Wife not attracted to me since my weight loss

You've changed, not just physically, but mentally as well, I'm sure. Change can be tough on a relationship, and there's probably some underlying issues, hurt, and resentment the two of you need to address. A marriage counsellor could help you communicate better, likely making your marriage stronger, or at least bring you clarity about what your next step should be. It's important to find a good counsellor, though, and one that both of you feel comfortable with.

We have talked about marriage counseling. I am still trying to convince her to go. I have definitely changed mentally too. I think I am a lot more outgoing and I am a happier person to be around.

It hurts my heart to read your post. To learn that the one person you love the most isn't attracted to you after so many years together just because you lost weight is heartbreaking. I don't know how I would handle that. My husband passed away suddenly. He was here one moment in time and gone just an hour after we shared our last kiss. He was murdered in a work place shooting. He love me through thick and thin literally and never once said or made me think that he was not attracted to me. I guess I was lucky. I hope you can work things out with your wife.

I am sorry about the loss of your husband in such a tragic way. I am hoping my wife and I can work things out too.

I am so sorry you lost your husband. I don't know you, but sending you lots of love and hugs. Really puts a lot into perspective.

An important lesson I've learned over the years is that people give you a message to get your attention. It's up to you to figure out the real message is, which often has nothing to do with what is said.

She's telling you something but it's probably not about your looks, it's more likely about her feelings and possibly her insecurities in light of your weight change.

Good luck and don't fear the future, embrace your new life and health.

Thank you. I hope it is just insecurities on her part. We have some talking to do. I have to admit that I have been a little distant since she told me.

To me love is love and to tell a man (or woman) that you are no longer attracted to them due to their physical changes is a deal breaker. Did your wife tell you that her attraction to you now is ONLY because of how your body has changed? Or is it more than that?

She didn't say but I have a feeling it is more than just how my body has changed. My personality has changed in the fact that I am more friendly and outgoing and I want to do things that I didn't want to before. Like take long walks, weight lifting. I have changed my focus on many things now that I have lost a good amount of weight.

Sorry you are going through this. We had a discussion about this in one of my online support groups and it was mentioned that a spouse may become resentful when too much "attention" from outside sources is received and in turn, your own attitude changes and it just turns into a big cycle. What I got out of the discussion was to be open and honest with your spouse about your feelings and put things out on the table. See a marriage counselor if you feel it may work for you. At least you can say you've tried and put forth the effort. Not all marriages work.