Having a hard time

Hello it has been many years since I have been on here but feel its time to get back to focusing on my journey. I lost 143 lbs initially but still never reached my goal weight. I had so many challenges afterwards I was just trying to stay alive. However, I do not regret my decision for weight loss surgery. I am so much better in many ways. After the death of my sister 1 year ago yesterday. I relapsed into a world where I ate everything in site and now am starting to gain again. I started dieting and walking 2.5 to 3 miles a day 4 days a week and was sure I had lost but not a lb. This was so discouraging it made me feel hopeless. I cannot give up. I never want to be where I was.

what does a days menu look like for you? Are you measuring and tracking what you are eating?

exercise is great in general but won't make you lose weight if your diet is not correct. It is about whT you are eating not how much you exercise.

Waiting for the scale to move is extremely frustrating, I know. Here are a few things that help me:

Do you have a scale that shows body fat percentage as well as weight? I find that my body fat percentage will go down first, followed a few days later by my weight. I also find that my body fat percentage is more stable, less affected by water weight and other fluctuations, so keeping an eye on it helps to keep me from getting frustrated and giving up.

When the scale won't budge, my first step is to make sure my diet is satisfying me. That might sound counterproductive; you might think my first step should be to reduce the amount I'm eating. But taking weight off takes time, so it's easy to get frustrated and quit. By making sure that I have structured my diet to have an assortment of foods that I enjoy, I am more likely to stick with it.

I recognise that occasionally wanting to eat when I am not hungry is normal. I make sure I have some low-calorie foods on hand that are crunchy or otherwise fun to eat. Some of my faves are fresh cherries, strawberries, watermelon, pomegranate seeds, carrot sticks. I also roll dates in cocoa powder. The first two taste like chocolate truffles, the third is just... meh, and after that the date taste overwhelms the chocolate flavour. It's a perfect treat because I only want a small amount.

If I feel that I really do need to reduce what I'm eating, I make one small change at a time. I look for small changes that I can make without feeling deprived. I start by examining the foods I eat most often; can I substitute something healthier for one of the ingredients?

Tracking everything I eat is vital. It helps me spot patterns and figure out small improvements. It also reassures me that I'm doing OK, and that if I just persist, eventually the scale will show results.

An app that shows my weight over time is really helpful. (Most food tracking apps provide this too.) I have a tendency to think I haven't lost anything in four weeks, which could discourage me and make me feel that I might as well give up. But then I look at the graph and see that I lost 1 kg two weeks ago. Another way the app helps me is by showing me my normal weight fluctuations over time, which helps me keep a sense of perspective on days when I mysteriously gain weight (usually jus****er weight) for no reason.

I try to do things that engage my other senses besides taste. Lighting a candle with a nice fragrance, enjoying the bouquet of a nice herbal tea, petting my cats and noticing how soft their fur is, noticing the warm sun on my skin. I find these particularly helpful in times of stress or sadness.

I am so very sorry for the loss of your sister.

As far as the weight loss goes, I do understand where you're coming from. I lost 135 lbs after gastric bypass but would have lied to have lost 20 more. Then I had thyroid surgery, and a 6 month struggle with anxiety and depression which led to a regain of 37 lbs. Like you I would "diet" but I finally realized I was dieting the way I would have before surgery. I finally realized that I need to go back to what worked after surgery. So for the last 2 weeks I've been keeping my calories under 1000 and usually under 800, carbs under 75 but ideally under 50 and 60 grams of protein per day. I am now down 9 lbs which I honestly thought was goi g to be impossible. I'm using My Fitness Pal to track.

Good luck, and remember to be kind to yourself, and practice self care.

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

What's good is that you are making little changes... Please remember that this journey is so much more than a moving scale. You are getting your motivation back, exercising and watching what you consume... those are victories too. It will never be easy and you know that because it never was. Take measurements, the bigger picture is that you are working on everything, not just a number on a scale.

Best of luck and we're rooting for you every step of the way