AMAW today - join in

My home scale does this and puts me at 18.5% body fat, but it's variable.

if you're female, 18.5% is pretty low. I was at 22% and my doctor told me it was time to stop losing weight - that I was considered "lean" for a female, and if I got much lower than that I would have been way too low. I'd have no cushion if I happened to get sick or something.

I just checked online, and for women, 15-20% is typical of top athletes, 20-24% is for fit women. Healthy/acceptable is 25-32%.

I had my DEXA at 146 lbs (I'm 5'6") when I still thought I had at least 10 lbs to lose. Nope. I was already where I needed to be. That "fat" was excess skin.

So I do agree with Gwen that you may be trying to maintain too low a body weight. 122 lbs can be OK for someone 5'5", but so can 140. It depends on your frame size, amount of musculature, etc. I agree that a DEXA scan will tell you what you need to know.

A single data point is not worth panicking over. Your body weight can fluctuate due to lots of things, like hydration, your menstrual cycle, and whatnot. I am very skeptical that you suddenly gained 2lb of fat overnight!

As Gwen said, it's very likely that if you have to try this hard then you're too low. I was able to maintain at 125lbs - but, it was mentally exhausting. I had to think about it constantly, count every bite that went into my mouth, weigh every bite, etc. I'm not willing to do that for the rest of my life. I literally obsessed over food. What I was going to cook, when I was going to eat, how much I was going to weigh in the morning. I craved food incessantly, very specific things. When I finally (with the help of a therapist, an RD, and my PCP) decided that there was a problem and I started eating food in quantities I needed, I gained weight to a level that has been "easy" to maintain (as easy as maintenance ever is for us).

The main thing that has helped me is doing the work on my mental state. Why did I feel the need to be that weight and such low body fat? What benefit did it provide me? None. Literally, none. Did you know that people with normal BMI have a higher mortality rate than those who are in the "overweight" BMI category according to this study? During my ED treatment that fact really helped to drive home the point for me, because I had WLS so I could be sure to be around for my children and then I was driving myself to be a weight that was potentially more dangerous for my longterm health.

If I remember correctly, you were not obese your entire life, correct? Where did your weight sit before your pregnancy? Are you trying to maintain a number that's lower than that?

This is an important point and something I have been thinking about quite a bit. I maintained at 135lbs from junior high until after college when I started to gain weight. At the time, I always felt fat and wanted to be 120 lbs. I was obese for 6-7 years before having VSG, with most of that time spent losing and regaining. After VSG, I got down to 122 lbs and felt amazing, then gained up to 136 lbs, then lost it again. I essentially have not experienced maintenance yet.

I still feel chubby at 136 and great in the low 120s, but it does seem like a huge effort to not gain. I feel like weight gain periods are going to be inevitable so I need to drive my weight down as low as I can when I'm not actively gaining. I also feel like I had a drastic surgery to help me maintain my ideal weight so I have no excuse not to figure out how to do just that.

My husband has essentially been a normal weight all of his life and my obsession with healthy eating and weight is driving him bananas. On the other hand, he has effortlessly lost the small amount of excess weight that he was carrying since I started caring so much about our food.

I'm also planning more children and want my weight to be as low as I can get it before inevitable pregnancy gain.

So there is a lot packed in here for me. Thank you so much for engaging in this topic with me.

I think you have a lot more work to do on your self-image than you do on your food consumption. If you're currently 124lbs then you're at a 20 BMI. That's the "really low" end of normal and there is literally no reason to be there. Even 135 puts you below what most places quote as "ideal". At my lowest, I was at 19.1 for a BMI and I had physical complications that were affecting my health (and that I didn't "feel"). Scary things like heart rhythm issues. I now sit around a 22 BMI and feel so much better. I even feel better about my body here.

I'm really glad Erin and others have chimed in. I'll admit to being a bit worried about you Mahonia. Your body is fighting to keep up, but without the fuel it needs. Moms of young children and women your age need the reserves that we sometimes tell ourselves is "just fat".

My eating disorder peaked when my girls were three-ish due to some trauma I had experienced at that age. No one looking at me could see what I was doing to my body internally to stay at that arbitrary "healthy" weight.

I didn't become SMO until after my youngest was born. Even then I lost the 80lb pregnancy gain in three months. Only to double my body weight in the next year. I understand your fears.

No pat answers from me - I'm just glad to see this discussion because I wish you well.

Meant to add this also: your husband likely cannot see the difference between you at +6 pounds or - 6 pounds. Nor can anyone else.

We can see our own body fluctuations. But our friends and loved ones may not be able to. Husbands are notorious for this. They don't see a change until it's substantial. They MIGHT notice a dress size increase or decrease but I really doubt it.

Realizing we are being horribly hard on ourselves is one of the first steps to doing better. The reality is, anyone who saw you at a BMI 20 probably won't see you as much bigger (if bigger at all) at BMI 22. I used to literally base what I wore to the office on my weight each day. Even though I never changed sizes. It was the stupidest thing ever but I didn't know that at the time.

So many years wasted over here. Understanding perspective was huge for me. I'm so glad you aren't waiting until you are in your 40's or 50's to recognize the thinking that isn't and hasn't been helpful to you.

I think it's a red flag that your husband is having trouble with your weight obsession, and a sign that things may really be out of control. Sometimes our partners see things that we can't.

It sounds like you would really benefit from speaking with a therapist to work through your feelings related to weight and body image.