I am sorry to hear that your family is not supportive as well. Thank you for all of your insights. You bring up some great points and a lot for me to think about.

I agree with everything said! But... in addition, my DH was hesitant about it but after he read WLS for Dummies and we talked about it he got on board. He had been afraid that the surgery was too drastic and had too many risks.

My husband was supportive. He went me to the appointments with the surgeon and went to some of the support group meetings. He knew firsthand how hard I struggled and how frustrated I was by the weight.

He understood that the surgery would help my diabetes and give me better health.

After he passed away and I started dating, I would bring the surgery up after a few dates. If the reaction was not supportive, then I would not see that person again.

There is a book that I suggest you read. When my friends have weight loss surgery, I buy them a copy of this book. I found it extremely helpful.

The Emotional First Aid Kit: A Practical Guide to Life After Bariatric Surgery by Cynthia Alexander.

There is a saying that, "Ignorance is bliss". Anyone that chooses to stay ignorant is happy not having the knowledge that challenges people to achieve change in their lives. More than a few of these posts either imply or clearly represent that for some around us "ignorance is bliss" and that the knowledge you are gaining poses more of a challenge to them than it does to you. That can make sharing your knowledge with others, so they can better understand what motivates you, a very difficult if not impossible chore.

Nay saying is typically motivated by ignorance and not knowledge. Nay saying (ignorance) is also the first obstacle in the way of achieving anything worthwhile in life. As some posts suggest, if you can't educate them, leave them out of your decision making and don't rely on their support to achieve your goals. That's not easy to do unless you have an alternative source of support. Look outside of your immediate family and friends for support and encouragement.

The vast majority of bariatric surgery doctors provide pre-op education and support before even making a decision. The vast majority of post-op services include access to bariatric patients that act as ongoing sources of support. If no where else, that would be the place to establish personal relationships with other patients that can function outside of the formal support group. That coupled with distant online forums like Obesityhelp.com, Bariatricpal.com, and Americanbariatrics.org to name just a few you should have an ample amount of resources to educate and support you in your ongoing efforts.

Having someone nearby that can be present to help you with food planning, preparation and engaging in physical activity will be very helpful and that is where immediate family and friends can make a big contribution to your progress. In the absence of that you should plan ahead and try to establish that kind of support before you have bariatric surgery.

My surgery was by a doctor at Advent Health - Celebration (FL):

https://www.adventhealth.com/hospital/adventhealth-celebrati on/bariatric-and-weight-care "Once you step inside our hospital, we're behind you for life. Before, during, and after your medical weight loss procedure, our team will guide your path to wellness day by day."

Here is a list of 22 active support groups that I can access here in Florida:

https://www.obesityaction.org/community/find-support-connect /find-a-support-group/florida-support-groups/

There may be a few or many in your geographic area. If you post your location or the name of the doctor or facility where you are considering your surgery I or other forum members can help you identify support groups and organizations that would be available to you. Just keep in mind that KNOWLEDGE leads to UNDERSTANDING that leads to CHANGE that leads to ACHIEVMENT that leads to SUCCESS. Wishing you much success!

Thank you so much for all of the great feedback and advice and for the links! I will make a post once I have decided where and with what doctor I am going to have surgery and I will be grateful for any help in finding more support. And thank you for your well wishes!

I am glad you had such great support from your husband and I am sorry to hear he has passed away.

I will check into the book you recommended. I appreciate the recommendation very much.

Absolutely I have........

ive been with my BF for over 10 years and he's always poo-pooing the idea of WLS! I have researched WLS for over 3 years and this is something I really want to do. I've been overweight since I was 15......when I was 48 I went on Optifast with a doctor and got down to a size 8 from a size 24.....and back up to a size 24 today! I understand even with WLS I could gain weight if I screw up and eat crap! But at least WLS would help me get to goal better than with Optifast, etc....My mind is still on WLS. I'm still. Size 22-24 and can't stand it! It's pressure on my joints....I'm taking shots for my hips, knees now. I say keep striving forward. This is your health we're talking about! Give all the info to your BF and be firm.........doesn't he want you around to do more with him? Is he overweight? Take care.....

I am sorry to hear you are going through the same thing with your boyfriend not being supportive. I also have issues with my hips, knees and back. Something has to change. My boyfriend is not overweight and never has been so he doesn't understand.

I will keep moving forward and hope you do to if weight loss surgery is right for you. Here's to getting our health back!

I am sorry to hear that someone in your life is not supportive of your decision. Is this someone that you feel has your best interest at heart if you feel that he's not even listening to you? I agree with the other posters that if you want to do this, then do it. I am doing it because I am tired of gaining weight... I need something more. I have zero willpower and I need the tool to keep me in check. I have experienced some nay-sayers, but they aren't as close to me as a significant other or family member. I am seeing a psychologist and understand that this is my decision and mine alone and I've learned to stand up for the things I want and I know I need this to become a healthier version of me.

My girlfriend at the time was not supportive at all. I think in the end, she was afraid I would become too attractive and think I was too good for her. I think that's a lot of the pushback from loved ones, the fear they have of change. And it's honestly fairly valid, if you look at the numbers for divorce and whatnot after weight-loss surgery. I know a lot of relationships changed for me, not everyone was happy for me. There was a lot of jealousy.

This is something that can completely change your life for the better. I'm always of the mindset that if someone isn't a supportive, positive person in my life, why keep them in my life? Obviously I don't know the details of your situation, but something this surgery has done for me has helped me see my self-worth. I'm too valuable to waste my time on someone who isn't supportive and bringing positive energy to my life.