Breakup Letter

Hi Ben. Hi Jerry... You guys have been the best support system since my divorce.. I really appreciate you being there for me in your quiet non judgmental manner . I am really thankful for all the bone strengthening calcium you provided me and grateful that my kids can enjoy your Rbgh - free deliciousness.

But here is the thing...it is time for me to work on myself so I can feel confident when it is time to meet other men...don't worry you guys will always be number one ( and two) in my eyes but we all know it is time. I know you offer your whole self up to me freely but I must decline and let you know that no matter how I am feeling I don't need to deplete you to feel better.. instead I will still accept your gracious offerings but in smaller doses and will always be grateful that thru the times I felt I couldn't turn to anyone else you guys were there making me smile with your pick up lines of The American Dream Cone and Cherry Garcia.

Thanks again... I am off to console the spoon since it is hasn't been this heartbroken over a break up since we said goodbye to the whole jar of peanut butter.

Sounds like my letter to my former paramours-Lil Debbie, Sara Lee, Mrs Butterworth and those beautiful Twinkie Twins. Had a hard time quitting them, but like the Sirens of Greek Mythology in the Odyssey-they still call to me!! They were so good to me but so bad for me-Oh,how I miss them!!

Congratulations on the clean get away!

Omg i just realized im a lesbian!

And I just realized I'm in love with their cousin Cherry Garcia.

Oh my goodness... it took me a moment to "get" it... and made me laugh even more! Some posts today are exactly what I've needed.

Thank you!

Love this! So generous. So responsible. And f**king hilarious! :)

Yeah if I had a gf I'd never let those two gigolos near her.