How do you stay motivated?

I've been obsessed all my life, but I want to change. I hate how when I go out to shop for new clothes, I can only look at the limited selection of XXLs. I want to look good and stop being ashamed about weird chair creaks during lessons, or having to schooch between the small space between desks to get to my seat.

It's really really really hard to change. I've been trying to lose weight since earlier this year. I've hired a person trainer for a short-lived lessons due to limited funds, I've asked my friend to be my training buddy (but she's pretty fit and won't get tired after only a few minutes). I've tried eating healthy for a while, but hot food felt so much better than a plate of cold salad. I've tried skipping breakfast, to only have two meals per day, because I don't have the patience for small meals once per a few hours...

I'm planning to hit the gym again starting tomorrow. But I'm afraid of losing that motivation. I feel really bad whenever I've failed at trying to lose weight. How do you guys go about cheering yourself through this challenge?

I assume you aren't a surgery patient or at least yet. Either way, set one goal at a time. Make it small and achievable. Usually that sets up a good pattern and progress from there. Exercise is great as a tool, but isn't required. I use it as a reinforcer of my commitment, but try not to get too sucked into it. However, I do find things I enjoy and do them as often as possible. Surround yourself with support would be my second piece of advice. That might mean getting a nutritionist to help you plan some eating changes (I've had some great ones and bad ones - just keep looking until one clicks). When you get a good one - ride the wave. Also consider therapy - I love my therapist and he's helped me in ways I never imagined.

So set small achievable goals

Find support that works for you - nutritionist, support group, therapist

for exercise - find something you enjoy to help alleviate stress, etc.

Good luck

My motivation is that my diabetes was getting really bad after being diagnosed for 7 years and failing to get it under control. I don't want to go blind, or end up on dialysis..or lose my limbs. I have a life time of dieting and regaining. Been on tons of diets.. The one consistent thing in every diet tried is I eventually gave up and regained all the weight loss..Most times gaining more. I loved getting fast food, and takeout from my favorite restaurants(who doesn't?) I loved going to the china buffets and all the other types of buffets...(even now I miss that old life) It was fun to me..and pleasurable. Food is pleasurable. The Holidays were the best whether it was my family and I cooking or getting it catered from our favorite place..Always leftovers for days. I miss that old life Until I remember How Isolating being morbidly obese is. How(like you) I was afraid of every new place I went to because I might not be able to fit in a chair that has sides..Or if the chair made a weird sound when I sat if it would break. I can name probably 100 embarrassing examples like this. Along with the excuse I told myself as to why it wasn't as bad as it really was. Or How I would pass out every time I ate because of my diabetes..and I would wake up in a pool of my own sweat...My eyes would burn from my diabetes and I would get blurry vision..My feet would feel like someone poured kerosene on them and someone lit a match. To this day my feet still are in pain from the damaging effects of diabetic nephropathy, even though my A1C is normal.

Not sure how old you are but there is only so many times you can lose motivation before your body starts to break down and it really is to late. The things we tell ourselves to justify getting 100+ pounds overweight is insane. I just spent my morning today trying to get a family member up off the floor because they slipped and fell down when trying to get out of bed this morning. The family member is close to 300lbs over weight. In complete denial about how big she actually is and how much food she actually eats. Usually she is up before me starting her day. This morning I awoke to the sound of the TV on in her room..when usually she is out already by 2 hours. She was on the floor and could not get up. Sitting in her own **** too embarrassed to call 911 because it would make a scene. No way i could lift her up myself. She finally called another family member to get out of work early so we both could try to lift her up...It took about 40mins of trying but we finally managed. I dont how the hell we did it..But that family member was literally telling me she would rather lay there on the floor and die than have the embarrassment of the fire dept. come and get her off the floor. She was making me feel like I was the insane one for wanting to call 911. This is what people like us do. It's insanity.

My advice is don't worry about your exorcise if you are 100s of pounds overweight. Focus on your food. Because the truth is every human being can get to a normal weight from their diet alone. That family member I was telling you about says the reason she is so big is because she can not exorcise. It's bullsht. Why are people who confined to wheelchairs not 300lbs over weight? Focus on your food and then you at least only have to worry about getting discouraged from 1 thing.

i'm sorry you had to deal with that difficult situation this morning. we can truly only take care of ourselves. and i agree with you that a body can only take so much before it breaks down.

I so relate!

diabetes nearly took my sight...at 35. I still have to deal with the decades of not caring or even really wanting to care about what happened to me. I have plenty of other stuff from diabetes but the eye sight is the one that kicked me in the ass and made me take notice.

i have a friend who is easily 300 lbs overweight. She is In such denial. I had to step way back from the toxicity that she's become. I'm just thankful she lives in a far away place or it'd hurt worse.

i know the disease is horrible..It truly affects everything if you don't get it in check. The worse part about it is you feel fine for a long time before you start noticing the damaging affects of it.

Jmk ,

"This is what people like us do. It's insanity......"

What you said.

THIS IS A GREAT POST! Telling it like it is, like it was. I can relate to everything you said! And anytime I lose motivation or feel I am not worth it, I am going to look to this post again. You GET it! It's all about accountability, amazing the lies we tell ourselves, the rationale, the justification. We were overweight because we ate TOO much, does not matter what our genetics were, how much we did or did not exercise, our emotional turmoil, issues, problems, abuse, etc, not saying it did not have something to do with it.......but..... it comes down to-WE ATE TOO MUCH!!

We cannot out train a bad diet, as we have heard over, and over, and over again. This tool is wonderful but only works as well as we use it. It's not a "easy way out", because now more so than ever we KNOW we need to take accountability-everyday, every meal, every way! I still have hypoglycemia, I know what makes my blood sugar drop, what gives me the jitters, makes me weak and anxious, yet at times I will still try to eat 1/2 a bagel or too much of the wrong fruit, rice, sweets, etc, and I'm there again!!! How I can relate to the Bible writer Paul who said "When I wish to do what is right I do what is wrong.... miserable man am I!"

Like you,I do miss sometimes the old life. I miss being able to eat from a buffet the many different kinds of food. I miss the home cooked food from a picnic table, a family reunion, the holidays, eating more than a slice or 1/2 slice pizza, more than 2 ribs, or 3 wings, taste of pie....until I realize what else was part of that old life-sickness, pain, embarrassment, guilt, humiliation, lack of control, lack of discipline, failure, again and again. Regain, again and again!

Funny how when we reminisce we leave out the bad parts. Yes, we were insane-trying the same things over and over again expecting different results! So thanks for the post. When I need motivation-I'l read it again and again!

Thank you for taking the time to write this reply Willie. It put a smile on my face when you said you will come back to this post whenever you lose motivation. So sorry you are having issues with low blood sugar. My brother also had the VSG and is only about 4 months out but still eats the carbs and it worries me. I keep telling him that one of the complications of the VSG surgery is reactive hypoglycemia but he doesn't seem to listen. He might have to find out the hard way how bad lousy low blood sugar makes you feel. I have only experienced it a few times when I was on a diabetes med that caused it and each time was horrible. Really hope you can get it under control because you are worth it bro. We might miss that old life of when we had bad eating habits, but at least now we now actually have A life.

i use an app to track what i eat. even with surgery, ongoing accountability is key to stay honest and on track. there are good free ones like iTrackBites and MyFitnessPals. my motivation over the years has waxed and waned, but i think overall its the war, not the battle, and don't give up. i would also encourage you to stay away from fad diets and crash diets. find out how many calories you should eat based on your age/weight/height/gender and stick to that. track everything, everyday. and remember its once day at a time. for me to accept that this is lifelong but it is what it is.