Gaining weight after gaining a partner

Not everyone, but at least 99% of weight loss surgery patients gain about 20 pounds during the third year after their surgery. By year three you have recovered from the effects of the surgery. Your body is ready to make up for the years that it feels you have been starving it.

To maintain your weight loss after three years, you have to eat a lot less food and exercise a lot more than you did during the first two years.

If you dont want to eat snack cakes, don't eat them. But make a big effort to have treats that are both healthy and delicious. When the boyfriend sees that there are much better snacks available, he will probably leave the Little Debbies in the store.

When he brings them in, throw them in the garbage. He doesn't need the snack cakes, the kids don't need the snack cakes. Work on some recipes that taste good, are a little carby but use stevia, etc and good carbs. Don't tell the kiddos or the boyfriend that they are "healthy" until after they like them. They need to learn that healthy tastes good. Smoothies with fruit are a good option also. Carby, sweet and you can also put veggies in them and a fair amount of protein powder.

I also have to say, we make choices. When you want the stuff, try journaling 1st. Why do you want the snack? What's going on at that point in time. Do some push ups instead of snacking, do some kind of exercise, etc. Today, I did eat 1 mini Reese's PB cup and it was worth it. One of my student's gave me a present and it was a bagful of candy. I gave it all away but I chose 1 PB cup, logged it, enjoyed it and moved on. You won't eat perfectly, all the time but if you make good choices 90 to 95% of the time, you will be fine.

If you are the one who cooks, cook healthy. Tell boyfriend, if he wants something else, he can either cook it himself or go get it and eat it in the car. My mom always said she wasn't a short order cook and neither should you be. Cook one meal. You can add some healthy carbs, i.e. quinoa, brown rice to the meal and choose not to eat that or because they are complex carbs that digest slowly and don't cause a sugar spike, have a small portion.

Most of all, meal plan and prep. That takes a lot of pressure off of you and you know what you will eat all week. Also, track. That will help to keep you more mindful of what you are eating and you can also look back and see what doesn't work for you.

I do the cooking. He will eat some of it and most of the time he gets take out and then shares it with my kids. I don't want to tell my kids not to eat the fast food while they are watching his kid eat it. He has started eating the fast food when I'm not there which has been helpful but still leaves my kids eating with him.

I am 3 years out from a vsg. I've recently moved in with a boyfriend. That has been stressful due to stressors of kids, combining families, and change of schedule and meals. I've gained 11 lbs. He is constantly bringing in snack cakes for the kids and soda. I've asked him not to buy it but he says they need it. One of my 5 kids is fat. He and I have both gained more weight because of eating the snack cakes. I still try to cook healthy but the boyfriend only wants carbs. He now hides the snack cakes which has helped some. I wish he just wouldn't buy them.

How do you deal with differences of opinions about what kids can eat? It's not fair for me to say my kids can't eat snacks while your kids do. I feel that would create too many problems. How do you deal with cooking in a way that everyone likes?

Move out.

He is being completely disrespectful. Did you know he ate junk food and cakes before you moved in with him? Did you think he would magically stop when you lived together?

i would tell him either he began to respect me and my wishes or I was leaving.

• I knew he ate junk food and fast food when he moved in. I didn't realize the extent of how much he ate it. He is obese. He is constantly bringing food in and that's his way of showing love. I didn't think his eating habits would affect my kids.

His behavior is affecting your kids AND you.

Ouch, that is tough. I think going for spouse counseling may help.

I would not break up with a boyfriend over him eating junk food. What other people eat is their business, even if they live in the same house as you. I would try to have more healthy choices available.

I would also talke to my kids about the dangers of eating that junk food, but would not forbid it.

Hi Ajeffries,

Share with him that my husband and I were buffet buddies. I had surgery got healthy and my husband didn't. I am here he is not. He died 12/5/2015 So much for the golden years. When you share that with him ask him "any questions"?