Surgery was approved! Not everyone in my life is excited

Hi all,

My surgeon's office submitted to my insurance for approval on Monday, and surprisingly they received a letter the next day saying it was approved! Even though the office told me I should be fine, I was surprised that it happened so quick. I have been going back and forth with this decision for the last 2 years but in July decided this is what I what I want to do for my health and my happiness. It has been kind of hard telling all of my friends and family about this because I know how some of them feel about it. I've had some friends and family tell me they don't think I need it, and that I shouldn't do it. Just a little background I am 27 5'2 I weigh 240 and have been overweight pretty much my whole life. I have tried dieting and exercising but I barely lose weight. If I lose any I gain it back pretty soon. I am aware of what I am doing to my body and that the surgery isn't a magical fix. I already have to mentally prepare myself to work out and eat right, but it would be easier if I had the support of everyone close to me. I guess I am wondering if you all experienced the same thing, and how you've been able to look past the stigma of people thinking you're "cheating" or having people tell you to work out instead?

Anyone who says you're cheating, or just need to work out instead doesn't understand obesity or how it works.

I have never let anyone have a say in my actions in my life, especially as it pertains to my health decisions.

People fear what they don't understand. There is NOTHING easy about weight loss surgery. 11 years out, it's still a constant, daily reminder. I am grateful for it, but above all it is simply a tool.

You need to be strong enough to do this for yourself. If you have the support of others, then that is a plus. But almost everyone sees weight loss surgery as cheating and dangerous. They are going to try to talk you out of it or they are going to either secretly or openly despise you for being a pathetic weakling who can't even stay on a diet and exercise program.

You are not going to change those people's minds. I had surgery in October. On Thanksgiving I joined my family for dinner. I made myself a plate with one square inch of turkey, one teaspoon of mashed potatoes, and seven kernels of corn. I was full and satisfied with my meal. Other people at the table decided that I was just showing off and trying to make them look like gluttons.

The next week I attended my support group annual holiday party. When I got back from the buffet with my few tiny tastes of very weight-loss surgery friendly food, the lady sitting next to me got upset. She was a year out from her surgery and had a very full plate of food. But after watching me, she could not enjoy her meal.

I was extremely active in my support group. But even with people who had the surgery too, there was jealousy and resentment. I lost very quickly, I worked very hard in the exercise sessions, and I tried to help others. But they decided I was just a big showoff. Within a few months, I had lost most of my excess weight, had built new muscle, and that upset people who were two years out of surgery and had not lost their excess weight.

People are naturally competitive and critical of others. A year after your surgery you will probably be in the 120's. Others will be jealous. When I had some regain, I could see the happiness in their eyes.

There are many people whose lives would be so much better with weight loss surgery. But they will never get it. Part of the reason is the stigma attached to it. Get your surgery, follow your program, exercise, and get plastic surgery if you need it after the massive weight loss.

It is your life and you have an opportunity to live it the way you have always dreamed. Don't let other people rob that from you.

I guess it's to late not to tell them. Oh well. Lesson learned.

Variety is the spice of life. If everyone you know agreed with everything you do and think, things would be awfully boring.

It's said WLS makes good relationships better and bad ones worse. You're in for a bumpy ride.

People that love you can honestly disagree with what they believe is in your best interest. Others are just idiots. You have to figure out which are which. One way to help sort them is to tell them you've decided to do this and if they care about you they'll get behind you. The ones that get behind you are keepers.

Good luck,

Tek

Wow! I am surprised you got approval so quickly! Congratulations! I came to learn that it doesn't matter what your family and friends think about what you decide to do for your health. It's a very personal decision. They can and will celebrate with you when they can see that you are healthier and happier after your weight loss.

Congratulations on taking control of your life and health. It's the best thing that you'll ever do.

Here's something to think about (I'm not a psychologist or anything in the mental health field but I've seen this in my own life as well as friends): people who don't like your decision is because they have no say in what you're doing. They think they've lost control and that you'll buckle under their criticism of your actions.

Be happy and proud of what you're doing. It's not an easy decision but it's so worthwhile.

Good Luck and best wishes.

Every so often, please post so we know your progress and how well you're doing.

Congratulations!

I wouldn't tell anyone else personally or discuss it with anyone.

This site offers great support and experienced advice - you will just run into jealousy and ignorance with " normies " is my opinion.