Would you approach an overweight person to offer to help?

Kathy S.
on 10/25/18 8:32 am - InTheBurbs, XX
RNY on 08/29/04 with

Let's face it, when we are losing weight and hit goal there is no other high. We are so into the moment we want to shout it from the roof tops, we want everyone to feel the way we do. We want to help everyone that will listen. But..... Have you ever been in a situation where you saw someone struggling with their weight and wanted to approach them? Has anyone said anything to you? If so, how would you have felt?

This is a sensitive subject and I wanted to throw it out there for discussion. When I was 330 if someone approached me I would have been mortified and thought who the hell do you think you are? I would never have listen to them even if they meant well. For this reason I have never approached anyone. I have in support group meetings as they are there asking for help, asking for you to share.

Would you?

HW:330 - GW:150 - MW:118-125

RW:190 - CW:130

Liz WantsHealthForAll
on 10/25/18 8:37 am - Cape Cod, MA
VSG on 03/28/16

I would never approach a stranger about it, but if someone asked or there was a conversation where it seemed relevant, I would share my experiences and answer any questions.

One man at work who I saw periodically but didn't know, once asked me how I had lost the weight and I told him. He said he was going to contact the WLS Center I worked with to look into it. I don't know if he did, but I hope he followed through as he did seem to be very worried about his weight and it's affect on his life.

I was never approached by a stranger about WLS when I was obese, but one woman who I knew at work did share that she had RNY when I commented on her healthy portions at a work event. It spurred me to start looking into it.

Liz 5'3" HW: 219 SW: 185 GW: 125 LW: 113 Desired maintenance range: 120-125 CW: 119ish

Gwen M.
on 10/25/18 8:59 am
VSG on 03/13/14

Have I wanted to approach people? Sure. But I never would in a million years. For one, maybe they have had WLS already. Maybe they're down 50-100 pounds already. Maybe their current weight is the lowest they've been as an adult and they're already well on the road to a healthier life. You never, ever know. And, if you don't know... you don't know the person well enough to proselytize to them about WLS.

I don't give people other unsolicited health advice, I'm not going to do it about WLS. (Although, omg, when I see people with **** worn-out sneakers at the gym, I really, really have to fight the urge to give them advice.)

If someone asks me about my weight loss, or asks for advice, I am more than happy to share my experience and give advice, but only in the cases where it's solicited.

No one ever suggested WLS to me pre-op. Clearly, though, I don't live under a rock so I knew it was an option. I pursued it when I was ready. I tend to assume that other people fall into the same category. They know it's an option, they can easily research WLS thanks to the internet, and when/if they're ready, they'll do so.

VSG with Dr. Salameh - 3/13/2014
Diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and started Vyvanse - 7/22/2016
Reconstructive Surgeries with Dr. Michaels - 6/5/2017 (LBL & brachioplasty), 8/14/2017 (UBL & mastopexy), 11/6/2017 (medial leg lift)

Age 42 Height 5'4" HW 319 (1/3/2014) SW 293 (3/13/2014) CW 149 (7/16/2017)
Next Goal 145 - normal BMI | Total Weight Lost 170

TrendWeight | Food Blog (sort of functional) | Journal (down for maintenance)

Kathy S.
on 10/25/18 9:49 am - InTheBurbs, XX
RNY on 08/29/04 with

I remember a person in one of my support group had approached someone in the grocery store and shared in the group they just didn't understand the negative reaction. We tried to explain why this was to a good idea but they just didn't get it.

HW:330 - GW:150 - MW:118-125

RW:190 - CW:130

Cathy H.
on 10/25/18 12:58 pm
VSG on 10/31/16

Absolutely not! I wouldn't approach someone I knew, either. If they asked me...then sure, but otherwise no.

Livin' La KETO Loca!!
134 lbs lost since surgery, 195 overall!! Initial goal reached 9/15/17, (10.5 months)!
5'3", SW*: 299 GW: 175 HW 3/2015: 360 PSW* 5/2016: 330 *PSW=Prog Start Wt; SW=Surgery Wt

M1 -31, M2 -10, M3 -15, M4 -16, M5 -8, M6 -6, M7 -11, M8 -8, M9 -8, M10 -4, M10.5 -7 GOAL

Kathy S.
on 10/25/18 1:17 pm - InTheBurbs, XX
RNY on 08/29/04 with

the graphic

HW:330 - GW:150 - MW:118-125

RW:190 - CW:130

SweetRide1
on 10/27/18 6:17 am
RNY on 01/16/18

No.

The interesting thing that has happened since my surgery is that two work clients have approached me to ask about surgery. I've even gone to lunch with them and explained the whole process and what I thought of it.

Both of them are pursuing the surgery now.

Referral - May 31/17; Orientation - June 15/17; First Appt Nurse - June 26/17; Bloodwork and ECG - June 27/17; Sleep Study - July 5/17; Dietician Appt - July 10/17; Counsellor Appt - July 10/17; Abdominal Ultrasound - July 10/17: Endoscopy/Colonoscopy - July 25/17; Second Dietician Appt - September 14/17; Internist Appt - October 2/17; Meet the Surgeon - November 21/17; Pre Surgery Nutrition Class - January 12/18; Surgery - January 16/18

Kathy S.
on 10/29/18 7:36 am - InTheBurbs, XX
RNY on 08/29/04 with

Congratulations and way to pay it forward. If they are asking then they are interested in making a change

HW:330 - GW:150 - MW:118-125

RW:190 - CW:130

Vicki PNW
on 10/27/18 11:09 am

Not. At. All. !!! I am sure people would not appreciate unsolicited talks or advice about their weight.

One of my co-workers had WLS around 2010 and lost significant weight but had lots of excess skin. By 2018, she had gained all her weight back and possibly more. I am not friendly with her but have observed the changes in her body in silence over the years.

My dad used to be obsessed with my weight and eating habits. I would tell him to lay off his comments but he would persist. He went completely blind some six months before his death so he could no longer be obsessed. I do not miss him at all after six years.

Vicki

DS (lap) with Dr. Clifford Deveney. Cholecystectomy (lap) with Dr. Clifford Deveney 19 months post-op.

Has not weighed myself since 1/2010.  Letting my clothes gauge my progress instead.

Nanners0828
on 11/6/18 10:17 am
RNY on 04/25/18

No. I would not approach someone about it even though it was the best decision I ever made. In order to be successful with the weight loss journey, an individual needs to be "all in" and that is something they need to come to. Our comments will only offend. Share your successes and let folks decide what they want to do and when.

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