Guilt???
I am so proud of myself sometimes for what I've accomplished in the last 2 years. I've lost 200 lbs. Pre-surgery, I was on a walker. Yesterday, I walked 21000 steps, no walker involved. How is that possible, even. I never thought it would be. I'm eternally grateful to my PCP who told me so bluntly, "Lynn, if you don't do something drastic to lose weight, in a years time, you won't be able to get out of your chair. I think you need weight loss surgery." Believe me, I was in a state of shock when he said that.
So what does this have to do with guilt? I've had to have several epidurals in my back to resolve my arthritis issues in my back, more than likely caused by years of being overweight. I am facing having to have a pacemaker put in due to my slow heart rate. All of this is due to my years of overeating, making poor food choices, being obese. Had I not gained the weight in the first place, I wouldn't need surgery. If I'd gotten control of my weight sooner or succeeded on any one of my previous efforts to lose weight, I might not have needed surgery on my hip due to a torn tendon in my hip. Why couldn't I exercise the same self control that I do now, back then?
So should I feel proud of what I've accomplished in the past 2 years or guilty because I still suffer the repercussions of my poor food decisions and over eating and binge eating for years and years. Honestly, sometimes I feel both. It does help in some ways. When I think about having a food that I shouldn't have, when I am silly enough to make poor food choices, I try to remember the bad stuff and not repeat the same mistakes again.
It's definitely a head issue.
Surgeon: Dr. David Carroll Surgery Date: 3/17/2017 Hospital: Merritt Health River Oaks Hospital
Height: 5'2" HW: 331 lbs SW: 279 lbs GW: 130 (originally, I changed to 140) CW: 130 to 135 ish
Biggest Goal: To Be Healthy in everything I do!!! To make healthy choices always!!! To just embrace HEALTH each and every day for the rest of my Life!!!
Thank you.
Surgeon: Dr. David Carroll Surgery Date: 3/17/2017 Hospital: Merritt Health River Oaks Hospital
Height: 5'2" HW: 331 lbs SW: 279 lbs GW: 130 (originally, I changed to 140) CW: 130 to 135 ish
Biggest Goal: To Be Healthy in everything I do!!! To make healthy choices always!!! To just embrace HEALTH each and every day for the rest of my Life!!!
Unfortunately, our decisions and choices in life sometimes affect us way into the future even when we turn our lives around and do better going forward. One thing to remember is that you can't go back in time and change things; so dwelling on past mistakes and feeling guilty over things serves no purpose. You should focus on the here and now and what you've done to turn things around and how much better your life is because you did make the choices you needed to make to live better. Learn from past mistakes but don't dwell on them. Be proud of where you are now and keep pressing forward no looking back.
Thank you.
Surgeon: Dr. David Carroll Surgery Date: 3/17/2017 Hospital: Merritt Health River Oaks Hospital
Height: 5'2" HW: 331 lbs SW: 279 lbs GW: 130 (originally, I changed to 140) CW: 130 to 135 ish
Biggest Goal: To Be Healthy in everything I do!!! To make healthy choices always!!! To just embrace HEALTH each and every day for the rest of my Life!!!
Oh, honey! I'm proud of you!
Every "lesson" life gives us is one we obviously hadn't learned yet and were ripe to learn.
Maybe there are some new lessons left for us all to learn? :)
Ann
ANN 5'5", AGE 74, HW 235.6 (BMI 39.2), SW 216, GW 150, CW 132, BMI 22
POUNDS LOST: Pre-op -20, M1 -10, M2 -11, M3 -10, M4 -10, M5 -7, M6 -5, M7 -6, M8 -4, M9 -4,
NEXT 10 MOS. -12, TOTAL -100 LBS.