negative comments
There was time when I was so fed up with negative comments, that when someone told me things like that I looked at them and asked "was that story supposed to make me feel good? No, so why were you telling me that? . Often the person realized that comments like that are negative and even if you wanted to change your mind, you can't. It's done.
Hala. RNY 5/14/2008; Happy At Goal =HAG
"I can eat or do anything I want to - as long as I am willing to deal with the consequences"
"Failure is not falling down, It is not getting up once you fell... So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again...."
maybe i just need some support, i don't know. i am 15 months RNY, having lost 161 lbs and doing super but for some reason whenever people ask me how i lost the wt and i tell them i get tons of negative comments and most of all horror stories, like i knew someone who had the surgery and this or that happened. i guess what i am saying is that i have had multiple surgeries in the past gallbladder, hip replacement, surgery for tongue cancer, hysterectomy etc and i never got those negative comments that i am getting for the RNY and i don't know why either. has this happened to anyone else? i am to the point that i want to just shut myself off from the world! some of the comments are so stupid its pathetic! thanks everyone!
you have received good answers and all I can add is to say do you pay for my health car? No? Then it's none of your concern." I'm pretty blunt while being respectful.
First and foremost... Congratulations on your weight loss! No one else's opinion about your medical history matters. Are you a horror story... you can respond with "well, now you know a success story!" It's funny when you tell people about any other disease and they don't bat an eyelash... but then you mention a weight-related "xyz" then suddenly everyone is a critic and an expert. Ultimately, it's up to you who you decide to tell. I use the opportunity to educate. If someone is willing to listen and learn about my struggles, they are worth the time to vest and understand my "why"... If I don't feel comfortable, I will tell another truth... diet, tracking and exercise and extreme discipline throughout the entire process. You'll find the tribe who is willing to support you, REGARDLESS and the nay-sayers, you'll learn to really not care what they think.
You keep doing you and keep at it. You are doing fantastic!
I'm a lot more open about it now than I was while I was losing weight. I didn't tell very many people about it then because I didn't want those negative comments, either. My close friends and family knew. And if someone else who struggled with their weight asked, I was honest about it. But skinny people? Rarely - unless I felt close to them or very "safe" around them. Skinny people believe the schlock about all it takes is diet and exercise, so that's what I told them I was doing (which was technically true, but...)
I don't usually tell people but I remember one time I told a nurse and she said "You don't look like you would have needed surgery". Huh? I just said that was the point, to lose weight so I wouldn't look like I needed to have WLS.
WLS 10/28/2002 Revision 7/23/2010
High Weight (2002) 240 Revision Weight (2010) 220 Current Weight 115.
I'm 3 years post OP, I also get the Negative feedback about having bariatric surgery. It Has to do with each individual person, I feel like I hear those negative comments daily, I took the easy way out or I know so-and-so who gained their weight back. If I had a A dollar for every time I heard that comment I would be a millionaire. I have been maintaining now for two years and people still can't believe I've maintained as long as I have. The whole bariatric community in itself has a lot of failure but also a lot of success. I'm happy to say that I am a success as of two years maintaining. Just shut your ears to negative comments and keep doing what you were doing. We all had to do what we had to do to get where we are today. Just stay strong and be happy that you made the right choice because I know I did. Sincerely Linda
