Telling people about surgery...

Hi y'all! Kailey here again. So I wanted to ask everyone how they handle telling people about their surgery? I've got a lot of mixed reactions when I tell people. A lot of people will go, "What?! You aren't even that big!" I guess they think you've got to be 500 pounds to get wls. My bmi is 43. I'm considered morbidly obese (ouch! I HATE that term) but it's reality.

Other family members like my brother (who is 6 feet tall and thin) ask me well how come you just don't exercise and diet? Out of everyone he should KNOW that's all I've done my entire life. He acts like I'm just taking the "easy way out".

Some friends have also said that the gastric sleeve will cause me to become an alcoholic or even DIE. People really should educate themselves about WLS and the common misconceptions that come with it. While it is possible to have complications, the death rate is so small for VSG surgery and yes, you CAN develop an issue with alcohol if you're not careful. You've got to make those emotional changes necessary and learn how to cope with life. I know these things...I just wish ppl we're more understanding and informed about WLS!

What has been everyone's experience?!

-Kailey

I told only a few family members and very close friends.

After I had the surgery and lost the weight, I told many more people. It was too late to argue with me and when they accused me of taking the easy way out, I laughed and agreed with them. That diet and exercise thing was just not working for me.

As time went by, I stopped telling people about it. It just was no longer something I wanted to talk much about and new people had not known me in my fatter days.

Everyone will have an opinion, but it is your body and you get to decide what you want to do for yourself.

It is not easy, but so worth it to be able to live the rest of my life without the fat.

Exactly! Ty for sharing your experience with this. Another woman who works at my son's school keeps asking me, aren't you scared? No, I'm more scared of what will happen if I don't get this surgery because all these years of yo yo diets and so many failures is not working...just like you said. I probably will be nervous to go under and the week or so before surgery but more than anything I'm excited!:) This is a positive change

I never hesitated to talk about my surgery in the beginning. Now I will tell anyone who wants to know about it.

Like most of us here, I struggled with my weight most of my life. I tried just about everything to lose the weight. But I'd lose it, regain it all back, along with extra pounds.

Then, I started to hear about WLS. It was open surgery at the time, and horror stories were rampant. Didn't pay much attention. Continued my dieting trials and tribulations.

Years passed. Then one day I was at a doctor's appointment and my doctor recommended WLS. And kept mentioning it. Finally started to look into it. It was laparoscopic now. And I started meeting people who had surgery and were successful. Went to orientation seminar and my mind was made up.

I started the process without mentioning it to anyone. But as I progressed down the pre-op trail, I had to request time off from work, make arrangements at home, etc. Finally told boyfriend and family and some co-workers. Boyfriend was dead set against it, and my mother and daughter were not happy about it. Some friends and co-workers were very encouraging on the other hand.

Whatever! My mind was made up. No more secrets. I knew I could not do it on my own. History proved that. I was doing it for my health. Period. I was hospitalized once for Congestive Heart Failure, I couldn't walk more than ten feet or up or down stairs without breathing difficulties, and my neck, back, hips and knees were killing me. Enough already.

Once I broke my silence about having the surgery I was relieved. It was my choice to make. I've never regretted it. ???

Thank you for sharing your experience! At the end of the day I figure it's MY body I have to suffer in, not them! Same as you I'm constantly out of breath, can barely keep up with my three year old son whos I'm almost positive hyperactive. My back is usually always sore and aching, I have zero energy most days and sleep apnea, asthma and thyroid disease on top of it. Losing weight has never been successful for me unless it was through unhealthy ways as a teenager taking diet pills etc.

Congratulations on your amazing weight loss.. despite you getting surgery to help that is something to STILL be proud of. It's not a quick overnight fix!

My experience so far with telling people has been good. Mind you, at 58 years old I find that people are far less likely to try to criticise my choices. (People have finally stopped telling me I'll want children some day!)

I think it's a shame that more people don't know that WLS is an option for them. For that reason, whenever the subject of weight comes up, I casually mention that I've had WLS. I don't expect other people to make the same choice; I fully understand if others prefer to be discrete about it.

But I prepared for it. I thought a lot in advance about how I'd respond to concerns and questions, so I'm not caught off guard. For example:

But you aren't that big! Depending on how it was said, I'd assume this was intended as a compliment rather than a criticism of my choice to have surgery.

Isn't the surgery dangerous? I heard about a woman who died, etc. I'd say "these days the surgery is very safe, and I chose an experienced surgeon. Besides, there are health risks associated with excess weight."

Why don't you just diet and exercise? I'd roll my eyes and say "gee, I never thought about that." End of discussion.

You'll become an alcoholic. WLS does somewhat increase the risk of that. I choose not to drink.

As it turns out, I haven't needed to use any of these responses!

hahah I love your responses. I hope you don't mind me using a few LOL!

Trying again. Will see if the whole message posts this time, and if not, I give up.

I love this response: "Gee, I never thought about that."

I'm pre-op and am slowly but surely telling most of the people whom I associate with that I'm having this surgery. I'm very fortunate in that most of the responses have been very positive, even congratulatory! I was surprised! I expected a lot more worry and cautions and "are you sure" types of responses.

But I'll keep these responses in mind for when I do get those questions. :)

For now I just have to deal with the regularly asked question, "Do you have a date yet." The answer is NO. Such a slow process of jumping through hoops to get approval, and it seems my surgery just gets further away, not closer. Every time I think I've gotten all my ducks in a row, I find out that there's one more out there. But soon enough, I guess...

That is how I feel with this whole insurance process but I'm hopeful and was told most likely (if approved) I'll get surgery in October. I'm committed to getting surgery and doing whatever it takes to get approved. I definitely can't afford to pay out of pocket (I wish!) Or else I'd have the surgery ASAP!

Anyways, the thing that's making this whole process SO much easier and smooth is I changed my whole hospital I wanted to go through. I looked into Beaumont hospital here in Michigan and they have a GREAT weight loss center that I go to monthly to get everything all taken care of in ONE place. They know exactly what my insurance requirements are and they're taking me through the whole thing step by step. I trust they'll get me there. Before, I had went to another hospital and almost gave up on idea of surgery because they gave me a crowded seminar (literally people couldn't even fit in the room) and basically sent me out there to do everything on my own..I was clueless and lost. I started seeing a primary care doctor to do a weight loss program under his supervision (per insurance)...he was horrible. He was basically in it for money and had me on a pre diabetes medication and I wasn't even pre diabetic! My sugar was fine bc I had it tested soon after somewhere else. He didn't even remember me Everytime I went back to see him..I felt he didn't care about me or my surgery and wasn't going to do it right. I knew I'd be denied if I stayed so luckily, I found Beaumonts program.:) Sorry so long!

Good luck to you and if you're not sure about current situation, take charge of your life and find somewhere else!

-Kailey