course COVID. The hospital where it would be done at has not had any exposures or outbreaks (as far as I know) but if I go for it, I go at it alone as they won't let my wife in the hospital.

So now I'm waiting patiently to hear back from the doctors office.

actually, having Type 2 diabetes is a major reason FOR doing it..

Here are a few pros and cons for you to consider.

We've had quite a few people on here who had their surgery during COVID times. I believe they all reported that staff made them feel safe and protected. We've also had quite a few people on here who had surgery before COVID, but were on their own (like me). AFAIK, everyone said it was OK; not as difficult as they expected.

As I'm sure you know, diabetes is a disease with the possibility of horrendous complications. WLS can often put Type 2 diabetes in remission. So that's a point in favour of having WLS.

If your diabetes is poorly controlled, or you already have certain serious complications, it might mean you are not a good candidate for surgery at this time. I'm sure your endo has considered your situation and feels the benefits far outweigh the risks, but definitely discuss your concerns (and your family's concerns) with them.

Your family probably hasn't researched WLS as much as you have. It's likely they've only heard scary stories. They may also be mentally minimising the potential complications of diabetes (because it's distressing to think about the suffering of a loved one). So you may need to educate them, and ultimately, you may need to emphasise that it's your body, your choice.

One good reason for not having surgery, at least not at this time, is if you are not ready to make some serious changes in your social life. Is dining out with friends a big part of your social life? Informal restaurants and cafes usually have suitable options, but a formal restaurant will probably feel like a waste of time and money given the small amount of food you will be able to eat. It's highly recommended that you give up drinking entirely to avoid the risk of transfer addiction. COVID aside, are frequent big dinners with extended family important to you? You may get tired of explaining to everyone that yes, you love the food, but you really can't eat more than a very small portion.

Another good reason for not having surgery yet is if you have an untreated food addiction or other mental issues that might make you eat past the point of fullness. This is something that the psych evaluation should uncover.

I was tip toeing around being diagnosed with full blown T2D and my doctor said that if I don't do something now, things would get worse.

Along with a barrage of other comorbidities, and help from a lot of helpful people here, I was able to have the courage and the understanding of what I was getting myself into. I am about 3 weeks out from surgery and it's been difficult, but it's been the best decision ever. I have already lost 20 lbs since surgery day

For about seven years after you get Type 2 diabetes, there is a very good chance that RNY will put it into remission forever. The longer you wait, the more your pancreas wears out. After seven years, remission is likely to be temporary or never happen at all.

Most people whose life would be greatly improved by the surgery never get it because they listen to the opinions of family and friends. It is a safe procedure that will make you life better if you are willing to do the work that goes along with the surgery.

The hospital will take precautions, including keeping people who do not need to be there away. You will be back home in a day or so. Make you own decision and I hope that is to take care of your health by having the surgery.

I realize I'm a few days late to reply, but if you've studied your options and feel like this is something that will work for you, I'd say go for it.

I started the process once and decided about halfway through I'd not put in enough earnest effort to really go through with surgery. A few more failed attempts a couple of years later, I went through with it and while I've had some hiccups along the way, I haven't ever told my family. They are completely unsupportive and it would create a toxic relationship with them that I'm not willing to have. I don't regret my surgery at all.

What I have found, in my life and in the lives of others, people are generally way more negative before they see the results. Granted, not everyone is going to be on board, but my parents just couldn't fathom why I would go through the process of having the surgery. When I hit a normal BMI ~10 months later, they finally got it. No one knows what it is like to be you, to walk in your shoes.

It can be very hard for the people closest to us to accept the surgery and the change itself. This is one of those rare areas where I generally tell people not to listen to the people in their lives, they are biased and attached to the person they've always known. Only you know if this is right for you. I can tell you, it was the best decision I ever made (by far) and has made my life a lot better (though it doesn't solve all your problems). Some of the naysayers very well may just be scared you're going to change as a person. I know I sure did (change), I'm not the pushover I once was, and some of the people in my life probably saw that coming when I said I was going to get the surgery.