I don't recognize myself!
Before I had weight loss surgery, I was in a bad car accident which left scars on my face and arms mostly, some on my legs. So I really had not been looking in the mirror too often. Not even to put on make-up. I had been working from home so it was not a big deal. Turn the corner, and my weight gain became too much so I sought out weight loss surgery, was approved and now I am at my goal! Having lost the weight I feel so much better but still avoid mirrors. A few days ago, I went to a hairstylist after 2 years of not going. My hair was three different shades of brown, blonde and some unwanted gray. It was falling out, very long and didn't look healthy at all. The hairdresser I picked, I had not been to before. I had warned when I called that I had very long hair and that I would be willing to cut a little bit. Well, HA! The joke was on me. My new hairdresser who has been doing hair for many, many years takes one look at me and says "How do you feel about going with your original dark brown color?" And I replied, "Well, I have always been blonde all my life so I prefer to stay blonde." (I was blonde even as a kid!). So she says, "I'll put some blonde highlights in." Okay? She proceeds to try and comb out my long, mostly blonde hair which has been falling out rapidly. She shows me how damaged my hair is and where she wants to cut it to make it healthy. That looked awful short to me. She saw my shock and then pulled my hair down further and said "See, it's still long to me at this length." It looked like she was not going to cut as much off after all so I gave the OK. And she cut away. When I saw how much hair she had cut off as it landed on the floor, my heart sunk. And now, I really wanted to avoid that mirror! So knowing I am her last customer (and only one for 3 hours) I tell the hairdresser that she doesn't need to worry about blow drying my hair or styling it after all this time. I was ok to walk out as is! Then she tells me, "No way! Thats the fun part for me." So she completes the finishing touches and now it's the dreaded mirror reveal. She turns my chair around and there I am. My God, my hair has never been this short except for maybe when I was pre-teen. Now, it barely reaches my shoulders and I am forced to look into the mirror by a complete stranger after years of avoiding my own refection. I am no longer a blonde! I have brown hair with blonde highlights apparently somewhere that I can't see. I have never not had blonde hair! When I got home, I stood in front of the full length mirror for the first time in a long time. With the weight loss and my new hair, I don't even recognize myself anymore. Now I have to wait and pray that my hair grows fast. I won't let it get as long as it was again but I would like some length back. Next time I go the the hairdresser, I will ask for a blonder color. I just can't get use to the darker color and the shorter length. But at least now I have healthy hair. LOL
I went to another hairdresser previously and she colored my hair so I don't know the color. She always said she was giving me highlights. But I always have had very long blonde hair and as I get older the lower half of my hair has always stayed blonde. It's the top half that shows mostly dark hair and even some gray. I haven't had my hair dyed or highlighted very often but it looks like that is going to change now!
Exactly how I feel! I hope I can come to like having shorter hair. I know long hair does not look good on me as I grow older but I just wasn't ready for how much was cut off. It's kind of funny because I see these makeovers on TV and see people like me not wanting to change their look and long hair, but when they do, they look so much better. Of course they have make up artists and the very best of makeover help!
there aren't many older women who can pull off the long-hair look. Some can - but I'm not one of them. My hair is too stringy to go long again. It looked better when I was younger. I think I could have probably waited until I was 40 or so, though, before going shorter (instead, I was like 32, I think, when I had it cut). One of my aunts once told me that women over 40 should go no longer than shoulder length - or if it's longer than that, they should wear it up. Probably one of those old rules people don't follow much anymore - and some older women DO actually look fine with longer hair. But not everyone...
I am not one that can pull of the long hair anymore either. My hair is very fine and tangles easy, especially when long. (I am now finding out shorter hair is my friend when it comes to the tangles and hair loss.) I agree that some women can pull off the long hair when older, but very few can that I have seen. I guess I sometimes don't realize my age Smart advice from your aunt. That is probably why my hairdresser made my hair the length she did. She is about my age and has short closely cropped hair that looks like a bob cut and looks great on her. At this point, I just want it long enough to put up in a bun too.
You're going through a lot of changes at once, which can be stressful, even if they're good changes. And hair is such a defining feature, almost as much as one's face. It sounds like you might have been OK with the shorter haircut, or the change in hair colour, but both at once was overwhelming. Maybe getting more highlights will ease the transition.
To people with grey hair:
My grey hair is a lot coarser than the hair I had when I was younger. I had pretty much given up on having it long. Periodically I would try growing it out, but it looked dull and "poofy", so I would cut it into a pixie again. The pixie looked cute, and was easy to take care of, but part of me missed the feeling of having long hair. Then I started watching Afro-Carribbean hair care channels on YouTube, and I realised that a lot of the tricks that they use would help me as well. It seems obvious in hindsight, but my grey hair is completely different than my brown hair was, and so it needs completely different care. I've been learning what ingredients to avoid in shampoos and conditioners. I've learned which oils penetrate and moisturise the hair, and which ones seal and protect (I need both, but at different steps in the process). I learned about low-porosity vs high-porosity hair. And now... my hair is shiny and non-poofy.
My first step was to choose a shampoo and conditioner without potentially problematic ingredients. This website was helpful for that. I know that many of the ingredients that are flagged by that website are OK, even beneficial to your hair. But choosing a shampoo and conditioner without any of those ingredients gave me a good starting point. Since then. I've been doing more research on the ingredients I was avoiding, and there are a few that I want to try in future.
Here's one of the YouTube channels that I have found particularly helpful: curly chemistry. She is a chemist, so her advice is evidence based, and I have found it to be consistent with the advice from dermatologists and other chemists.
Here's my new hair care routine. (This isn't a recommendation for you because your hair may be very different. It's just an example.) Before I wash my hair, I put coconut oil (which penetrates) all over and leave it for at least a half hour. Then I wash my hair and condition it. While my hair is still wet, I add argan oil (which seals), avoiding the scalp. I wrap my hair in a microfibre towel for perhaps 10 minutes, and then I blowdry it. This works for me now, but if I had followed this routine when I was younger, it would have left my hair an oily mess! That just goes to show how different my hair is now.
